Backwards Resolutions

Ahh....New Year's Resolutions. The self improvement program we all love to hate. After a long year behind us filled with mistakes and imperfections that we humans tend to accumulate rather easily over a 365 day period, the new year seems like the perfect opportunity for a FRESH START. For a clean slate.

And so... we make a list of things we are going to do better at during the next 365 days.

Only it ends up being 36.5 days. Or more realistically - 3.65 days.

But hey...36.5 days or 3.65 days of improvement IS better than nothing! So we do it again the next year, and the next, and the next. But as for me and myself...

NO. MORE. YES...NO more!

I am no longer going to make resolutions that only set me up for failure. Oh no. From now on I am going to set the kind of resolutions that guarantee my success.

Yes! Success! Guaranteed!

Sound like an info-mercial?

How am I going to do this you ask?

Well, that's easy. I am going to set resolutions that I will do...or more accurately, that I will NOT do. Sort of a backwards resolutions plan if you will. A list of things I can accomplish simply by NOT doing them. I saw something similar on another blog a while back and thought it just might work.

Here is my list of things I can pretty much guarantee I will accomplish (in a will not sort of way) by the end of 2009:

1. I will not start drinking alcoholic beverages.
2. I will not abstain from chocolate.
3. I will not retire from blogging.
4. I will not develop a strong distaste for purple.
5. I will not stop reading books.
6. I will not stop buying books.
7. I will not eat cookies and call it dinner....(this one will take a little more work than the others)
8. I will not buy anything pink or flowery for any of my children.
9. I will not be done with my Christmas shopping by December 1st.
10. I will not quit running - (see #2 and #7 for reasons on this).
11. I will not become a crack dealer.
12. I will not run for Mayor.
13. I will not stop having fun with my boys.
14. I will not sleep in past 5:30 a.m.on M thru F mornings IF (and ONLY IF) I can drag my weary bones out of bed so I can go to the gym - (see #2 & #7 for reasons on this as well).
15. I will not enjoy cleaning bathrooms - (see #8 for reasons on this).
16. I will not stop asking, "Who left their stinkin' dirty socks on the floor again?"
17. I will not become a pole dancer.
18. I will not refuse dessert.
19. I will not say, "Guess what? I'm pregnant!"
20. I will not break any of these resolutions...(especially #19)

We are already almost two weeks into the new year and I have accomplished them all 100% so far! Not bad!

So.....

What will you NOT do this year????