A Problem You Have or Have Had In the Past~ Day #25

Blog Challenge - Day 25

 ~A Problem You Have or Have Had In the Past~

Perfectionism

I never used to think perfectionism was a problem. I always thought it was one of my best traits.  But now that I focus less on it, I see what a problem it was for me.  I grew up hearing, "If something is worth doing, it's worth doing well."  In my mind that meant doing it perfectly well.  My Dad is a perfectionist and so I think I inherited some of those tendencies.  His garage is cleaner than most people's homes.  And his car's are always meticulously cared for.  You can eat right off of his car engines.  hey are that spotless!  I never quite reached that level, but I have always been a little OCD about things being in order and clean.  It can be a good thing.  At least when it comes to organization and cleanliness.  But it can also be a bad thing when it turns those things into the most important thing.  It took me a long time, but I think I am finding a balance.  In fact I worry I am heading the other way now.  haha

I was the type of person that if I had company coming for even a short visit, every thing in my house had to be spotless.  Down to the little grooves around the sink and every little detail in every room. I would spend hours and days cleaning if I had company coming for an extended period of time.  I would even clean my oven before my visiting teachers would come when I was first married.  My oven!  As if they were going to see inside my oven.  I also had high expectations of my boys and wanted their rooms to always be spotless.  I think that may be why I was given five of them.  I had to learn that some expectations are never going to be reached. haha

The lesson really sank in after my son Tyson passed away.  That taught me what is truly important in life.  I learned that some things are just not important.  The most important things in life are the time we spend with others.  If I am spending all my time cleaning my house and my oven, then that is time taken away from me that I could be doing something else like creating a memory with someone.  I realized that even if I spent six hours a day cleaning and scrubbing, my house would look great and I'd feel good about it, but it isn't going to last and it will have to be done again in a week or less. That is when it hit me that it's not worth the time taken away from me.  It is just NOT that important.  I still like a clean house.  For sure.  But I am not so crazy about everything being absolutely perfect anymore.  I have lowered my standards.  My time is spent much better doing other things.  Even if I am just reading or blogging.  At least something lasting comes from those things.  

I still value doing things well and I think it is very important to do your best. But I also think that not everything is worth doing perfectly.  Now my mantra is, "If something is just barely worth doing, then just barely do it."  There are a lot of things that can fall into that category.  

I also love the saying DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT!  I have to keep telling myself that when I start to get caught up in the perfectionistic thing again.

I will always be a perfectionist at heart.  I will always want my pantry organized and all the labels facing front.  I will always want everything in it's place.  I will always want a spotlessly clean house. But, if I don't all the time. That's okay.  I have accepted it and now when things are out of order, I don't get crazy about it.  I just let it go until I can get to it.  It's no longer a problem for me.  And for that I am grateful!

 

I just looked at my house after having an incredibly busy week, month, year, L I F E !... and I am pretty sure my perfectionism is gone!  (haha)