Your Biggest Regret In Life - Day #19

Blog Challenge - Day 19

 ~Your Biggest Regret In Life~

I regret a lot of things I've done, but the things I regret more are the things I didn't do and the things I didn't say.

I ran across this article  from Psychology Today that summarized research results from hundreds of people on “the biggest regret of their life.” I wasn't all that surprised to see where most people's regrets stemmed from.  The article showed that people’s biggest regrets were in one of the following four categories:

1. Education — In one of two forms: 1) not getting enough education or 2) not applying themselves more in school.
2. Career — Not pursuing the career they really loved. Instead, they chose something more practical or one that paid better.
3. Romance — Marrying the “wrong” person, not putting more effort into their marriage, doing something to hurt their partner, or letting someone special slip away.
4. Parenting — In one of two forms: 1) spending more time with their children or 2) wishing they had waited longer before having their first child.

I read a comment about this article that I found very enlightening.  It said:
"If I know anything, this I know for sure: my list and your list and the person next to you’s list will all have one thing in common. Each of our regret lists will contain someone who we love — whether it’s wishing that we spent more time with them, hadn’t lost touch, took back something hurtful that we said, shared more loving words, etc."

I believe that is true.  So much of our life is about our relationships. The bottom line is, the relationships we make while here are the most important things we will do.  Relationships affect us more than the others combined.  We can always get another job, or get more education, but when it comes to our children or our spouse/partner, sometimes we miss out on things that can't be re-captured or say things we can't take back or miss opportunities (forever) to say those things or do those things we wish we had. And so that is where most of our biggest regrets lie. 

This challenge really got me thinking and so I started to make a big huge long list of my regrets, but as I started to think about all of them, I stopped.... I decided that regrets are a waste of time.  Regrets are like dead flowers.  Most of the things we regret we can't change and so it serves no purpose and keep us stuck in the past.

 

There is really nothing to be gained from regrets other than the lessons we can learn from them.  I have also learned that when we get caught up in them, we start to beat ourselves up  thinking we should have done better.  But we did the best we could at the time with the information we had.  We need to let it go and have compassion for ourselves at that stage in life.  We can't rent a time travel machine and go back and un-do them, so why keep revisiting them when nothing can be done about it anyway? We are all human and make mistakes and do stupid things, but dwelling on them is pointless.  That is why we are here, to make mistakes, so we can learn from them.  That is how we learn best.  Yes, we are human and full of flaws, but we are also full of wonderful things as well.

 

This is where the atonement comes in.  We have been given this priceless gift of the atonement because Heavenly Father knew we would mess up and make mistakes.  That was the plan.  And if we take advantage of this amazing gift, all will be made right.

All we have is now.  The present moment.  And hopefully the future if we are lucky enough to have more days in store for us.

Now is the only moment we have that we can change.  The past can't be undone, but we can forgive ourselves for being human and move on.  

The future is still ours to do with it as we wish.
  

I found a great little article about how to live without regrets.  Check it out HERE.  

A Book You Could Read Over and Over Again and Never Get Sick of It - Day #18

Blog Challenge - Day 18

~A Book You Could Read Over and Over Again and Never Get Sick of It~

I knew I had to hurry through this post because if I didn't then I would spend way too much time thinking of all the books I LOVE and I would never be able to choose one!  My favorite books are historical, non-fiction, self help, biographies, and religious books.  I do read fiction, but I enjoy non-fiction the most.  Well, even with a rush post, I can't choose just one.  But, I did narrow it down to three four!

First of all, the book that became my parenting Bible is The Power of Positive Parenting by Dr. Glenn I. Latham.  This is a life changing book for parents and should be REQUIRED READING before you even become parents and definitely after you do.  This little book is packed with the most amazing principles that WORK! I have read and re-read and re-read this book (more so when my boys were young), but there is not a parenting problem that isn't answered in this book.  I was always amazed at how the things in this book work if applied.  It was truly almost like magic.   

Sadly, Dr. Latham passed away several years ago and he no longer lectures (I must have attended 10-15 of his presentations!), but his book is still being published.  You might have to get it online, but whatever you do, DO!  

Dr. Latham asked me to write an endorsement for this book when I was the Utah Young Mother in 1994, and I was very  happy to do so!  It is still on the back cover of the book.  He also asked my husband and I to read and edit his book, "Christlike Parenting", which we were more than happy to do.  He was an amazing man and I got to be very good friends with him and I admired and respected him deeply.  

He also asked me to be in his infomercial about this book and it was such an honor to be part of that.  We filmed it at Sundance and it was such a great experience for me.  The infomercial aired mostly out of Utah and I never got a chance to see it.  But just being a part of it was enough for me.

The world lost such an incredible man when he passed away.  Luckily his words and teachings live on!  EVERYONE THAT IS A PARENT OR WORK WITH CHILDREN NEEDS THIS BOOK!  I have a degree in Child Development and Family Studies, but I learned more from this book than all of that education combined!

I have a link on the side of my blog for free online courses on this book.
HERE it is again.

Another must read book for everyone, is The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom.  

I have read this book many times as well and I will read it again.  There are such amazing life lessons in this book about the power of gratitude and forgiveness and this book will change you.  It will make you appreciate the gift of life and be grateful for your blessings.  What an awesome book!

And last, but surely not least, I must include The Book of Mormon. There is an incredible power of the spirit in this book that comes the second you open it up.  It is a historical account of ancient people with all of their incredible journey's and trials and conversion to Christ and the Gospel.  I would not be who I am today if it wasn't for this book. I have read this book many many times and it is a book that I like to read from daily.  It blesses my life when I do and helps me to be better person and more Christlike.  This one is number one on my list of must reads!
 

Okay, I am going to do a bonus book because I just can't leave this one out!  It is called While Others Slept  a biography about Ellis Shipp M.D.  This amazing woman (1847-1939) was the first woman doctor in Utah. She founded The School of Nursing and Obstetrics.  She bore 10 children (six lived) all while having a successful medical career.  She was married to a polygamist and the story is just so enthralling of what she went through.  She successfully combined motherhood and a medical practice, saying, “It is to me the crowning joy of a woman’s life to be a mother.” In her 50-year medical career, she delivered more than 5,000 babies—and led the School of Nursing and Obstetrics in training five hundred women who became licensed midwives.  It is really an enlightening book and has always been one I could read over and over.  Sadly, I loaned it out to someone who never returned it.

How Important You Think Education Is - Day #17

 Blog Challenge - Day 17

~How Important You Think Education Is~

I love to learn!  I find joy and satisfaction in learning new things.  I want to know about so many things.  I just wish I had one of those brains that didn't forget once it had learned something!  Sometimes I have to study the exact same thing over and over and then I will still forget it. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to learn.  I think I could have been one of those forever students that never stop going to college if I had the funds to do so. I just plain and simply love learning.  This world is so full of the most interesting things and when I think of all that I don't know, I just want to absorb it all!  

I have always tried to continually educate myself through reading via newspapers, magazines, etc. and now on the internet.  I am becoming a reformed book-a-holic and when I used to go into a bookstore, I was like a kid in a candy store.  Now since the internet, I tend to do a LOT of my reading online and I don't buy or read as many books anymore.  I am also a Google Nerd and I can be found Googling frequently.  

I also love to take community classes that are offered.  Throughout my life, I have taken classes on writing, photography, parenting, sewing, water-coloring, gourmet cooking, dancing, motherhood, cake decorating, Benjamin Franklin, family traditions, family history, finances, marriage, self-defense, first aid, home decor, spiritual and religious topics, etc. etc. etc.  I could never name them all because I can't even remember half of them.  I love to attend BYU Education Week, Women's Conferences, American Mother's conventions and conferences, and pretty much ANY conference or educational forum offered.  If it's offered, I am there!  I love such a variety of subjects and topics that there is ALWAYS something being taught that interests me. 

I have always been big on education.  I believe that knowledge is power and the more we learn, the more successful lives we will lead.  That is not to say that if you have a formal education that you will be happier or wiser.  I believe education does not solely come from formal schooling.  I believe education happens each and every day of our lives as we learn from life's challenges and just through daily living.

I do, however, strongly encourage my son's to earn a degree from a University so they will always have that as a safeguard.  Since I was the first one on both sides of my family for generations to earn a Bachelors Degree, I really try and instill in my boy's how important it is to get a formal education.  That alone will open doors that otherwise will be shut.   


So yes, I do feel education is very important, but education in all kinds of things, not just chemistry and algebra. I first got my Associates Degree in Child Development from Weber State and then my Bachelor's in Family Science/Food and Nutrition with a minor in Psychology. And... I have been working in my field ever since!  I knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom and so I wanted to learn all I could in that area so I could be prepared and ready to do that job (thee hardest job on the planet!) the best that I could.  I have since learned that particular job comes with a LOT of on the job training that can be learned no other way!

And since knowledge is the only thing we take with us when we die, I think it's probably a pretty good idea to spend some time gaining a bit. =)

‘He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.’ A Chinese proverb.