COURAGE! One Word 2022

I knew this year my word had to really have an impact on my brain. I knew this year was going to be a long and tough journey and my word had to be perfect to help me along the way.  It wasn't hard to come up with my word this year at all.  I knew instantly my word was to be:

My brother in law sent me this quote from John Wayne when he found out about my diagnosis:

I love it so much, I have decided it's going to be my mantra for this journey!

Courage does not mean you are always strong and always ready to fight. Sometimes it means you are weak but you choose to go forward anyway. It means you can allow the feelings and feel them all but then you must dig deep inside and pull out the strength and COURAGE you have already got buried inside and get back to the fight!

No matter how scared you are! 
THAT IS WHAT DEFINES COURAGE!

Being scared BUT still willing to FIGHT the battle! 

I may be scared, but I am ready and willing to do whatever it takes to fight this battle that I have been involuntarily enlisted in. I MUST fight!  With every fiber of my being!  I have too much to live for to not!  

HERE WE GO!!!

Fresh courage take....

Due to time I am not going to review my past ONE WORDS like I usually do. But you can see my last post about those HERE.

I also wrote an entire post (that I posted on Facebook) explaining a bit about my current journey that you can read HERE.

One Word 2021

It's that time of year again!  This year I had several choices that I was considering for my One Word for 2021. Grace was one of them, as well as believe.  I really thought it would be grace, but then the word I ended up choosing just dropped into my lap like it seems to do every year.  It just confirms to me that there are greater powers that know better than I what my word should be.  

So the word I selected is....

Drum roll please....

I am going to make you wait just one teeny tiny second before I reveal it.  Why?  Because I always have to honor my past ONE WORDS first. You know me and traditions!  

Here are my past words starting with 2013:

2019

My word for 2020 was

Had I ENVISIONED what 2020 was really going to be like I might have chosen a different word!  Ya know like, BEWARE!!!  What a ride it was!  

Okay without further ado, here is my new word for 2021!!!!

NOW, cue the drum roll...

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I have chosen the word:

I truly believe this word found me because when it first appeared and I did some research almost every single definition of it had the other two words I was considering (grace and believe) as part of the description of the word.  That is when it was confirmed to me that it was MY WORD! 

This little acronym is really why I felt strongly it needed to be my word.

Each one of these things (above) are things I really want to improve on this year.  I truly want to abide in His word and in His love and in His presence more. 

• I want to ASK for guidance more for myself and for others.
• I want to have complete faith and BELIEVE He will answer my petitions.
• I want to INVEST more time into studying His word and meditating on it more.
• I want my attention to be focused and DIRECTED to HIM when I have to make a decision or I am in fear of something.
• I truly want to ENJOY His presence more by inviting it to be there with me in all things.

I definitely feel like I have room for improvement in each of these areas and I am excited to see how things will change when I put my focus on these things for the reason to become closer to my Savior instead of these things being something I check off on a To Do list.

I hope as I ABIDE in Him, that He in turn will ABIDE in me.

I am looking forward to this year and what this word will teach me!

What is your ONE WORD?

One Word 2020

It's that time of the year again where I choose my ONE WORD for the following year.  My words usually come to me before the first of the year and come easily and leave no doubt in my mind that I chose the right one.

This year however, that did NOT happen.  It took me almost three weeks into the year to confirm what my word would be for 2020. 

This was my word for last year:

SANGUINE

It was the perfect word for 2019.

 

Comments from that post ↑

Here are my ONE WORDS from the past several years:

Like I said, this year I have struggled trying to decide my ONE WORD. 

A lot.  

I have tossed around several words and each time I thought I had the right word and then I would suddenly know I didn't. 

A few of the words I have really given some deep thought to are:

EMBRACE

I want to embrace the reality of my situation with my leg and my running. I want to embrace the Lord's timing in all of it. I want to embrace the suck of it all. I want to embrace the gratitude I feel for the miracles I have had. I want to embrace LIFE!

BUT...

It just didn't settle in as the right word.

So, I thought about ...

TENACIOUS

It's a really good word as well.

Yet it's almost the opposite of embrace.

I want to be tenaciously FOCUSED on my VISION (20/20 vision in the year 2020) TENACIOUSLY! I don't want to give in or settle on not being able to get back to running as I was before the accident. I want to be determined as can be to get my leg back to normal.

I like TENACIOUS a lot. I really thought it would be my word. I even had these online downloads made with it. 

But then I wanted something to tie in with the year 2020 and the 20/20 vision and so I tossed around:

PERCIPIENCE

It just feel quite right either.  So I took a quiz on the website HERE that helps you find your word based on your answers.  The word I got was:

I wasn't too sure about that one and so I took it again and changed one of my answers that I wasn't sure which to pick and got this instead:

That one really doesn't feel right to me because I feel like that applied more to last year than this one. This year needs to be more than stand. It needs to be RUN!  Hah

I REALLY thought strongly about .....  AFFIRM.

I came close to going with that one, but I really wanted my word to have to do with 20/20 vision and focus.

I thought about the words VISION or VISUALIZE.  But, I wanted something more. 

Any of these words would have been amazing. But, none felt quite right.

After the New Year came and went, I still hadn't decided upon my word. I kept waiting for it to fall from the sky like in year's past. But it didn't.

So I kept searching for that ONE PERFECT WORD for 2020. I knew that when I found it I would immediately know it was the right one. 

I was just praying it would happen before 2021! 

After a LOT of pondering and thinking, and a lot of words that were almost right, but not quite, I finally knew what my word was to be this year.

Drum roll please......

ENVISION

Yep!  That's my word!!!

I want to go into 2020 with a clear focus. A 20/20 vision of what I want this year to become. I want this year to be one of a complete focus on envisioning the outcome. I want to make it a daily practice to envision how I wish for things to transpire. Mainly with my ankle, knee, and overall physical health situation.  I also want to envision a better spiritual, emotional, mental and overall human experience in every way.

If 2019 taught me anything, it was the POWER our minds have and how visualizing things in our minds along with actually feeling how we would feel once it happens (while going forth with complete faith) can bring about miracles and what we desire.

I have big plans for this year and so I need to be focused on working hard at doing that. It's not easy. It takes work. Mental work. It is draining but so worth it.

This word captures all those things.
So, YES! I found my perfect word for 2020!

What is YOUR word for 2020????

Sidenote: This year marks the 200th anniversary of Joseph Smith's First Vision as well. I didn't even think of that until after I had chosen this word. But, it's kind of cool. 

Sidenote:
I have to add this little thing that popped up on my Facebook memories because it made me laugh.

I love #4 - I'm Still Standing song by Elton John because it was so perfect, but #3 on the date of when one of my biggest dreams will come true --- it wasn't that exact date, but close to when I was told my ankle bone was not dying!  I love it all!  

*Monday Memos**

*MONDAY MEMOS*

   

 (If pictures are too small, just click to enlarge) 
Weekly recap of my rather crazy, insane, but fun and rewarding life!

dear monday, Taylor's back is still pretty bad. I worry it's a disc.  Ugh. Such bad luck with backs in this family. Today was our ice skating day. Just as we were leaving, Mike and Sabrina Bell showed up!  It was so good to see them. They were on their way to Crystal Hot Springs and were worried about me and my health and so stopped by to say hi.  They didn't stay too long because we were on our way but we called Dave while they were here. We are going to go to dinner soon. They were such great friends. I FORGOT TO TAKE A PHOTO!  

We then headed to the Ice Sheet in Ogden. I was nervous about skating but decided to at least try and see how it goes.  I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!!! Kinda.

It was okay but not like normal. My ankle got really tired and I did fall!  UGH!  The Zamboni had just been out and so it was wet and slick and boom! I didn't get hurt luckily. I played it very safe and didn't do any of my tricks. I took pictures instead. Hah  It was so fun.  Traditional photo ↓

 Cousins

Carson was not happy about skating at first,
but then he was able to go quite a ways on his own! 
I was so proud of him!

EVERYONE loves this kid!  And I mean everyone!

 Cousins

 Traditional photo ↑ that was not taken last year because I was not there!  Actually, lots of peeps weren't.

 Another ↑ traditional photo...

 And another ↑

Love this!

We then went to Eastern Winds for lunch per tradition. I love traditions! Good food!

Carson found some pandas!

Sky was driving us all in the Escalade. We hit TJMaxx and I got a new purple carry on  luggage and a cute vest and I was finding all kinds of stuff. Carson found a panda mug I bought him. Love that store. We then went to Hobby Lobby for Sarah. Love that store too. Fun day.  
THIS ↓ was waiting when we got home!  Hah! Mostly stuff for Sarah's businesses. 

dear tuesday, today is New Year's Eve. The VERY LAST DAY of the decade!  Wow!  Crazy!  Here is a family photo of 2010 a decade ago. 

Here is our current one. It was taken last year, but it's still fairly recent. At least it is our most recent one.  

I also did a running through the decades collage.

A lot has happened in the past 10 years.  If I had time I would go through and list the highlights but right now I am just trying to catch this up. I made a book of the highlights but haven't gotten it back yet.

  

SO MUCH TRUTH HERE!

I am loving this DI find!  We make square muffins, rolls, and of course brownies in it all the time!

Haylie came over with the kids and I watched them while she worked on court stuff. Bryce has been really sick for a couple days. He was home sick. He might have appendicitis. Hope not!

Carson and Brinlee were having a lot of fun and being very loud. Taylor asked me how I ever did five boys. haha  I told him I wasn't sure. Hah  They were all a bit crazy but so stinkin' cute. It was chaos and I am not sure how Haylie could even concentrate. 

After they headed home I had to run to the store and get stuff for the party. I came home and made Christmas crack and Twix bars today for the party tonight. 

We went to Dave's parents for the party. I took Brinlee with us.  Karen was late due to her dog eating choc chip cookies. Hah  Dave wasn't feeling too great but he came.  We had pizza and then played games. We played the IF/THEN game. It was so funny. We were all laughing so hard. McKay stopped in. He was at at party down the street. Barry was having fun with him. He said that we can't even have a party without him because he laughs so much and has the best laugh. He really does. McKay is so much fun and so funny. He makes all parties more fun. His laugh is contagious. I love all these people. I am so blessed to have such great in-laws.  Dave's parents went to bed early but everyone stayed and played. They started to play Dr. Mario and we almost missed the countdown. We tried to get it on downstairs but couldn't and so everyone ran upstairs like a herd of elephants and we got it turned on with only NINE seconds to spare!  We almost missed it!  Hah It was funny.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020!!! 

WOW!!! A new decade upon us! Hope it's the best ever!

This ↑ is soooooooooooooo sad!

The events that shaped the decade for Latter-day Saints HERE.

dear wednesday,

🎊🤩🎉 HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020! 🎊🤩🎉

I can't say I am sad to say goodbye to 2019, as it was a year like no other filled with a lot of stretching (literally) and new challenges that required a great deal of patience and enduring. But it was also a year filled with much growth and many blessings and miracles that I will forever look back on with immense gratitude for all it taught me and for the growth I received from it. I love the thought that it's better to GROW through our trials than just GO through them. With a brand new decade upon us, I am excited for the future and all it will bring good or bad. We are here to thrive and not just survive. To enjoy and not just endure. Life is a gift no matter what is thrown our way. And with God's love and help we can grow through anything. Here's to a 2020 filled with abundance and much growth! 💜

#topnine

Today I was so tired all day. I can't stay up that late anymore because no matter what time I go to bed, I still wake up at my normal 5:30 a.m.  I was tired. I should have gone walking but the snow was still covering the roads. Bryce was still sick today. Poor kid but Dave has ruled out appendicitis.  I should have taken down Christmas today but I just didn't have the energy. Dave was off. He made breakfast and dinner. Bless him. I worked on putting some stuff away from Christmas (not decors). I wish I had put them away but it was too chaotic today. It's been so nice having Taylor and McKay here. They go back soon. Taylor's back is finally starting to feel better. But probably not after he spent all day doing this...↓

dear thursday, today it was bitter cold and I didn't go walking. Instead I worked on home movies because I got an email for a really good one day deal at Larsen Digital that was a killer deal. I have been watching. They are usually $21 a tape but on sale for $17 and today only they were $13. If you have more than 200 tapes you get a bulk deal for $11 each. I talked to Dave about it and we decided that now is the time and it needs to be done and so we better just get it done. I went through them and sorted them out and watched several to see what was on them. Oh my gosh, we were all laughing our heads off!  Tyson was in them and it was so fun to hear his little giggle again and watch him. We watched Sky's bomb at the frog pond and Tyson and Matt and Bryce riding big wheels and tractors down our road into Dave C. little fence and he got after Matt in the video and it was all so fun to watch and the boys were dying laughing. Oh my heart. Seeing them and hearing their little voices and seeing how little they were and how fast they grew up. In one, Taylor was two and I was singing with him "Here comes Mr. Crocodile" and he loved the "snapped that monkey right out of that tree" part. He giggled and was the cutest. I am so grateful I have those recorded and so sad we didn't watch them very often.  It takes you back. I couldn't remember most of what we were watching but it was so fun. Life was so good back then. It's so complicated now they are all grown up. Tyson had so many movies he made with his Legos and his Lord of the Rings. He was amazing. He had to take a million still shots because they were animated. Sarah said if he were here today he would have a million followers on social media. Sky said he would be working for Pixar. He was very talented. He was so sweet. I miss that kid so much. You could hear him coughing in the background in a lot of them. It was hard to watch but not as hard as I thought. I want to watch all of them. I worked on that all day. My parents stopped in because they had been to see Dave. They watched a few of them too. One was Tyson's baptism. Dave read a letter I had written to Tyson and holy cow, I had tears!  The back of my head was in the video and all the boys were crawling on and off my lap and they were so cute. Just watching me with all those boys made me wonder how I did it all. But that letter. Geeze!  Talk about heart wrenching!  Dave was reading it and I had written it to him when he was six.  It talked about what a blessing he was and how unworthy I felt to be his mom and on and on. It's so crazy to sit there and watch your life in the past and have those glimpses into it. Dave looked so cute and he was such a good dad. He still is. It is just interesting to see the perspective you get by watching it years and years later. I don't think we fully cherish the moments we have while we are living them. Anyway, it was quite the experience and only confirmed no matter the cost, it will be worth it to have them all preserved. Sky does not agree. Hah

I forgot it was Thursday until later and so I went to Old Grist and got hot soup and bread for Dave's parent's dinner. I took it to them and they were grateful. We then went to Golden Spike Burgers for dinner. McKay had gone shooting and so he didn't go with us. We took him one though. So good!  We told Carson there was a ghost there. The Golden Spike Ghost. I kept banging the metal by our table every time he hit the back of the seat. It was hilarious. He believed it. Too cute. 

I have been trying to come up with my ONE WORD for the year and I am struggling this year. It usually just hits me and I KNOW without any doubt what my word is to be for the year but not this year. I have been tossing around a lot of words.  A few of them are: 
tenacious
fortitude
percipience
embrace
affirm
trust

You only get one life, so why go through it all miserable because of little things? Embrace the moment and be happy you’re living it, even if it is a hassle or freezing or what have you.

I really don't know what word this year. I will keep thinking and praying and hope it will just come to me like the others have. I wanted something to tie in with the year 2020 and the 20/20 vision but I have already used the word focus. Hmm...

dear friday, I am not sure what day of the week it even is. Having a holiday in the week really messes with your calendar. I got up early and went to the gym. Once again I was the only person there. It was tough doing my balance exercises. I notice when I only go once a week vs two or three, I lose it.  I came home and right after I arrived Haylie dropped off Brinlee and Liam. She had to go to court for something with the medical stuff with her ex. We had so much fun. They are so sweet and cute. I taught Brinlee to write a B.  She wasn't too sure about learning but I bribed her a bit. LOL I told her she could paint the birdhouse if she would practice it a bit. It worked and she got it down pretty fast. She is a cutie. She then painted the birdhouse... she got paint on her finger and showed me. I was dying laughing.  Too funny.

Liam painted with watercolors and he loved it. He is just the sweetest little thing. Haylie got back before we got our cookies made. I chatted with Haylie for a while about things. She is a very sweet girl. I just love her. I love having another female around. That's how I feel about having Sarah here too. It's so nice to not be the only one. Hah  They are both such great women. Sarah has a lot going for her as well. I just love her too. It's so fun to have another woman around. I haven't had that in forever. I cut Taylor's hair and then I worked on the poem for a bit. It's coming if I just had the time to really sit down and write it. Carson got home and then I made banana bread. Carson wanted to do science experiments.  

It is Taylor's last night here and so we bagged our date night and ordered pizza.  Then McKay headed out with friends, Taylor changed his oil and then went to see Mary Kate, and Sky was working. I tried to catch up on this a bit. It's getting harder to sit for more than 30 minutes to do that. Ugh.  Oh, Carson wrote about the Golden Spike Ghost in his journal at school today. LOL

Mr. Cat...

 aka Chilly Bam Billy, aka Chillsville, aka Chills, aka Bam Billy, aka pecial boy.

How I luff him!

dear saturday, today I hit the high school parking lot for the first time in a month or so. It was worth it though. I found this:

I think this means GOOD LUCK for the next decade.

That's 1000 pennies!

💸💰

#FoundOnMyWalkToday

#PenniesFromHeaven #InCash

How cool is that?  Love it!  I also found some coins! 

As well as this↓

It is a little glad stuck in a crack in the road.  That's a first! I left it there.

Taylor called me and asked where I was because breakfast was ready. I got in my 3.5 and rushed home. I was famished and so cold!  I am no longer acclimated to the cold like I have been for so many years from running. I can tell. I got showered and dressed and played UNO with Carson, McKay and Taylor for a bit. It was fun. I will miss having everyone around. Dave wanted to have a big meal in the afternoon before Taylor left and since it was fast Sunday tomorrow so we had my turkey that I won at the Turkey Trot this year. It was a great meal and I didn't do a lot to help. I was busy with so much other stuff all day. I haven't practiced the harp (except for once) all break. Ugh.  That makes me crazy when I do that. My lesson will be horrible. We ate and then I cleaned and the boys moved Sky's mattress to the apartment. They are moving out today or tomorrow. He had to work all day. Taylor went and watched Jaren wear a dress on Main St for losing fantasy football. So hilarious they do this. Cracks me up. CJ had to do it last year. 

I made banana bread so Taylor could take some back. He had his stuff all over trying to pack. He took off about 4 pm.  

And he was off!  

He was going to Boise for the night and then he will drive the rest of the way on Sunday.McKay left as well to go to Coops. It was feeling lonely already. I was freezing all day. Can't get warm anymore!  Carson and I made his panda blanket. He picked out the fabric and after I cut it out (he made little neck scarfs for his pandas) we tied it together. I was shocked how well that kid tied those knots. I think he did a better job than I did!  

We finished it and he loved it. It turned out so cute.

dear sunday, today our church started at 10:30. That's probably the perfect time!  It was packed. We got a new primary presidency and so we didn't teach a lesson today. We have five new Sunbeams and they are adorable! 

They are like deer in the headlights for the first couple of weeks though. It was snowing when we came home. I wasn't feeling super well today. I had an ear ache that was a killer and so rested for a bit. We ate turkey leftovers and it was so yummy. Carson took a nap and so I went upstairs and rested a bit more. I had a lot to do but just felt blah. I watched one of Poldark's episodes that I haven't watched all year. I just never watch TV.  I am so behind on it and This is Us. Seems I am behind on everything in my life. Carson and I facetimed Taylor tonight. He was building the desk I sent him. He is going to Costa Rica for spring break so I won't see him until summer. Sad. Sky and crew moved out tonight. We were the only ones here (well, and Mr. Cat). So quiet. Mr. Cat loved it and got all snuggly and purr-able with me. I found a card from Taylor by my bed. It was the sweetest thing ever. He said he just felt he should thank me for everything and how watching those home movies put everything into perspective for him and how he is amazed at how I raised five little wild boys. I think I should make them all watch them!  hah  But I feel like I have already got my investment out of what I am about to put in them cost wise.  It was so sweet. I could not get to sleep!

THIS quote WAS PROFOUND for me!  

I need to repeat it every single day! When it comes to my experience with running the Boston Marathon I really need to remember this quote. Especially when I am feeling bad that I might not ever get back there to run it again. I need to treasure those two years I was blessed enough to run it and focus on how great it was and not continually keep wishing I can get back again. If I do, that will be awesome, but for now I need to keep my focus on treasuring the two I ran as PEAK EXPERIENCES that may never come again. I want it to be that way. I don't want running that amazing race become common place and if I ran it many times, that might happen. So for now... I am leaving everything else out of the equation.  

dear random, 

DO THIS WITHOUT FIBBING... (post yours in comments or on your wall)

▪︎1. What was the last thing you drank? Water

▪︎2. Where was your profile picture taken? At the 2018 Boston Marathon finish line. 🏃‍♀️
*Oops, just changed it yesterday so this one was taken at home.

▪︎3. Worst pain ever - Worst physical pain - when a 400 lb snowmobile crushed my leg.

Worst emotional pain - losing my son.

▪︎4. Favorite place you have traveled? Too many to choose! I LOVE Hawaii, Puerto Rico (the whole Caribbean), New York, Boston, the Oregon coast, Europe. 🏝🏙

▪︎5. How late did you stay up last night? It was after midnight because we had gone to the Ice Castles in Midway.❄️

▪︎6. If you could move, where would it be? I would love a vacation beach house in a warm tropical place or on the Oregon coast. 🏝🌴🌊

▪︎7. What do you collect? Pennies from heaven. 📇👩‍👦‍👦
I also collect memories and like to document them! Thanks Facebook!

▪︎8. Favorite day of week? Depends on the week.

▪︎9. Amusement park or concert? I love roller coasters but I also love concerts. Riding a roller coaster while listening to a concert would be the perfect match! 🎢🎤

▪︎10. When was the last time you cried? Not sure but watching all these news reports of the suffering koalas and kangaroos from the Australian brush fires have been real tear jerkers! 🐨🦘🔥

▪︎11. Who took your cover photo? No idea. Got it off the internet I think.

▪︎12. Who's the last person you took a picture of? Cute little Carson. He is adorable! 🐼

▪︎13. What's your favorite season? SPRING! Counting down the days right now! 50 more to go! 🌷🌧

▪︎14. If you could have any other career, what would it be? I had the best career in the world being a stay at home mom but now the nest is emptying I would love to be a life coach or maybe a writer.👩‍👦‍👦📇

▪︎15. What are you missing right now? My Tyson 😇

▪︎16. If you could talk with anyone right now who would it be? Definitely Tyson

▪︎17. Are you a good influence? 🤔I try to be.

▪︎18. Does pineapple belong on pizza? Yes! I love Hawaiian pizza! 🍍

▪︎19. You have the remote, what are watching? Old movies.📽

▪︎20. Who do you think will play? Ya'll 😄

I am finally posting the shirt and medal Robin gave me from the Utah Valley Marathon. Yeah, it was in June I think. 

This is my mom's cousin Gordon Cutler. He was sworn in as Mayor for Unitah. Pretty cool. 

 This could have been Dave and I a few years ago before his hair turned the color of that snow in the photo.  :D

HERE is an article worth reading about the real cost of things we buy. Hint: it's not the money we spend on each item.  It might change your perspective. It did mine.

dear quotes,