*Monday Memos*

*MONDAY MEMOS*

   

 (If pictures are too small, just click to enlarge) 
Weekly recap of my rather crazy, insane, but fun and rewarding life!

dear monday, 

It was so nice to not have to get up and head out the door by 7 a.m. this morning.  I kind of took it easy and just chilled for a bit. Carson came in my room by 7:30.  He wanted to watch Wreck It Ralph Breaks the Internet.  We watched part of it and then Dave brought us waffles and eggs with sausage.  Yummy.  I showered and then after he came back up and we finished watching it.  Cute show and cute kid.  Love that boy!

I went down and visited with Sky, Sarah, and Taylor.  Dave came home for lunch.  I would have loved to have just stayed in bed all day today.  I was super tired.  I guess with the radiation and the low Vitamin D levels, that's to be expected.  
Sarah has got this great gig going on her Instagram page, where she gets free products for posting pix on her site. This one was one of them for Beddies.  

She had a professional photographer take these.  They (Sky and her) bought this bed and refinished it and then added so many cute touches to it.  I actually made the valances. But it's such a cute space for Carson.  

He sure loves his pandas!

dear tuesday, 

Today was Day 14 of my radiation. We headed down with some bad roads due to a snowstorm but we made it okay.  

I used my crutches instead of a wheelchair while getting in and out today for the first time!  It was quite the celebration actually!  I have used them everywhere else but here because we are always in a rush so Dave can get back to work and the wheelchair makes it much more speedy.  But, he was off today and so I said I wanted to crutch it.

Everyone noticed and congratulated me.  Haha It was a long day at Huntsman today.  They did everything to get me prepared for my "boosts" which start on Thursday.  I technically have 15 days of radiation and 4 boosts, so 19 total.  But the boosts target only where the tumor was and I get high doses blasted there.  It took them an extra minutes to do that.  They drew on me and put stickers on me and did some x-rays and then the radiologist had to come in and give it her approval.  I am all marked up.  It looks like I have a football on there.  It's all very high tech.

 They told me to try to not wash it off or they will have to go through the whole procedure again.  Then they wheeled me to see Dr. Cannon but since it was a Tuesday I met with Dr. Hitchcock.  She was a nice Japanese lady.  Things are going well for the radiation.  After that I had an appointment with my oncologist Dr. Henry.  We waited for a good 45 minutes or maybe even longer.  Dave was getting ancy because he was supposed to be back seeing patients at 9:45 and it was already 9:15.  Luckily, Karen was picking me up today.  It was an important discussion with Dr. Henry about what to do about the endocrine therapy (the chemo pills I am supposed to take for 5-10 years) now that we know I have osteoporosis and low Vit D.  The one I have to take due to my blood clots weakens the bones.  I was thinking of not taking them because I really don't want weak (and then weaker) bones for the rest of my life.

 But when we discussed it and I found out that my chances of cancer returning are 20% if I don't take them, I was very concerned.  It goes down to 4-10% if I do. She was very thorough explaining things and basically the bottom line is that if I do osteoporosis medication then my bones could actually become stronger even on the aromatase inhibitor medicine.  She said that we could do a bone scan in one year and see how they are doing and if they are getting worse then we could switch to Tamoxifen even though that is not a good option considering the blood clot issue and a risk for uterine cancer.  Gotta love medicine...take one to prevent one thing while getting something else for taking it.  So frustrating.  But at least we have options.  

I felt at peace with doing it for a year and then see where we are.  I really don't want to take it though because it has a lot of other side effects that I don't want. 

But I am not sure I want to take the 20% risk.  If it was 4% or even 10% (the risk if I DO take it), I think I would feel better not taking it.  But cancer is the big player here.  I do NOT want to deal with it again.  Ultimately, when it comes down to it, I'm not sure I have a choice.  I value my life more than my bones.

Dave took off and I got dressed and then waited for Karen.  We headed to Kneaders but then decided to go to Cracker Barrel until we passed Black Bear Diner and then we decided to go there.  We went to the one on 12th Street.  I got an omelet and pancakes.  It was so yummy.  But I ended up taking most of it home.  I also had the fresh squeezed OJ.  We talked about a lot of things and even solved the world's problems.  LOL  We are both going through a lot right now and it was so nice to be able to chat.  We have always been each other's therapists.  Hah  Her life as a grandma (Weston's), Aubrey moving, etc. as well as my health issues made for a pretty long breakfast.  

She brought me home and Dave was home for lunch.  He wondered if we had been shopping. We told him no, just to breakfast.  He has a hard time understanding how it can take so long to eat.  Hehe  I did my PT and then rested a bit. Dave had meetings tonight.

dear wednesday, 

Today the roads were the worse they have been the entire time we have been going to radiation.  It was pretty scary. The semi's were the worse because it was so windy.  It was a parking lot for a while which I preferred because then it wasn't as dangerous because no one was going fast. We were 20 minutes late.  

Today was my LAST full radiation treatment. Day 15.  The next four are boosts and faster.  After I was done we headed to Sams.  Dave was off today. We shopped there for quite a while.  Then headed to Mickey D's in Farr West.  Dave also stopped at Arbies so I could get my picture by the bell since the Hunstman doesn't have a bell for radiation patients to ring, just chemo.  It was funny.  

We arrived home safe!  Dave wasn't ready when it was time for my PT and so I drove myself.  It felt normal.  He didn't come to PT today for the first time.  I have to say it feels nice to have some freedom back. Driving again is huge for me.  My PT went well.  It was pretty painful as always. No pain, no gain!  I walked in on only one crutch!  He wants me to get a cane.  That's pretty exciting.  Other than I will feel like an old granny.  Hah  I made a chocolate ecstasy for the Olsen's because it was BJ's angeIversary.  Dave had to really help me because I wasn't able to stand on my leg that long.  He handed me all the ingredients and was pretty much my assistant.  LOL 

I was beat tonight and went to bed about 7 pm.  It did feel good I must say.  I didn't sleep much during the night once I transferred to the bed though.  

I sure do love this little guy.  He has been my constant companion through all of this.  I notice when I am not home, he doesn't sleep in my room, but when I am, he is always right there.  It's so sweet.  Especially considering he has always kind of not given me the time of day (except for at 3 a.m.)  He has always preferred Dave over me.  He makes me feel loved. LOL

dear thursday, 

Today we had the best road conditions!  It was nice to have dry safe roads.  Today was the first day of my BOOST treatments.  It was supposed to go fast, but they had problems getting the machine lined up just right.  They finally had to take my arm mold off and trim it.  It all took an extra 20 minutes. The treatment is only about 25 seconds.  It targets just the where the tumor was.  The three techs are so nice and it has been a very pleasant experience.  They have never made me feel like a number.  
Bryce picked me up at the clinic because Dave was so late since the treatment took so much longer today.  We were going to drive both cars to clinic but the Escalade battery was dead.  We stopped at the cane place on the way home.  I ended up getting a purple cane!  I'm kind of excited to have one now!  

Carson loves to facetime me and we always end up being silly at some point.

I got Rinda (my Roomba) set up finally.  Then I cleaned out the desk cupboard.  It is nice to finally have some of my energy back.  I think having more freedom with my leg has made a world of difference.  I did my PT later than usual.  It's so funny how I am ready for bed by 7 or 8.  Tonight I actually stayed awake longer watching a movie, Romancing the Stone.  Taylor got a letter informing him he is on the wait list at Pacific Northwest University for Med School.  Not bad considering 4000 apply and they only accept 130.  Pretty proud of that boy.  He's not as excited as I am. 

dear friday, 

We headed out for Day 17 of my radiation. I drove the car to the clinic and Dave left the Escalade there.  This way he won't have to bring me home and won't be so late for work.  It's nice I can drive again!   It was a nice day and no snow!  I debated about using just one crutch today but using both is so much faster.  The desk ladies said that I am looking good.  Wait, until I show up on a cane.  LOL  I am not sure if I will do that or not. Only two more days!  I talked to a chemo nurse about the bell and she said that I could come and take a photo ringing it when I am finished.  Dave was rolling his eyes.  LOL  Radiation went well but we had to wait for the Dr. to arrive awhile.  Day 2 of the boost.  We were back on the road in good time.  I dropped him off at the clinic and decided to practice a bit on the freeway.  It was kind of scary, but I did okay.  I have Kendall's funeral tomorrow that I am planning on driving to.  I am kind of nervous because one time I did hit the gas when I meant to hit the brake.  I have to be careful not to use my left foot or that can happen.  :)

When I got home I was feeling really good.  I had enough energy to wash the windows that have been bugging me for two months.  WHAT!!???  Yep!!!  HUGE milestone there!  I did okay. I was actually walking some without the cane or crutch.  I dusted and put Old English on the coffee table.  I did the appliances and counters and got Rinda to work right.  I was feeling quite productive. Haha  Taylor arrived and then I had to go to PT.  There was Valet parking today!  Well, for parking but he was closing it down so I wouldn't get it on my way out.  Oh well. As I was walking in, I heard, "Jodi!"  It was Reina Olsen!  I haven't seen her in years.  She hasn't changed a bit.  She was with her mom.  It was so good to see her.  But I was 10 minutes late getting in PT. Then I ran into a lady in my stake who wanted to know how I was doing.  Physical Therapy has become my social hour.  LOL  Rob had me do the "Fun Station" today.  It was not fun.  Not like anything there is though.  

Unfortunately, my bend has not improved again.  He is worried if it continues to not improve then scar tissue is the issue.  The cure for that is not good.  I would have to have a manipulation.  Oh, please no!  They put you under and then they force it through the scar tissue while your asleep so you don't feel it by bending it and straightening it.  Holy cow!  NO THANK YOU! What if they went too far and broke it or tore something!  You can bet I am praying for another miracle!  Oh man. One of the cute ladies there that I talk to told me today she had to have hers manipulated.  But, it still isn't working right.  So that's not even a guarantee.  It seems I get my hopes up and then they get dashed. I can tell that Rob is concerned though.  And he is usually right.  Sigh...  I got this nice card in the mail today.  I have loved receiving sweet little cards, notes, gifts left on my porch, and I am going to be sad when it all stops.  Haha  I guess I should be happy when it does because that means I am better!  

 

I came home and cut Taylor's hair. I could tell I had overdone it today because my leg wasn't working as well as it was earlier and I even got dizzy.  That hasn't happened before. I then headed up to rest for the first time all day.  I am able to stay up on it longer and so that is huge.  It feels good to be able to do some of my normal things finally.  :) 10 weeks tomorrow! :) Wow!  
Love this:

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.

- Thich Nhat Hanh

dear saturday, 

Today it was nice to not have to get up before 6 a.m. for radiation.  I was supposed to be running a race (15 K at Saltair) for a race I won free entry to. I won free entry to an entire series of races this winter.  None of which I could participate in.  Had this injury not occurred, I would be running them all, breast cancer or not.  Well, unless my back disk wouldn't let me.  I got my PT done and then got ready for Kendall's funeral. Dave told me this a.m. that he was going to take me and go with me.  I argued against that because I want my independence back.  I was a little nervous about driving on the freeway, but I also know it's like getting back on the horse and I needed to be brave and get back on the road.  At least I wasn't driving a snowmobile!!!  Now THAT would be scary! ㋡  

Dave had to document the occasion LOL 

I felt like a normal person today!  

The drive to Ogden went well.  It was a bit nerve wracking a couple of times but I made it safely!  :)  I parked across the street from the Episcopal Church and so I had to walk across on my one crutch.  It was a little intense when cars started to come from both directions but I made it!  Bonzo was on the sidewalk and so I waited for her to catch up to me and we headed in the church together.  Diane Doer met us as we were going in.  She ran up and grabbed my arm and helped me in. She is so funny.  Lisa Hales and Michelle Lythgoe were already inside sitting down.  We joined them.  Then Chris and her hubby arrived and sat behind us.  The church had the most beautiful stain glassed windows.  They were incredible!  Incidentally, I run past that church each year when I run the Ogden Marathon.  I am not sure I have ever noticed the stained glassed windows before.  There were a lot of people in attendance.  Kendall's family was all there.  Her mother looked the same as did her sister Deon.  The service was nice.  Bonzo was concerned that the sacrament cup was shared by all.  She can be so funny.  We recited a few scriptures/prayers and then the speakers shared experiences of her.  It was nice. 

After we went to repast in the hall.  They had a buffet dinner set up.  We chatted to Deon and to Shauna and then we also saw an old Laker named Carla.  Her brother Bubba was our age.  We used to be scared of her.  Haha  She couldn't have been nicer today. 

Then one of our old school teachers (Mr. Lundstrom) from Bonneville was there as well.  Not sure why, but there he was.  We had to get a photo with him as well.  Carla is hiding behind me. LOL  

Everyone had to run off before we really had time to chat and visit.  I could tell Lisa would have liked to chat about the divorce she is going through.  I drove Bonzo to her car and I could tell she would have liked to chat about her current situation with one of her sons. I decided I am going to get the three of us together for lunch so we can all just chat about what we are all going through right now.  I was going to hit a couple little shops, but figured it was already too late and so headed home. :)  I did pretty well. I did reach over to pick up a piece of garbage and kind of went up on a curb.  Geeze.  That had nothing to do with the leg.  Maybe happened so I would be more alert!  Not sure how I could have been more so since I was already driving white knuckled!   I arrived home safely.  :) Sky, Sarah and Carson were at my house when I got home.  Carson was so excited to see me and immediately made me sit down so he could give me all the "presents" he made for me.  

I was pretty tired from a long day already but we had to go to a reception in Mantua for a boy that was in my SS class.  Carson came with us when we told him there would be treats there.  Haha  I wanted to give Sky and Sarah a little time alone.  It was more of a social event for me though because so many people came over to see how I was doing.  We were going to only be there for a quick 10 minutes tops and it turned into over an hour.  Carson was great though.  He loved the hot cocoa and donut holes.  

Everyone was so nice.  Most people only know about my leg and not the cancer. I would have thought it would be the other way around.  Seems like the news of cancer spreads like wildfire.  

I was pretty beat when we got home and just wanted to go to bed.  Carson joined me in my room and we watched a movie for a while until after 10 and I told him it was time for bed.   


dear sunday,

I slept in the chair last night because my leg was really hurting.  I think the PT is starting to really mess with something.  Not sure if that's good or bad.  But either way, it's hard to sleep.  For some reason it was easier on the chair and my back seemed fine.  Carson came up pretty early in the morning.  He was practically sleep walking, he was so tired. He snuggled with me for a bit and then I got in the shower.  We headed to church and McKay, Sky and Sarah joined us a bit later.  It was a really good meeting.  Sister Bailey and Sister Collins spoke on the Plan of Salvation.  I learned a lot.  Most of it I have heard before, but today it sunk in more maybe because of what I've been through lately.  Sister Collins talked about how angels are right here on this planet and how they are allowed to offer us aid when needed.  That I know to be true.  But it got me thinking about a lot of things.  Carson and I went to Primary.  The kids now sit wherever they want instead of with their classes.  I think that is probably a good change.  The teachers were in a development class and so the Bishopric taught.  It was so good to see my old Sunbeams. They are all so adorable.  

My new Sunbeams are every bit as cute.  Leisl was cracking me up.  She is darling. And Nora was also so stinkin' cute and sweet.  Her sister Bailey left for the meeting and so she was sad. I had her sit on my lap and then she was totally fine.  I feel so bad for them because their mom is also going through radiation for cancer and I don't think she is fairing super great.  So many problems in everyone's life.  I have learned even more so that everyone is dealing with some hard stuff at all times. Some times, it's heavy, other times, it's a bit lighter, but everyone is always dealing with something.  We came home and made personal pizzas.  Carson was pretty excited.  

We then played Guess Who and Jenga.  He is a riot.  

I laid down on the couch and he brought me a blanket and then ran upstairs and got the purple panda bear he gave me so I could snuggle it and then he kissed me.  He is the most tender hearted little thing ever!

McKay was home most of the day as well.  It was a nice relaxing Sunday.  I did have to go upstairs and take a rest though.  This radiation is starting to take it's toll on my energy. I even was able to fall asleep for about 45 minutes.  Carson came in a couple of times to check on me.  Hah   He finally came in and snuggled and we watched a movie.  Before it was over I did my PT. Sky and Sarah came up and talked to me for quite a while as well.  It's his birthday next Sunday.  Crazy to think I am going to be the mother of a 34 year old.  I still feel 34!  Maybe younger!  Hah  They headed home and I hit the hay. 

Carson got my physical therapy bands and did some strutting and movements on my bed. He cracks me up!

Ahh.....to be able to sleep like this animal would be heaven!

   Love our backyard friends.  They are so unafraid of us.

Supposedly this is the best banana bread recipe ever:

I will need to try it out and let you know if it really is.

dear quotes, 

I HOPE SO!

Memories....