~♥~Pennies From Heaven ~♥~

*This came up on my Facebook memories this week and I decided I should document it on my blog, so here ya go:

~♥~Pennies From Heaven ~♥~

September 24, 2011 at 12:35pm

Ever since Tyson passed away, I have had some very amazing experiences that has confirmed in my heart that he lives and watches over us.

One day, just a little while after he passed away, I was really missing him and expressed in my heart that I wished he could find a way to let me know he was around and still thinking of us. Immediately after, I looked down and found a shiny copper penny laying right before me. I wondered to myself if maybe, just maybe, this was a little gift from heaven via Tyson. I felt that it was, but once I read the date on the penny and saw it was 1988, I KNEW it was from him.

He was born in 1988.

I was sure he was smiling above with that sweet grin of his that won everyone's heart while saying, "There ya go Mom. Of course I am thinking about ya. Love ya Mom."

Since that day, I have had some of the most incredible experiences in finding pennies and other coins that I know are from him. Each day when I go out and run, I now look for coins. And nearly each day I find at least one. Not really significant on it's own I know, but what makes it so, is the fact that I usually run the same route each day and yet, I will find a coin in the most remote place that wasn't there the day before and no one could have possibly just dropped it, because not many people go where I run.

There have been many times when I am having a bad day and I will just say in my heart, "Tys buddy, if you are around today, can you just say hi." Within seconds (literally seconds), I will find a coin or in some cases, several coins along the way until I am home. I will find them when we go to some event after having just said, "Tyson sure would have loved this." I find them on family vacations in the most remotest of places. Other times, I will find them right in front of me.

One of the most amazing experiences I've had was when one day I was out running and really struggling with missing him. It had been a rough week. A really rough week. The entire route of my run I was hoping to find just one coin to comfort me and make me feel him near. Nothing. I kept searching. Nothing. I kept an eagle eye out for a coin, any coin. Nothing. Finally, I was nearing my home and feeling even worse that I hadn't found one on the day I most needed to. Just a few steps from my house, I saw something shiny in front of me. I was so hoping it was a shiny dime or quarter. As I got closer I could tell it was not a coin. My hopes dashed once again. As I approached it, I still wasn't sure what it was. I reached down to get a closer look and discovered it was a mini Snickers bar.

My heart skipped a beat.

Now that doesn't sound like anything miraculous to anyone else, but mini Snickers were Tyson's most favorite candy in the whole world.

Coincidence?

Maybe....

But to this mom, I knew it was my sweet angel boy in heaven sending his struggling mom a gift, a tender mercy, to comfort me and let me KNOW that he loves me dearly and is there.

I could go on and on with the stories and experiences I've had, but suffice it to say, I believe the coins I find nearly each day, are his way of letting me know he loves me and is still very close to our family.

Pennies From Heaven

When an Angel misses you,

they toss a penny down to let you know they care.

Never enough time to spend on earth,

but in our hearts they will always be there.

Love is never lost,

smiles never forgotten,

the memories are burned so deep.

We wish we could have kept you here forever.

but your soul is God's to keep.

So when you're sad,

tears falling to the ground,

you see a shimmer by your shoe,

Pick up that penny,

look to heaven and know

an Angel is watching over you!

By: Kirby Tracy

I collect them in this seashell box ↓ I got in Hawaii. Tyson LOVED Hawaii.

My collection has grown much larger than this now.

Sometimes they are worn and weathered...

...and sometimes they are shiny and bright.

But just the same, they are from a dear angel in heaven.♥

What I Know For Sure

As I was sitting in a waiting room last week at a wisdom teeth consult for my son McKay, I picked up Oprah's O Magazine and was thumbing through it.  I haven't ever really read her magazine cover to cover as far as the hard copy version, though I have read several articles from the online version.  As I was perusing it, I came across this page:

For some reason it inspired me to want to do my own What I Know For Sure post.  So welcome to the first edition of What I Know For Sure.  I may not have the audience, the know how, the circle of influential friends, and of course not the budget that Oprah has, but I do have my own life experience and I enjoy writing about those happenings.  I haven't yet decided if it will be a monthly, bi-monthly, or weekly post yet.  That may have to wait until I figure out if there is anything I really know for sure!  But for now, here is the first installment: 

Gratitude.

That one little word has had the biggest impact on my life in ways I can't even begin to explain.  

I have often said that gratitude is like magic.  It has the power to change your life.  It has the power to release pain.  It has the power to create happiness.  It has the power that I only wish I had known when I was much younger. 

My love – okay worship – for this word came shortly after I lost my 17 year old son Tyson nine years ago.  I mean I had always been taught to be grateful and I also taught my five boys that I expected them to be grateful for all they had.  We even kept a family gratitude journal and I kept many of my own personal gratitude journals.  But until I lost Tyson and was forced to deal with pain that I had never experienced before – the kind of pain that I didn't realize even existed until then – the kind of pain that brings you to your knees and makes you beg for relief – I had no clue how powerful gratitude really was.  

What I know for sure is that life is going to bring us all to a few of those on your knees kind of moments.  Those moments where you completely give in and tell Heavenly Father that you can't do this on your own and you have no idea how you are going to get through each day without some form of help.  Moments (sometimes hours, sometimes even days or weeks) when you desperately seek for relief of some kind and beg the heavens for an answer on how to find it.  No matter who you are, you will have those moments.  It's really why you are here.  To be tested.  And those tests are not for sissys. 

I have had many of those moments.  Most of mine have been since losing my precious son.  Though some were during that process of his long term illness before he passed.  Because of those moments (and there were many and sometimes there still are) I have a sure knowledge that no matter how bad we think things are, no matter how low we get, no matter how much we want our pain to go away, there is always a sure way to feel better.  Almost instantly. 

Gratitude.

Gratitude is the impetus that can make all the difference.  

But it isn't as simple as it sounds.  It is work.  Hard work.  It takes practice. But it is worth every effort and time given.  When we are able to stop and focus our thoughts towards seeking for what there is in our pain to be grateful for – IN THAT MOMENT –  the magic takes over.  

Then it becomes easy.  Once the magic takes over, the pain lessens.  Happiness arrives. 

There is always something we can find in any circumstance to be grateful for.  

Someday I believe scientists will find a formula, or some scientific reason how this magic works, but until they do, trust me on this one.☺

It's one thing I know for sure.

*Thoughtful Thursday*

 

I’m okay … but I’m not okay … and that’s okay. That is part of being human. - Mitchell's Journey

I follow Mitchell's Journey on Facebook which is a page where a father posts about his feelings and his grief of losing his son.  The above thought was posted yesterday.  It's really quite profound if you think about it.
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Now here's one that will make you think...

Oooh....now that is a tough one!  My immediate reaction is YES!  Of course!  But the more I think about it, I'm not so sure I would actually want to know ahead of time.  Life is so full of surprises (some we prefer not to have) that I just do not know if I would want to know the final ending right now or not.  Knowing me, I would tell myself no and that I won't read the end, but the longer the book sat there and consumed my mind, I am pretty sure I eventually would have to read it or at the very least, just peek. ☺

How about you???