Food 4 Thought Friday

GET YOUR APPETITE ON and PLAY ALONG! Just copy and paste the questions to your blog and PLEASE leave a comment that you played along so others can go and check out your answers. These are so much fun to go back and read later!

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Welcome to Beacon of Hope's:

Food 4 Thought Friday!

A little feast without the calories!!

Feel free to play along for some yummy fun! I will post a new one each Thursday night. JOIN IN!!!

Food 4 Thought Friday ~ This week's questions:
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   ~~~MOTHER'S DAY EDITION~~~

Breakfast ~ What name did you/do you call your mother?  If you are a mother, what do your children call you?
Lunch ~  What do you admire most about your own mother?
Dinner ~ Name a mother you admire more than any other mother (besides your own) and share why.
Midnight Snack ~ If you are a mother, name what you feel is the hardest part of being a mother for you.  If you are not a mother, name what you think is the hardest part of being a mother from observation.
Recipe of the Week ~ (instead of your recipe for life what is it just for the week?)  

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MY ANSWERS

Breakfast ~ What name did you/do you call your mother?  If you are a mother, what do your children call you? As a child I called my mom "MUM".  When I was a teenager and thought I was so "cool", I started to call her "Suzie" and my dad "Dean".  Now I just call her "Mom" and sometimes "Mammy" because that's what everyone else on the planet calls her.  Most of my boys call me "Mom", but Taylor calls me "Ma".

Lunch ~ What do you admire most about your own mother? The quality I have always admired most about my Mom is her unselfishness.  I have never met another person that gives to others as much as my Mom.  When she was working full time (and had to get up at 4:30 a.m. every day) she also went and took care of my cousin Shelley (her niece) who had Multiple Sclerosis and her four children nearly every single day and mostly all day on Saturday.  She cleaned, she cooked, she took them where they needed to be, she shopped, etc.  She did this for years and years, even after she retired.  And even when Shelley was in a care facility, she still visited her daily until Shelley passed away.  During this time she also took care of her mother-in-law and aunt-in-law for many years and would watch my boys WHENEVER I needed a babysitter.  I honestly don't know how she did it.  The sad thing is, I think she sacrificed her own health in the process because she is pretty frail right now, but I am sure it was worth it to her. I wish I was more like her that way.

Dinner ~ Name a mother you admire more than any other mother (besides your own) and share why. There are just so many!  Due to my involvement in American Mothers, I have been surrounded by the cream of the crop when it comes to motherhood and I have seen some of the most amazing stories and mothers.  I am going to list a few because I can't choose just one...Joan Erickson, Cecelia Benson, Claudia Goodman, Diane Weese, Lesa Stevenson, Jeneice Beckstrand, Wendy McKenna, Carole Stephens...okay I will stop or this list will never end! My own mother-in-law taught me many things and I admire her greatly.  Dave's sister Karen has raised her children in such a down to earth, open way and I love the relationship she has with her kids.  I have always noticed how other women mother and I find so many amazing mothers out there, all just doing their best and trying hard each day.  Motherhood is the hardest job on the planet.  And for that, and their efforts,  I admire EVERY mother!


Midnight Snack ~ If you are a mother, name what you feel is the hardest part of being a mother for you.  If you are not a mother, name what you think is the hardest part of being a mother from observation. When my boys were younger, I would have said something like potty training or getting them to do their job charts.  Now that I have nearly all adult boys, I have to say the hardest part for me is letting go. I often say that I should have had five more if I had known how fast my nest would empty!  Going along with that is sending them off on a two year church mission.  That is tough!  VERY tough!  (groan)  But the single most difficult thing I have ever done as a mother would have to be the day we closed my son Tyson's casket.  Nothing can or ever will compare to that.

 If you have ever sent out a missionary, this will turn on the waterworks!  Check it out.

Recipe of the Week ~ (instead of your recipe for life what is it just for the week?) Breathe.  Breathe is my recipe for the week.  I have had to just stop and BREATHE many times this week.  So many emotions that want to take me down and the only way out is to just simply breathe.  DEEPLY BREATHE.  It's amazing what a deep breath can do for stress and worry.

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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
to all you amazing mothers out there in bloggy land!

 

American Mothers Past Utah Mother's of the Year and Young Mother's of the Year

I have been involved with the wonderful organization American Mother's Inc. for almost 23 years now.  It was a huge part of my life as a young mother and it taught me so many things that I would have never learned had I not been a part of this amazing group.  The women I have been able to associate with through the years, have enriched and blessed my life more than words can say.

I started a local chapter here in my own community and then spent many years as a chapter President of that group. 10 years.  Yeah, I would say that would qualify as MANY years!  It was a lot of work, but it was my passion.  Our chapter here held a yearly mini conference that we called Summer Survival Camp for Mom and it was always a TON of work, but also a big hit in the community.  We usually had around 200 moms in attendance.  We also held monthly chapter meetings where we would meet to hear a speaker or share ideas or gather together for some much needed support from one another.  Sadly when I took over the job as the president of the state of Utah, my own chapter here wasn't sustained by the new president enough and it was too much for me to take back on once I was released as the state president due the passing of my son at that time and so it no longer exists.  I really beat myself up over that because I felt like it was also one of my children.  But, I also knew that my focus had to be solely on my family at that difficult time in our journey and I really feel it was out of my hands.  I do mourn the loss terribly still to this day though.  Motherhood is still my passion and I felt such a need to help other young mothers that were in the ranks as I was because as much as I do and always will love being a mother, there is NOTHING harder on the planet than being a great mom.  American Mothers (AMI) was so full of wonderful helps and amazing speakers and workshops and conventions and conferences, that were based solely on helping and supporting mothers everywhere.  I have no doubt is an inspired organization.   It is a national organization and completely non denominational and so it isn't based on any one religion, but it has a firm belief in God and supporting the moral values of society. 

Motherhood Elevated!

I have been fortunate enough for the past 20 years to belong to the amazing organization of American Mother's Inc. It is a national organization but very strong locally. This wonderful support group is the reason I survived medical school with three young and very active boys while trying to cope with what I called being a "single" mother. No disrespect to those of you who are truly single mothers, but those many years of having no husband around due to his marriage to the hospital and books were definitely challenging. I respect those of you who do it on your own on a daily basis. The local chapters I belonged to and organized were such life savers to me. From the monthly chapter meetings, listening to wonderful speakers, to the Summer Survival Camps for Mom we put on each year, AMI saved my sanity! Over the past 20 years I have been very involved locally, on the state level, as well as nationally. It feeds the passion I have for motherhood!

Our purpose is to be a dedicated force to strengthen the moral and spiritual foundations of the family and the home. We are an inter-faith, non-political, non-profit organization. We are the official sponsor of Mother's Day and founded the Mother of the Year award. The first National Mother of the Year was presented by Honorary Chairman, Sarah Delano Roosevelt in 1935 at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City. AMI has a rich history. For more information on that go HERE.
Sometimes that "Mother of the Year" title scares people away, because they somehow think that means we are an organization of "perfect" moms. Far from it! Those women which that title is bestowed upon are selected on the basis of being someone who could best represent their state to promote motherhood. We are an organization of moms helping moms be better moms! We are not trying to choose the best mom, because each mom IS the BEST mom for her child. No one knows better than a mother that there is no such thing as a perfect mom.

This year, I had the awesome privilege of being a member of the National Convention Planning Committee. The convention was being held in Salt Lake City this year, something which has not happened since 1994, the year I represented Utah as the Young Mother. Planning a convention of this magnitude takes a lot of organization and foresight and the women I got to work with were AMAZING! I want to be just like them when I grow up! We started to plan about a year and a half in advance and met monthly to make sure everything came off without a hitch. For the most part, it did. For the most part. haha Of course there were little glitches here and there, but for a convention of nearly 400 women, that is to be expected.

The amazing committee I got to serve on.

Top half: Helping at the registration desk. This was more fun than work!
Bottom half: We stuffed over 300 of these bags! And then re-stuffed them a few more times!

(In order to read captions, you may have to click to enlarge)

I was reunited with an old friend from 17 years ago when the convention was last held in Salt Lake. Sondra Anderson was serving as the Young Mother from the midwest somewhere, and I was representing Utah. We spent a lot of time together back then and haven't seen each other since, so it was fun to see her. I also got to see Linda Eyre again. I got to know her a bit when she spoke at our very first Summer Survival Camp for Mom. She represented Utah 30 years ago as the Young Mother. Her daughter Shawni was attending this year representing Arizona. Little did we know at the time this was taken that Shawni would be selected as the 2011 National Young Mother of the Year in a few days.

So grateful to good friends Julie and Brooke who would come and support me and help with greeting those registering. I think they had some fun while working! ☺













XANGO was one of our sponsors and so we had a supply of the stuff. It was bottled so pretty and we had some good laughs with those cool bottles!











Always a bustling hive of busy bees!




















Me and Cecelia with Don Aslett, my hero and author of Clutter's Last Stand and 48 OTHER books!
















With Emi D. Edgley (Utah's YMOY 2011), her mother Elaine Dalton, and Diane Weese.

















Sally Olsen (Utah MOY 2011), Linda Eyre, Shawni Eyre Pothier, Emi Dalton Edgley, Elaine Dalton, Diane Weese, moi.

We filled almost 100 of these balloons with helium and lived to tell about it. The convention theme was Motherhood Elevated and the theme for one of the lunches was UP with Motherhood. Luckily we didn't float away!

Governor Herbert welcomed mothers from across the nation to Utah and to our convention.












We had some awesome workshop presenters! The women that weren't from Utah really loved John Bytheway. Well, the women that were did too! He was so funny, he had tears rolling down some of their cheeks!













John Gray keynoted one of the banquets.













The Young Mother of the Year banquet where Shawni was announced here as the new National Young Mother. A big job, but she will be fabulous!














My Mom was able to attend on Saturday with me. Brooke and Julie came as well.


















It was held at Little America and of course the food was FABULOUS!




















Above with Linda Eyre and Shawni Pothier and their new book called "A Mother's Book of Secrets". If anyone has some good advice and secrets on motherhood, it's them. I think I have read every single one of Linda's books. My favorite was, "I Didn't Plan to Be a Witch!"
Bottom with Emi, Hilary Weeks, and Georgia.


At the GALA BANQUET



















Our table had some of the people I admire most.
With Susie and Marilou. Marilou was our committee chairman and I loved getting to know her! What an incredible example she is.
Dave and I


































With Sheri Dew. It was such an honor to meet her.


Click to enlarge


















Check out the cute cute bunnies! Our committee was in charge of decorating at most of the meals. It turned out beautiful.















After with Sister Sheri Dew and some of the National Committee.














I LOVE all of these women!!!!


















We are showing off our shoes and nylons that we had to borrow from each other due to forgetting them! Thank heavens for good friends!!!

This banquet was very high class. The Mother's of the Year were announced in a processional lighted candle ceremony. Sheri Dew was the keynote speaker and gave an outstanding talk. She was the only speaker at the convention that received a standing ovation. Ernestine Allen was named the new 2011 National Mother of the Year. She is from the Washington DC area.






















Dave snapped the photo on the right before I hid these roses for Ernestine (so passerbys wouldn't knock them over.) I WISH those were mine! I can always pretend!





















Two of my favorite women on the planet. Dave with Ruby Washington. She is an incredible woman. She was National Mother of the Year in 1993. She had three biological children, four adopted, and over 200 foster children! She is currently opening a home for un-wed mothers. What a remarkable woman. I have loved her since I met her at the 1994 convention. She really liked Dave. =)
And Cecelia. What a sweet, smart, funny, amazingly talented, and kind woman. She has to be one of my top 10 favorite people in the world. Love her!


With Ernestine Allen. The roses are now hers! hee-hee




















WE SURVIVED!!! We might not look like it, but we did! Break out the XANGO!!!!





















A special thank you to this man, to whom I am very grateful for allowing me to be such a big part of American Mothers. It has changed my life and I will forever be grateful for it and for him for holding down the fort while I was gone for three days in order to attend this convention. He also missed a big meeting in order to attend the banquet with me. It was sure fun having my own photographer there though. =) Over the past 20 years, he has been so supportive of all the talks, meetings, conferences, parades, time, expenses, mini- conferences (he helped set up for 10 years), and all the other wonderful things this organization has brought into my life. I am so grateful to be a mother, and if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be the mother of the five most wonderful sons on the planet. Thank you!

It was so exciting having the National Convention in my own neck of the woods. I for one left elevated! I know it won't happen again for probably another 17 or more years. But odds are, even then, I will STILL be involved and loving this wonderful organization! I can only hope!

Here are a few links to other stories about convention, inlcuding excerpts from Sheri Dew's talk. ENJOY! ***********************************************
Key Points from Sheri Dew's Speech at Saturday's Gala (where the National Mother of the Year, Ernestine Allen, was announced), titled: The Influence of Mothers
Insights with Jon Du Pre TV interview from BYU: Mothers of the Year

Utah's American Mother's Blog: AMI National Convention

LDS Living Magazine ~ LDS Women Among National Honored Nominees

Deseret News Article ~ Utah Hosts National Celebration of Motherhood

Deseret News Article ~ Latter-day Saint Named National Mother of the Year Posts from Andrea, State President of American Mothers in Texas:
Gems from the Mother of the Year Speeches

A few highlights from the Young Mother of the Year speeches:
Summary of Young Mother Speeches
Shawni Pothier's reaction to being announced as National Young Mother of the Year from her blog 71 Toes:
"My Weekend"
Shawni's 3 minute speech she gave at National convention
Shawni's Speech

Linda Eyre's article in Deseret News column about her daugher Shawni being named National Young Mother of the Year : "Whiney, Worried Child Becomes National Mother of the Year"

From the PR Web: American Mothers, Inc. Announces 2011 Executive Board, Mother and Young Mother of the Year

L O V E / H A T E Relationship

Happy Mother's Day to all us mom's who should have been air traffic controllers for grounding so often!!!


I absolutely LOVE being a mother!!! It is my passion! It is what I am and how I define myself. It is what I have always wanted to be and what I have devoted my life to. I have tried to be an advocate for mother's everywhere with my deep involvement in American Mother's Inc. for the past 19 years because I know how hard this job is and I want to provide strength and support to help mothers everywhere, BUT...

I admit I have a love/hate relationship with Mother's Day.

I love it because I am pretty much given the day off as far as fixing meals and cleaning.



I also love the wonderful cards and written messages I receive from my boys and Dave. I am a sucker for a card or letter. Words of affirmation is my love language. Those mean more to me than all of the chocolate or flowers in the world. I will always treasure the ones my boys made with their little hands when they were young, but now that they are growing up, the things they write to me mean so much and usually start the waterworks.


I love they way my boys used to make me breakfast in bed when they were little all by themselves. I love the way they now help Dave prepare a nice meal for me (usually a full blown turkey feast because that's my fave!) and how they take care of all the dishes.



I love the purple rose corsage Dave gives me each year with five purple roses representing each one of my boys.

I love the church talks that inspire me want to be a better mother without producing guilt. Those are often very hard to find on Mother's Day.


I love the bouquet of some kind of purple flowers Dave gives me. And I love that the lilacs are usually out in full bloom.
But I mostly love the dandelion bouquets I received when my boys were little.


I love the Idle Isle nut balls and chocolate covered almonds I get every year.


I love the other surprises I get that are different each year.


I love getting phone calls from Skyler if he isn't able to be here on Mother's Day because he is off working in some distant state. This year he is working in Texas for the summer and called me on his way to Texas this afternoon to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. I remember when he called home while serving a two year mission for our church and those were the greatest Mother's Day eva!



I love that I still have my own mother with me when so many of my friends no longer do. I am so grateful to her for all she has done for me and my family. I don't know what I would do without her! I am also so grateful for Dave's mom. She has taught me so many wonderful and valuable things that I will be forever grateful for!

I love standing up in church to receive a flower or plant in honor of Mother's Day. Well, I love the idea. Kind of. I would love it more if they gave out chocolate or something other than a plant that will eventually die under my care. I only love this tradition when they announce for ALL women to stand because all women are mothers in some way.

Most of all I LOVE the fact that I am the mother of the four most incredible sons on the planet...and one in heaven. I would do anything for those boys. I love them dearly. They are the most important thing in my world and I feel so blessed and honored that they call me Mom.




I decided hate is really too strong a word here so I will use "don't love".




I don't love the high expectations I have of this day.

I don't love thinking that I should be treated like a Queen in EVERY way on this one day a year. Hasn't happened yet, and it probably never will. I am not a Queen...I am a MOTHER and mother's must still mother and take care of all the little things that only a mother really can do. Thankfully, my expectations have come way down now. I am speaking mainly here of the drudgery side of motherhood. I never want a day off of the nurturing part.

I don't love that my boys aren't actually perfect angels for the entire 24 hour period and STILL rough house and wrestle on this day. You can often hear me say, "Can't you NOT wrestle (or punch or hit) for just ONE day?" That is usually after something has been broken. I have finally learned to appreciate the fact that they are usually doing it in fun and playing, not in anger or fighting and for that I am very grateful.


I don't love the way some most of the Mother's Day talks in church make me feel like the worst mother on the planet. In his book "All Moms Go to Heaven," Dean Hughes declares that instead of giving mothers flowers in church, we should give out solid chocolate statues of the mythical Ideal Mother so we can all bite her head off.

I don't love hearing about how other mother's are perfect when I know I am so not.

I don't love the fact that I compare my greatest weaknesses with other mothers greatest strengths so much more so on this day.



I don't love feeling judgmental against other mothers on this day...especially myself.

I don't love the fact that many women are feeling heartbroken on this day because they were not able to be a mother or they are mourning the loss of a child due to death or to them taking another path, or they are missing their own mother.

I don't love how much this day makes me miss my dear sweet Tyson and that I can't hug him or hear him tell me Happy Mother's Day.




I don't love the way we mother's are so hard on ourselves 356 days of the year anyway, but on Mother's Day we beat ourselves up even more.



Bottom line is Mother's Day is a great day set aside to honor our mothers. It is even a greater day when I can keep it all in perspective and just let it be what it is meant to be: A day to honor, thank, and pay tribute to that woman who sacrificed even her very life to bring us into the world. Thanks Mom! It's also a day to evaluate in a good way how we are doing as mothers and where we could use some improvement. The older I get the less I "don't love" it. Motherhood is the greatest and most noble calling and profession in this world and it does deserve a day set aside so we can all stop and really think about our mothers and how much we appreciate and love them.
But...
Wouldn't it be even better if we did that every single day instead of only just once a year?

“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? ~Elder Neal A. Maxwell

Sidenote:

I got a rather large surprise on Mother's Day this year. As I walked into church I learned my son Bryce was one of the main speakers for our sacrament meeting program. Him and his dad purposely kept it from me in order to surprise me I guess. I must say I was not prepared for what he said. He gave me the most amazing tribute a mother could ever ask for. He talked about so many of the things I did as a mom when he was much younger that I didn't even think he remembered, let alone had an impact on him. I was most amazed that he said that all the summer skill sessions I did in order to teach them life skills helped him so much. I was most grateful that our "kid dates" were as important to him as they were to me. Something I may have never known had he not given this talk. He also mentioned when him and his friends came over for lunch and how I made a big meal including side dishes and dessert. Isn't that what all mom's do? His whole talk was on how grateful he was for all I did for him as he gave example after example of things I had done. I have to admit it was rather embarrassing for me to be talked about like that in front of 300 other people! There was a time or two I wanted to crawl under the benches because he was going on and on about so many things that I felt like was attending my own funeral! It was one of those Mother's Day talks that I usually hate when it's anyone but my son giving it because those are the ones that always make me feel so inadequate. I have a whole new perspective on them now. If they are being given about you, it's extremely humbling and embarrassing! At least he teasingly said, "Okay, now I will read some quotes so all you other mothers out there will stop being jealous that you aren't as great as my Mom." He had me either laughing or crying. I was loving what he said because it meant so much to me that it meant so much to him. I just would have preferred the accolades in a more private setting. Especially when I had several people after tell me teasingly they wanted my autograph or felt like they should bow down to me. Ha ha. Hey, maybe I could make that Queen for a Day thing work after all. Most of the people told me how sweet and tender it was and what a wonderful talk he gave.

Motherhood is hard and he made me feel for a moment that what I tried so hard to do was maybe worth it after all and that maybe I wasn't the failure I sometimes thought I was. I think I needed that.

Thanks Bryce. You are an amazing son and I am honored to be your mother. Even if you did accidentally say in your talk, "My mother is extremely selfish", instead of "selfless". That's okay, maybe it was a Freudian slip. But it sure gave your brother McKay some serious comic relief for about 5 minutes. He could NOT stop laughing after you said that. He was laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his face.

My only wish now is that I can somehow live up to your tribute. I will try, I promise. Thank you for being my son and letting me be your mother. I am so grateful it was me who got to raise you, even if I did it imperfectly.

♥ I LOVE YOU BRYCE ...and SKYLER, TYSON, TAYLOR, and McKAY!!!♥

Photos from Mother's Day 2010
Me and my boys Taylor, Bryce, and McKay. Skyler was in Texas.

















Me and my man



























Boys playing football in Sunday clothes. Hmm....

At my Mom's house. The baby is Mya - my cousin Britt's cute baby!

Having fun with my Mom's funky dance costumes! My Mom is the coolest. She is taking tap dance lessons and is a group of women that go around and perform! I hope I am as spry as she is when I am her age! Go Mom!!!

Visit to Dave's parent's house

Happy Mother's Day to you all!