Power Hour & Personal Planner

I was recently asked to share how I do my scheduling and how I keep my life on track by a friend.  I'm not really sure the why of this request, other than she says she has learned that to get the best information about the "how to's" of scheduling is by asking the busiest people how they manage their lives.  I guess that means she thinks I fall into the category of one of the busiest people and that I can manage my life.  She has a lot to learn. haha I am not really sure how I feel about any of that.  Yes, I am busy.  We ALL are busy. Life is busy!  But I don't like to wear being busy as some kind of badge of honor like I used to.  Being busy is just a given for anyone that breaths.  But somewhere along the line it seems it's become something to be sought after and many try to obtain that status.

I recently read an article that stated that our culture has come to value and admire "busyness" more so now than ever.   It said that we are all striving to be busier and busier because when we are busy we feel most productive, thus successful.  I feel like the focus should not be on "busyness" per say, but on the quality of what we are busy doing.   Anyone can stay busy playing games on their phone or watching re-runs all day, so it's not really being busy that is what we should be striving for, but making sure our busyness has value.  We can stay busy laying on the grass watching the clouds roll by.  What we have to determine is that whatever we choose to busy ourselves with, if it has value to our souls.  Some people would think laying around watching the clouds roll by is the biggest waste of time known to man, while others would count that as one of the most important things of their day.  Everyone's opinion of what we classify as using our time wisely is different.  And that is how it should be.  We should not judge others for what they think is valuable just because we do not.  Personally, I am just trying to keep my head above water most of the time.

But in recent years I have learned that I don't want to have my calendar so full on my "to-do" list that I never have five minutes to stop and smell the roses or to have time open for people when they need me.  If a friend calls me up and asks if I can go to lunch with her, I want to be able to say yes to the request.  I don't want to feel so pressured all the time that I don't enjoy my limited time that I have been granted here while on earth.  Time is our most valuable commodity and I have learned that in order to appreciate that gift we don't have to be using every single minute in a way that our society deems productive.  I find my most productive time is when I am still and can actually think and process those thoughts.  That is time well spent because I discover things that I otherwise would not have.

Ha! Excuse the language, but life is short and we need to plan some fun in our lives too!

Most of us have had the notion so ingrained into our minds that idle hands are the devil's workshop, so we don't dare stop and relax and just chill without an incredible amount of guilt seeping in.  Studies have been done that have shown our minds need down time in order to allow the creative flow to happen and to allow our imaginations freedom to roam. So, instead of being thought of as being lazy, sitting and being still should be considered one of the most productive times of our day.

 

Now, having said all that, I still have a full calendar, but I really try and be as flexible with it as I can.  I run nearly every day, but I don't hold myself to a certain time of day unless I am running with a friend because I want to be flexible with things that come up.

Some days are like that!

I have always been a list maker and I've always had some type of personal planner for as long as I can remember.  I find it very therapeutic to check something off of a "to-do" list.  I have been known to go back and write things on my list that weren't already there, just so I can get that satisfaction of checking them off once they are done.

Lately I have started to really utilize my smart phone's calendar.  It took me awhile to get in the habit of putting down my schedule on it, but now that I am in the habit of doing that, I have found that my life runs so much smoother.  However, I am still stuck between the hard copy and digital when it comes to my personal planner.  I've been told I need to look into Google Calendar and get myself familiar with that.

But as for now, I still use both my personal planner hard copy and my smart phone calendar.  I like to have something visual in front of me that is a week at a glance.  That really helps me with my focus on the week. I know Google Calendar is a good tool, but it doesn't have all the little personal things that I want and need on my planner.  So for now I am still very happy with my hard copy and so that is what I am going to share today.  I know someday in the near future, my hard copy will become obsolete, but for now I have personalized it so much, that I can't bear to part with it just yet. And, it works for me.  After all that is what the whole idea is, right? 

Right!

One of my favorite quotes is:  "If you don't plan for it to happen, then plan on it not happening."  I am one of those that needs to plan something or at least write it down, or it just doesn't seem to get done.  Even when it is written down, most weeks I end up forwarding many things to the next week because I didn't accomplish everything I had hoped to during the week.  And that's okay.  I do what I can reasonably do without trying to beat myself up when things don't always get done.  I don't want to be a slave to my list of things to do.

My personal planner is just that.  Personal.  I made my own planner on the computer because I couldn't buy one that really fit all of my needs.  I have finally got it almost perfected to where it really fits what I personally prefer and need in a planner.  I have tweaked it many times over the years and just recently changed it again so I could include a spot on it called Power Hour.

I learned about Power Hour from an article I read recently that talked about how we all have tasks that we keep putting off for months, maybe even years because they aren't urgent and have no deadline (which is why they don't get done), but they weigh heavily on our minds and sap our energy.  Something that can be done at any time is often done at no time.  The article said to set aside one hour once a week to work on these tasks.  One hour?  That doesn't seem like much, which is exactly the reason why this works so well.  One hour doesn't seem overwhelming even though the task may.  Anyone can work on something for one hour and the best thing is most of those tasks really only take an hour and if they do take longer, I have found that once I have committed myself to it, I want to keep going until it's completed. It helps to have a master list that you can draw from.  Some of the things on my list are:

• Start blog book
• Re-do baking center
• Organize jewelry
• Organize bathroom cupboards
• Do boys memory boxes
• Put together memory book for friend
• Do "W" craft
• Put running gear in shoe pocket holder
• Order photo prints
• Clean closet and donate clothes to DI
• Write this blog post (I started this months ago and just never got around to finishing it because it wasn't urgent)

Power Hour isn't for tasks like planning a birthday party or things that will get done due to a deadline or for things that are reoccurring tasks like paying bills or answering emails.  It's purpose is to accomplish those one time tasks that become such a weight on our shoulders and minds.  It's very satisfying to be able to cross something off my list that had been getting continuously postponed and draining me. It feels so good. 

As I said, I have adapted my planner to fit my needs.  I found that if I had a place to check off things like reading my scriptures and saying my prayers, and flossing daily☺, then they were more likely to get done.  I am motivated by that simple little act of being able to put that check mark next to the task.  It is such a rewarding feeling!  I know, that seems weird, but trust me, it really is fun!  I also have a spot to remind me to do service, and another to put what my Weekly Focus is.  I have found that when I choose a focus for the week and see it written in my planner each day to be reminded of it, then that really helps make it come to pass.  I have a spot for what I need to buy when shopping (this is not a grocery list, but things other than groceries), a place for what I am preparing for dinner each day,  and a section for my house.  My house section won't make much sense unless you have read my blog post about my cleaning system here.  I didn't really elaborate about my system much, but there are some photos on the post of the cards I use to stay on task.  I was near 100% with that system for many years, but I have not kept it up as well as I want to lately.  Still, I wanted the system on my daily planner to remind me what I had scheduled.

Here is a photo of my daily planner week at a glance page.  ©

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Here is a photo of it copied in colorful paper and filled in:

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I decided I no longer wanted the Roles line and instead changed it to Power Hour on this one:©

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                                                       This is the one I currently use:

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I really am FINALLY happy with my system because it really does fit me personally.  I would challenge you to come up with specific things that you need on yours and adjust it accordingly.

One other thing that I have started to do is called The One Minute Rule.  Basically the rule is if I can do something in less than one minute, then I do it NOW.  I try to not allow myself to procrastinate if it can be done in less a minute.  I put away my shoes, hang up a coat, pick up clutter, toss junk mail, hang up my clothes, etc.  This has made a HUGE difference in my life.  All those little things that may seem like monumental tasks but really only take a minute or less, I just do them when I notice they need to be done. Not always, I'm human...but even if I do it only 50-75% of the time, it sure makes a huge difference.  It's amazing how many things only take a short amount of time but for some reason we just don't do them.  This little rule helps me stay on top of tasks that otherwise could get out of control.

I know learning time management skills are one of the most important things we can master while we are taking space up on this earth.  We have all been given limited time and no one knows when their time will be up.  If we can figure out how to best use the time we have been given, then we will be able to say we lived our lives to the fullest and did our best with the time we were given.

Off to my to-do list!  (yea I get to check writing this post off now!)  Squeal!
Happy planning!!!☺

CHORE WARS ~ PPP #1

Parenting Pointers Post #1 ~ Help for the frazzled mom!

One of my friends asked me to do a weekly parenting blurb and so from now on Wednesday's are going to be my Parenting Pointers Post. Not because I have it all figured out, OH NO, not even close... (is THAT even possible?) but because I have been a long time advocate of Dr. Glenn Latham and his parenting book The Power of Positive Parenting. It is THEE best book ever written on parenting (well, with the exception of the scriptures!) and I honestly believe if every parent read this book, the world would change because he bases his philosophy on focusing on the positive and so it is the PARENT that has to do the changing. It is also based on the scientific data of behavior and it works like magic! I will use his book to give hints and helps for the frazzled mom! Today's post however is not from his book. I had already started it but I will add some of his quotes at the end.


RESPONSIBILITY RECORDS * CHORE CHARTS * DAILY JOBS...aka CHORE WARS!

I know I am not alone when I say it is a CHORE for US to keep our children on task with THEIR tasks. And we don't even get stickers for doing it! Teaching kids responsibility has to be one of the hardest things we as mothers do. Due to my involvement with the great organization American Mothers, Inc.,(click for more info) I have had many opportunities to speak with other mothers across my state and even nation at times. And the one thing that is always at the top of the list when it comes to moms wanting help and solutions is TEACHING KIDS TO WORK. I have found the hardest thing in achieving success with this principle is the fact that each child is so different and what works for one won't always work for the others. There are a brazillion chore charts out there and ways of keeping track, and sometimes it takes trying out HALF a brazillion of those just to find the one that works best for you. And just when you do, it seems you arrive at the spot I am at now...KIDS are OLDER and VERY BUSY and have outside JOBS and LOTS OF FRIENDS and are GONE A LOT and basically don't have much TIME to accomplish all we expect them to do. But just because their time is decreased doesn't mean the work load is decreased. I have always been one of those moms that has to have a chore chart of some kind or a way of accountability for my boys. I have never believed in paying them for doing their household jobs because I feel that they are part of a family and need to help out just because of THAT reason. BUT, I also think they need to earn money somehow so they can learn how to manage money. My solution was to pay them for EXTRA jobs that needed to be done. I set a price and made a list and when they wanted or needed to earn some extra cash, they could pick one of those. I also decided to pay them for MARKING their chore charts (or Responsibility Records as we call them). The older they got, the more often they would forget to mark them even if they did the job. It was making more work for me because I had to constantly ask if they were done. I think just the act of marking them shows a great deal of responsibility. They could do all their jobs, but if they forgot to mark the chart, then they didn't get paid. This was a win-win for all, because it also gave them an incentive to remember to mark them and. I didn't always have to ask if they were done or not. I think one of the BEST reasons for having a chart of some kind is the simple reason that when they want those privileges, like playing with a friend, watching a movie, playing a video game, or computer time, and they come to me and ask if they can, I am able to simply answer back, "I don't know, can you? What does your chart say?" That way I am not the heavy. The chart is. And ultimately they learn that the answer rests solely on their shoulders. It has worked great for us. Just by simply letting the consequences do the talking. We sometimes tend to forget that consequences are good. When we let the consequence work for us, we are simply training our children to make right choices. When we nag or yell, we are not training our children, well maybe we are, but not in the way we want to! However, when we enforce a consequence, we train our child to make right choices. Now, I know this is easier said than done. I know firsthand it isn't a fast or easy process, it takes time, and lots of it! But eventually we will reap the benefits.

I feel like I have always had a pretty good handle on what my boys are required to do as their daily jobs. But recently things were just getting out of control it seemed. Their chores were not getting done and that left a bigger load on me. I know it was mostly my fault for not following through consistently and making sure things got done before they were allowed privileges. The current chart we were using lost it's umph I guess. I had been using it for years because it worked so well. But I also know you need to keep things fresh and continually find ways to motivate them. I really didn't want to switch my "system" but I finally relented after picking up umpteen pair of shoes and towels each and every day, and walking past their rooms (because I couldn't walk IN their rooms since there appeared to be no floor!) sighing as I closed the door again. I knew it was time for a change. I wasn't sure what to do because two of them are teenagers and think they are too mature for a job chart. That may have been part of the problem with the old system. They just thought they were too old. BUT, you are never too old for a job list! I still have one for myself! (see below) For my boys, I decided to adapt an idea I saw from my sister-in-law Cindi. (Thanks Cindi!) It is a magnet board with the chores listed on small magnets and it has a DO and a DONE side. When they have DONE the chore they slide it over on that side. Pretty simple and very visual for me as well as them. I made one up for my boys and this week we have been putting it to the test. I know you have to give these things at least two weeks to fully sink in and work out all the bugs. So far, so good. I also put it on my fridge where it is VERY noticeable and a constant reminder what needs to be done.

Is it easier at times to just close their bedroom door or do it yourself because it is so much faster? Yes! It may be easier but in the long run, it will be much more valuable if we have taken the time to teach them responsibility. In fact there are some startling results from the University of Minnesota where researchers studied a group of young men and women from the time they were young children. The study showed that young adults, who had participated in household chores when they were age 3 and 4, were more successful as adults than those who didn't. Specifically, these young adults were more likely to complete their education, get a good start on a career, develop adult relationships, and avoid the use of drugs. The early participation in household chores was deemed more important in their success than any other factor, including IQ! On the other hand, if children did not begin participating in household chores until they were teenagers, the experience seemed to backfire, and had a negative effect on their success as young adults, using those same measures. Our children have a strong need for a sense of belonging and want to be a productive member of our family. Giving them household responsibilities provides them with a huge boost in confidence. It says to them, "My parents think I am capable of doing this!" Any amount of effort on our part will only come back to reward US in the end. Tell me what works for you.

This is the system I used for years

They were charged maid service if I had to do their jobs.

The new system....

Closer view

They are UNPLUGGED from the computer, TV, Game boy, all video games, IPODS, and friends UNTIL they have them all on the DONE side.
This is something I did while my oldest was on his mission to motivate them to keep certain zones clean. It was kinda fun for a while.
Other incentives I have used:

Nintendo passes good for 15 min. of play time (these had to be earned)

Bed Bucks (they got these if they were the first one asleep each night)

Cooperation Station

This file also keeps jobs they "get" to do for not cooperating i.e. fighting with sibs, etc.

I wanted to stay positive, so it also had reward cards in it for when they did cooperate.

Un-cooperation jobs

Reward cards

"MY" household management cards

I have LOVED this system!  I have never found another one that works so well to keep me up on things that need to get done.  This system is totally personal for my house, but you can make your own and personalize it easily.

My weekly and daily jobs

My monthly and semi-annual jobs

I think I deserve some reward cards in here too! ☺
I would love to hear what system you use and how it works.

Research has shown that the most effective way to reduce problem behavior in children is to strengthen desirable behavior through positive reinforcement rather than trying to weaken undesirable behavior using aversive or negative processes. S.W. Bijou

• Behavior is strengthened or weakened by its consequences.
• Behavior ultimately responds better to positive consequences.
• Whether a behavior has been punished or reinforced is known only by the course of that behavior in the future.
• Behavior is largely a product of it's immediate environment.
  Click here for Dr. Lathams Parenting Prescription's website