Saturday, January 15, 2022

COURAGE! One Word 2022

I knew this year my word had to really have an impact on my brain. I knew this year was going to be a long and tough journey and my word had to be perfect to help me along the way.  It wasn't hard to come up with my word this year at all.  I knew instantly my word was to be:

My brother in law sent me this quote from John Wayne when he found out about my diagnosis:
I love it so much, I have decided it's going to be my mantra for this journey!

Courage does not mean you are always strong and always ready to fight. Sometimes it means you are weak but you choose to go forward anyway. It means you can allow the feelings and feel them all but then you must dig deep inside and pull out the strength and COURAGE you have already got buried inside and get back to the fight!

No matter how scared you are! 

Being scared BUT still willing to FIGHT the battle! 
I may be scared, but I am ready and willing to do whatever it takes to fight this battle that I have been involuntarily enlisted in. I MUST fight!  With every fiber of my being!  I have too much to live for to not!  


Fresh courage take....

Due to time I am not going to review my past ONE WORDS like I usually do. But you can see my last post about those HERE.

I also wrote an entire post (that I posted on Facebook) explaining a bit about my current journey that you can read HERE.

“COURAGE is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” - John Wayne

 “COURAGE is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” - John Wayne

This is what I posted on social media because I kept getting so many questions about what was going on with me.
COURAGE is my One Word for 2022.
2021 was a bit rough but I'm really going to need it for 2022!
Some of you already know, but for those who don't and for my dear customers of my It's Abundt Time cake business who have been so patient with my absence, it has been due to the devastating news that my breast cancer has metastasized to my bones and my health has become a priority over everything. I wasn't sure I wanted to post this but I felt I owed it to those of you who have supported me through this dream little business of mine. And now I ask for your support and prayers for me and my family as we forge ahead with COURAGE (even though we are a bit scared to death) on this new journey we have been forced upon.
Not many of us get to choose our trials but we will all have them. And when they come, you figure out how to deal with them. I am turning to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to help me through this journey and I have felt Him by my side every step of the way. I am going to fight this beast with all the life I have in me! And that's a lot!
I LOVE LIFE! It's such a gift. I’ve lived a lot of life in the last 60 years! Life is not something I take lightly, for I know how short and fragile it can be, so I cherish it with my whole soul. I know that each morning I arise and each breath I take is a gift!
I’ve weathered many storms, climbed many mountains and experienced the greatest vistas life has to offer. It’s been a whirlwind of highs and lows but through it all, I LIVED!
I’m not sure what’s ahead for me in the next several years… but I want to own every second, hold every minute, live every hour, and feel joy in every day. I want to RISE UP every single day and EXPECT MIRACLES! And I feel deep down in my core I will (absolutely WILL) receive them!
Life is full of challenges for each and everyone of us, and no one is going to escape the hardships along the way. The only way to live life is to find the joy in the midst of it all. I'm convinced the secret to life is to realize that we can’t wait for the hard to be gone before we find joy and peace. There’s always going to be hard, we must find it IN THE MIDDLE of the difficult!
Life is fragile Cherish the Moments!
If you want to do something for me go home and LOVE ❤️ your family AND your HEALTHY body no matter what it looks like! (we are all so hard on ourselves!) And then please say a prayer for me AND FOR my family!
I'm all SADDLED UP and ready for 2022!

I am SO grateful for the love and support I felt from this post! I am publishing these comments here so I can read and re-read them often! They give me strength!

Thursday, January 13, 2022


 About my brother Jerry. 
My brother Jerry (my only sibling) was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma T cell (a very rare type). He has been through a lot. He has already done a stem cell transplant but it didn't work. He has been through a lot of chemo and other treatments and all of the awful stuff that goes with that. They have moved three or four times since he was diagnosed. I will see him today at my niece's homecoming. It's going to be an emotional one I'm sure. I am pretty surprised how hard it has hit me. I guess because it seems so hopeless right now.

He will be all happy and upbeat though because he always is. He is the most positive person I know. I haven't seen my parents yet, but I will today as well. This just stinks.
He doesn't want to do the stem cell transplant again unless it's his only chance and I don't blame him as it will be even worse than last time. And if it didn't work the first time with his OWN cells, I'm sure with someone else's the odds are even lower. He asked me to be a donor and I was more than happy to comply but unfortunately, I wasn't a match.
Dave says his particular type of cancer is hard to treat. He isn't sounding very hopeful either and that scares me because he never goes down that road unless it's very clear it will happen. I was down that road yesterday but today I am going to be upbeat and positive and just take the FAITH route because seriously... WHAT DO I HAVE TO LOSE? Nothing, but a LOT to gain. I know Heavenly Father takes our faith seriously. He always has mine and I have been blessed with GREAT faith throughout my entire life. I have seen miracles time and time again because of my faith. My patriarchal blessing tells me it is one of my gifts. I just didn't know how often I would have to apply it. I had no faith yesterday though. Pretty much had him buried. I know that is showing zero faith. I need to pull my faith back out because I know there is great power in faith and in simply believing. Heavenly Father is a healer and He WILL heal him if it be His will. I am just going to proceed as if it is! This time I will put all my faith towards his healing. I pray it happens. I don't think my sweet mom can take it if he isn't healed. Oops, I was NOT going to go down that path. I am not going to even let those thoughts come in anymore. MIRACLES have not ceased! I just got several only 2.5 years ago.
Speaking of miracles, I'm not sure if I ever wrote about the story of my cat Lightning I had as a pet growing up. We had just moved to the Terrace and we were renting a house while my parents found a home to buy. I was about 8 yrs old and I really loved that cat. One day he came up missing. We had no idea what happened. My dad felt so bad for me and so he put an ad in the Lost and Found but we heard nothing. My parents kept trying to prepare me that he was not going to be found. A week went by and nothing. 10 days. Nothing. But, I did not once think I would not get him back. I prayed for his safe return and I had complete faith he would be found and come home. After two weeks, my parents knew it was not going to happen but kept putting the ad in the paper. Bless their hearts. Then one day we got a phone call from a lady in Hooper. She said she thought she had our cat because he matched the description. My dad asked her to put the phone by the cat and then gave me the phone and I called his name. The lady got back on the phone and said, "Yes! This is your cat"!, because of how he responded to my voice. We went to her house and sure enough it was him. I never once doubted. I wasn't even really surprised. Hooper of all places! It was over a 30 minute drive away. We think he got in the neighbor's car and ended up unexpectedly taking a ride either under the engine or inside. He used to get under my dad's truck engine all the time. He rode that way to Weber State once. That little experience has been with me for my entire life and I always draw on it when I need extra faith. He lived another 10 years. That cat really did have 9 lives!
Look what my scripture of the day was today:
Mormon 9:27
O then despise not, and wonder not, but hearken unto the words of the Lord, and ask the Father in the name of Jesus for what things soever ye shall stand in need. Doubt not, but be believing, and begin as in times of old, and come unto the Lord with all your heart, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him.


Monday, May 17, 2021

Called to speak in Stake Conference (AKA bear testimony with no warning)

Getting called to speak in Stake Conference on May 16, 2021 by Dave (President Wilding).
We had stake conference yesterday but it was on Zoom with the exception of the speaker's families and the high counselors and their families. I was sitting there enjoying the meeting immensely UNTIL Dave sends me a text that says, "Do you have anything to say?" I responded with a "NO!!!!!!!"

He was a bit panicked because they had extra time and he felt he needed to fill it and so WHO better to ask than his "supportive" spouse!? haha

Had McKay not been there I would have never seen his text because I don't generally look at my phone during church meetings. Luckily, McKay does! hah He sent him one to tell him to tell me to check my phone! LOL

After my vehemently written "No!!!!!" Dave then wrote, "Maybe just your testimony?" UGH! Seriously HOW DO YOU SAY NO to someone asking you to share your testimony? I was about to write, "Let's just get out really early and everyone will love you even more!" But, the guilt came through loud and clear and I wrote back, "It won't be very long". To which he responded, "Thank you!" Seeing those words shook me up a bit and I wrote back, "That was NOT a yes!" Though inside I KNEW it was!

Anyway, the funny thing about this whole story is the fact that a few weeks ago I was interviewed by another SP wife (Pres. Shepherd's) who is writing either a blog or developing an IG account to help support women who support their husband's in big callings. I had a three hour lunch with her asking me questions and videoing my answers. One of her questions was what advice I would give a new woman about to take on this same thing (wife of Stake President), and my response was, "My number one advice is to ALWAYS have a talk prepared!" The reason that is my #1 advice is because I was called up during stake conference without ANY warning (at the packed tabernacle) to share my testimony when Elder Randall came as our visiting authority. I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack! It was terrifying! And I am used to speaking! I just don't like speaking with NO warning! Ever since then I thought when a GA comes I need to have a talk prepared just in case!

That is STILL my #1 advice ONLY NOW It means even if there is NOT a visiting GA! I totally never thought it would happen when Dave was in charge! He would never do that to me! 😜

So as I was walking up, he was telling that little story. Of course, when I got to the pulpit (after I leaned over to his counselor and whispered, "You are really going to miss Dave. He is going to be dead after this!"), the first thing I said to the congregation was, "Yes, the story is true, but the ironic thing is, I DON'T have a talk prepared!" I am not sure they were amused or felt sorry for me!

I ended up saying a lot of "ummms" and pauses as I tried to gather my thoughts. I am glad I had just done the podcast because I had a lot of that fresh in my mind. I spoke mostly about FAITH. Pres. Hollingsworth had given a quote in his talk just before by Pres. Nelson on faith. The quote is: "Faith in Jesus Christ is the greatest power available to us in this life. All things are possible to them that believe."

And that quote was the basis of my testimony. I also talked about how I had several health challenges hit me all at once and I experienced great miracles and I related how that applies to faith. I said how faith has great power and that Heavenly Father wants to bless us. We aren't just down here to suffer and endure but he also wants to send us blessings and things we enjoy. I then spoke about the power of gratitude and that it truly has almost magical powers and can help out of any kind of despair or sorrow. I added that miracles happen as a result of faith if we BELIEVE. I also added that sometimes we don't get the miracles we hope and pray for and I don't know why, but God does. He has a plan and His plan is always greater than our own. I added that those two things Faith and Gratitude go hand in hand and if we can have both of them we can get through anything in life. "The Lord does not require perfect faith for us to have access to His perfect power. But He does ask us to believe." Pres. Nelson

TRUTH be told, I really have NO idea what I said! I hope that means the spirit took over so they could make sense of my words because in my mind they were all jumbled.

I did receive several messages after (15 to be exact) of people thanking me or telling me that is what they needed to hear. I was tempted to ask them what I said, but resisted the urge. hah

Anyway, then this morning I listened to an AMAZING podcast and I swear half the stuff she said was what I said. At least what was in my heart. Even though I have no idea what I said, I am pretty sure that is what I said! haha

Anyway, there is that!!!

HERE is the link to Pres. Nelson's amazing talk!

I will link the podcast because it has so much in it of what I said.

It is COME FOLLOW ME FOR US by Melanie. I love her podcast!

And HERE is Pres. Uchdorph's amazing talk she talks about on the podcast.


Monday, May 10, 2021

Wonders and Miracles Podcast Interview

I had the amazing honor of being featured as a guest on the podcast WONDERS and MIRACLES on May 10, 2021.  

It is an interesting story how it came to be. About a year and a half ago, I was asked to write an article for the Utah American Mother's Association website.  You can find that HERE. Or to go to the direct link go HERE.  

The article was titled HAPPY IN THE HARD and it was about my tsunami of health trials that hit basically all at once.  One of our members saw the article and wrote me and told me I needed to share my story on the podcast Wonders and Miracles.  She made connections with the podcast originator and shortly after I was then asked to be on the podcast by Liza Lawrence who is the originator and host of the podcast.  She asked if I could be on it in December of 2019.  I was unable to do that at the time and so I wrote back and told her that I just would not be able to right then and she wrote back trying to urge me to do it but knowing I was just unable to squeeze it in at that time, I just kind of forgot about it and never wrote back. 

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I received an email from Liza explaining her friend had told her about my story and she asked if I would be interested in being a featured guest. I don't think she remembered our previous correspondence. Interestingly enough, I had just listened to a talk about women needing to use our voices more in the world right now and not hiding them because our voices are in great need. So when this opportunity came I felt like I should just bury my fears and do it. It wasn't an easy thing to do, though it was an easy choice to decide. I felt like Heavenly Father had been preparing me with messages of how important it is for us to put ourselves out there even if it's scary so the world can have good things along with so much out there that is not good. 

She was very happy I agreed and we decided to record it on April 28th.  I really did not have a lot of time to prepare but I had printed off the article I wrote and went back through some blog posts and photos and felt like I would be good if I could just use my notes.  I got an email about 20 minutes before we were set to record to inform me that it would also be on YouTube. I wrote back asking about that and explaining I needed to have notes and so I asked if we could not do the video part. She said it was no big deal because she only has 100 subscribers on YouTube and one thousand on her podcast and to not worry about it all. Not worry?  haha  I would have washed my hair, had plastic surgery, a total overhaul had I known. JK (kind of).

 HERE is the direct link to the podcast. 
Or try THIS.

Lovely freeze frame. Just lovely. 
HERE is the YouTube link.

Truly honored and humbled to have been asked to be a featured guest on this amazing podcast @wondersandmiracles with Liza Weaver Lawrence. I am grateful for the privilege and opportunity to share some of the miracles I experienced during a time in my life when the rain was pouring down hard. 🌧☔️⛈

Sunday, January 17, 2021

One Word 2021

It's that time of year again!  This year I had several choices that I was considering for my One Word for 2021. Grace was one of them, as well as believe.  I really thought it would be grace, but then the word I ended up choosing just dropped into my lap like it seems to do every year.  It just confirms to me that there are greater powers that know better than I what my word should be.  

So the word I selected is....

Drum roll please....

I am going to make you wait just one teeny tiny second before I reveal it.  Why?  Because I always have to honor my past ONE WORDS first. You know me and traditions!  

Here are my past words starting with 2013:


My word for 2020 was
Had I ENVISIONED what 2020 was really going to be like I might have chosen a different word!  Ya know like, BEWARE!!!  What a ride it was!  

Okay without further ado, here is my new word for 2021!!!!

NOW, cue the drum roll...

I have chosen the word:

I truly believe this word found me because when it first appeared and I did some research almost every single definition of it had the other two words I was considering (grace and believe) as part of the description of the word.  That is when it was confirmed to me that it was MY WORD! 

This little acronym is really why I felt strongly it needed to be my word.
Each one of these things (above) are things I really want to improve on this year.  I truly want to abide in His word and in His love and in His presence more. 
  • I want to ASK for guidance more for myself and for others.
  • I want to have complete faith and BELIEVE He will answer my petitions.
  • I want to INVEST more time into studying His word and meditating on it more.
  • I want my attention to be focused and DIRECTED to HIM when I have to make a decision or I am in fear of something.
  • I truly want to ENJOY His presence more by inviting it to be there with me in all things.
I definitely feel like I have room for improvement in each of these areas and I am excited to see how things will change when I put my focus on these things for the reason to become closer to my Savior instead of these things being something I check off on a To Do list.

I hope as I ABIDE in Him, that He in turn will ABIDE in me.

I am looking forward to this year and what this word will teach me!

What is your ONE WORD?


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