When I got home, I made some steel cut oats and ate that while I read the newspaper, then I worked on my blog for a few minutes, checked my email, facebook, etc. I then took a shower and got ready for the day. I did three loads of laundry (that includes folding and putting away), deep cleaned the kitchen (microwave, under sink, counters, stove, sink, stainless appliances, scrubbed tile back-splash, etc), organized the baking center, organized cake decorating supplies, planted an Amaryllis, cleaned the pantry, cleaned the downstairs bathroom, cleaned up the playroom, put away stuff that Taylor mailed home, dusted the main level, put away items left in the mudroom, cleaned baseboards in mudroom, vacuumed the entire main level, mopped the entire main level, scrubbed the mudroom tile, organized papers in the office, put away a lot of stuff throughout the house, cleaned out bottom of entryway closet...and that's just what I can remember! I have a cleaning schedule that works really well when I stay on task with it, but the past few weeks I have slacked on it and so I felt that I needed to "catch up" on so many things.
There was a lot more, but the sad and depressing thing to me is I am SPENT! I am EXHAUSTED! I know if I stop, I won't be able to start again. And do you know all I can think of? The fact that I didn't clean out the fridge! And it needs it! I sat down to charge my phone and started to write this post and now I have to make a run to the store because I have a party tomorrow for my son Bryce's birthday and I need to make a cake. I also have to prepare my Sunday School lesson and work on a talk I am giving on Monday.
My point in writing this is not to pat myself on the back for all I got done today, but to wonder in sheer amazement HOW IN THE WORLD did I ever do this when I had five little boys running around my feet all the time? I honestly DO NOT understand that! And back then I worked even harder and got a ton more accomplished! And what I did today, was just a normal day back then. I also had to take care of five little boys needs throughout the day and still do all this. I don't remember feeling so spent and exhausted like I do now. Maybe back then that feeling was just a natural way I felt and so it wasn't like any big deal because I was always tired. But I know I had much more energy than I do now because even after cleaning my house all day, I still managed to do a lot of other things back then. Thankfully today Dave made dinner. Back then I would have had made three meals in between all that as well. Every. Single. Day.
Or is the running? I didn't run back then. Does the running sap a lot of my energy? I always feel like if I don't run then I don't have energy, not vica-versa. So who knows?
I know, I know...I AM getting older. Gee thanks for that reminder. haha But it still baffles me how I used to do it. I am in awe of my younger self and all the young moms that continue to do it on a daily basis and many of them are runners on top of it all too.
When did I get so tired? haha If every one of my days were like today I would not survive! Pretty sure I wouldn't. And that is what baffles me. Like I said, every day used to be just like today. And that is with the addition of five boys needing my attention 24-7 on top of it. I can assure you that I don't sit around eating bon-bons all day, in fact I feel like I am busier now than I was back then, but I don't have a lot to show for it. I know I don't spend as much time on cleaning as I used to, because I know as soon as I spend six hours cleaning my house, it will need to be done again in a day or two. Sometimes an hour or two! I have learned that my time is more valuable to me and I just prefer to spend that time doing something that will last a little longer. Yes, I do still clean my house regularly, but not as frequently as I did before. Which once again begs the question, "How did I do it?".
I know I must have been exhausted most of the time, but that is not what I remember. I remember always wanting to do more than I already was! I remember all the ideas I had and all the things I wanted to do with my boys, and all the other things I had going on the side, and still wanting to do even more. I remember really enjoying my boys when they were little, and honestly, even though it was tough, (and I DO remember that), I miss it terribly! I loved those days! I loved having my boys near me at all times and if they weren't right there, I knew where they were and what they were doing. What I don't remember is feeling as exhausted as I do today with only doing a fraction of what I used to do. I guess that's why we raise our little ones when we are young and when we have more energy and can handle all the demands.
I guess in many ways life is like training for a race. We progress in baby steps along the way, we improve, we keep working hard, and at our peak we are at our strongest and fastest. Then come race day, all that training comes into play and we are able to perform well because of our training. The closer we approach the finish line, the harder the race becomes. We start to get really tired, but we keep pushing through because we know the end is in sight and we give it all we've got even though it isn't as much as we had at the start of the race. Our focus becomes the finish line. Almost there, almost there. Then once we cross that finish line... we die.
Oh, by the way, I did end up doing a thorough cleaning of the fridge before I called it a day. So I bought me a little reward while grocery shopping....
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