*Monday Memos*

*MONDAY MEMOS*

   

 (If pictures are too small, just click to enlarge) 
Weekly recap of my rather crazy, insane, but fun and rewarding life!

dear monday, I got up bright and early about 5:30 and got right on the GB house. I had so many little details to finish up today.  I had to have it done by 1:30 so Dave could help me transport it to City Hall to be judged.  Yay!  It is finished!!! 

 Picture overload! (And from every angle!)   My computer is acting up BIG TIME and I am in fear I am going to lose all my pix before I get them backed up on to something else so I am adding them on here just in case.  My Amazon cloud is not working!  I love technology but sometimes I hate it.  *Apologies for duplicates.

The back

The lobsters are bigger than the sharks!  LOL They are the big kind, like Skyler's record breaker! 

It was a pretty smooth transport.  We got it there in one piece.  Whew!  Relief!  It turned out much better than I expected and I was very happy with it.  We left it there as the lone one because the time slot for delivery was between 4 and 5 p.m.  I wonder how many will enter this year.  

In the display case at Christmas Village↑ 

Here are the pictures of the other gingerbread house's entered in the contest. 

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw mine had made it inside the display in one piece!

In other news:

Mr. Buck stopped in for a visit:

And the turks were quite the sight!  I think I counted 27 of them!

I cleaned the kitchen since I had neglected it while I was creating the GB house.  I also ran to the store and grabbed stuff to make Cowboy Caviar (I am calling it Christmas Caviar for now) to take to the Packer's for our movie night.  It's really easy to make and very yummy!  I will post recipe below.  I had to meet Dave there because he was stuck at the clinic.  We watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  A great movie.  It was fun.  We chatted for a while after and had a very enjoyable evening as we always do over there.  

CHRISTMAS CAVIAR

1 can black beans (drain and rinse)

1 can black-eyed peas (drain and rinse)

1 can yellow corn (drain)

1 can white corn (drain)

1 can Rotel mild tomatoes 

(I used Western Family brand tomatoes with sweet onion)

1 green pepper cut up small

1 avocado cut up small

1/2 bottle Italian salad dressing (I used fat free)

Garlic if desired

Drain (and rinse) beans.  Drain corn.  Mix all together and serve with scoop chips.

dear tuesday, I went out west and got in three miles.  It was nice and peaceful out there.  Looked like they had a fire or a controlled burn.

When I got home, I hurried and showered and got right to putting up Christmas.  It wasn't as burdensome as I thought it would be and I got most of it up but Dave missed one of my totes.  

I made this one several years ago and it still has held up.  Mainly because the frame is out of particle board.  That's how all should be made!  JK ;)

I had an ortho appointment and it went well.  I checked out the display again, and they were all in there.  

I wonder when they will announce the winner. I came home and finished putting up Christmas. I got it done! Yay! 

Now, we just need to get a tree!  Not sure when because Dave's schedule is tight. My friend Beth text me and told me how amazing my GB House was. That was a huge compliment coming from her because she is a cake decorator extraordinaire and taught Home Ec for years. I asked her how she saw it and she told me she was a judge.  She said they had a lot more this year and the judging took a long time. She said mine was outstanding and perfect.  She said they have no idea who made them but after the judging was over she asked who made the lighthouse and they told her I did.  I wanted to ask her who won but I will be patient!  Hah

Mr. Cat got in another fight and so he is grounded. Maybe for life!  haha

I think this is his foe.  But I think Mr. Cat is the bully.  Scratcher's just wants to be friends.

I didn't want to take the chance of one of the boys letting him out and so this was posted on the door.  They were amused but I was serious.  I'm sure I will eventually let him out, but not until his new wounds heal.  That darn cat!

dear wednesday, I did my temple shift this morning. I had to snap this on my way in because it was so pretty decorated for Christmas.  Better in person.

We were swamped!  We were so busy the entire time I was there. I got to go in the Bride's Room again today and I love to do that. I love the people I work with. I showed them pictures of my GB House.  I headed to my harp lesson but it was a bit later today so I stopped at Winco and got the candy for my candy jars.  My lesson was pretty short because we got talking and then Tracy text me and so I had to head to meet her.  She picked me up in Arbies parking lot and we headed to the South Town Expo.  I was so excited because I haven't been to the Festival of Trees for a long time.  First order of business was to sit on Santa's lap!

I wasn't sure where I would be hosting but I actually got to request to be in the Gingerbread House Lane!  I was so excited!  

 This one was of course, my fave!  It blew mine out of the water.  No pun intended.  hehe  I studied it for a long time and got some great ideas.  I loved the windows were clear.  Still trying to figure out how she did that.  Beautiful! 

I was blown away by some of them. They were unbelievable! I took so many pictures!  Some for inspiration but others because I was in awe.  

Seriously in awe!  I had so much fun.  But I was starving!  I had been up since before 4 a.m and hadn't eaten.  They gave me a break about 3:00 and Angie S. gave me a card for a free scone.  She talked to me about being on the committee or on the board and told me I would be perfect for it.  I seriously considered it until I heard it is basically full time volunteer work for about six months.  Not my season.  I got Tracy and her daughters one too.  I had to get back to my shift and the lady that made the train station was there talking to the committee lady.  I found out it sold for $2000!  It was a masterpiece!  Amazing!  I asked for her number and if she would give me her gingerbread recipe because it was so smooth and perfect. She was so humble about her house.  She was about 73 years old.  Classiest little lady ever.  Tracy and I met at the Elf Emporium and as I was looking around Jana came up to me and gave me a big hug!  It was so fun to see her.  

She was also hosting.  We chatted for a long time and she showed us some fun things to buy.  We even went in the back to look around.  So fun.  

We got some fun things.  Then we looked at a few of the trees, quilts, nativities, and other things.  We didn't get to see them all.  

We went to the other gift shop and the sweet shoppe.  We were both starving and so we headed out. We saw some ballroom dancers practicing in the hall.  

We grabbed a Crown Burger protein style and ate it on the way home. It was so yummy.  It was really raining hard and by they time I got in my own car  it started to snow.  Sky and crew were here when I got home. They needed to finish their Christmas projects and so they spent the night.  Carson went to bed right after I got home.  I was SO tired!

A blast from the past.  This is Tyson's tree we did in 2006.  

dear thursday, today was not a good day.  I am grateful I can't say that very often.  I had two appointments at the U of U in Farmington.  My first was a pelvic ultrasound (that was fun...not) and the second was a diagnostic mammogram to check out my lump.  I really wasn't too nervous.  The pelvic exam wasn't too bad but I went straight to the mammo after and that was much more fun!  Hah  After the mammo, I had an ultrasound on it.  However, it was bad news.  The shape of the lump is very worrisome.  It's better if it's smooth and this one was not. Plus it's 1.7 centimeters which is also worrisome and the placement of it is also not a good sign. However, my lymph nodes look good and so that is very good news.  The radiologist came in and talked to me about it but it's all a blur now. The PA told me that they wanted to do a biopsy right then.  I was trying to hold it together but that is not something I expected to hear.  I could have breast cancer.  Not only could I, but it looks like I do.  My head was spinning.  I had to really try hard to keep it all in and stay positive.   I had a hard time getting a hold of Dave to send a Dr. order for the biopsy.  I finally did but then the fax wouldn't come through.  It finally did.  Dave felt so bad he wasn't able to be there with me through all this.  I lost it for a second on the phone and couldn't even talk, but finally was able to tell him the bad news.  He was concerned.  The PA did the biopsy and the radiologist watched.  It was painful. She took about five tissue samples.  The 4th one was bad.  She apologized to me and said it got a pretty good size chunk of tissue. I think it was so large that when it pulled it through, it tore through my skin because it hurt and they had numbed it, but HOLY!  It was not fun.  They also had to place a titanium chip inside so they could find where they biopsied later.  I was so glad when that was over until they told me they had to do another mammo to make sure everything was placed right.  Definitely not a party.  I was so happy when they were done.  But I was pretty emotionally spinning with all of that thrown at me at once.  I was not expecting that news.  Not. At. All.  I got to my car and decided I needed a little cry, but I kept it in and just drove away and tried to finish the errands I needed to do while down south.  I walked around the stores and wasn't sure what to think.  I tried to be extra kind towards everyone today. I figure everyone is going through something hard.  I cut my errands short because I just couldn't focus.  I just wanted to be home.

The pathology report won't be back for a few days.  I called Dave.  He still felt bad he wasn't there.  If I had known all that was going to happen, I would have wanted him there, but I had no idea.  I called my Mom and found out my Aunt Dixie also had the same thing done but she just had to have it removed and then had radiation.  Praying. Praying. Praying.  When I got home Dave gave me a blessing.  He said he is very concerned due to the size, shape, and where it's at.  Great.  I kept asking him questions about if it is and he just said we will cross that bridge when we come to it.  Yes, we will.  He was going to miss dart night so I wasn't alone tonight, but I actually wanted to be so I could process things a bit.  I am so grateful that HF blessed me to go to lunch with Colleen a few weeks ago because she recommended that day that I get my mammo at the U of U in Farmington where I did and it in the end will make all the difference I am convinced. There have been so many tender mercies already.

dear friday, I had a tender mercy this morning.  There was a package sitting on my desk and so I opened it and found the book I had ordered three weeks ago to use when I spoke at Lori's ward.  It was a Dr. Suess book titled Do You Know How Lucky You Are?  Yeah.  Coincidence that it came now instead of when it was supposed to? I don't think so.  I read it.  And to confirm it was a message to me driectly from heaven, on one of the pages it talked about crossing your T's and dotting your I's which is exactly what the PA told me yesterday as she was leaving after the biopsy.  That confirmed it even more.  

Today I woke up exhausted. I think it was mostly mental. I didn't go out on a walk even though I probably could have, but the nurse said no working out.  I rested for a bit and then got right to work on Christmas.  I am feeling a panic because things might change drastically this coming week and I won't be able to do any Christmas.  I feel an urgency to get it done.  I worked hard all day and got everything I could wrapped and organized.  What a mess it was before it was done.  I am glad I have so much done already.  Tender mercy.  But it was exhausting.  I am feeling more tired than usual.  I think the mental and emotional part of this is causing that.  It's a lot like how you feel when you are grieving, and I guess in a way I am.  I am grieving my normal life I had planned and all the things I planned on doing and now I don't have the luxury of planning because I don't know what the future holds.  I had some hard moments today.  This is a difficult thing to process.  And yes, I was even feeling a little picked on.  First my back and now this.  

On a good note, I got this in the mail today:

I won!  No idea WHAT I won yet, but I won!  And my scores were 100%!  Woo-Hoo.  Pretty exciting!

Kathryn H. was so sweet and brought over hot split pea soup and pears.  We were supposed to go to the temple with them tonight, but I just wasn't feeling well enough.  So, she brought us soup.  She had to be inspired because she had no idea what was really going on.  Some people amaze me.  It was so good too.  

Dave didn't get home until 8:30 tonight!  And he wasn't even on call.  He is so swamped.  He had a hard day too.  He told me he got the ultrasound report and it doesn't look good.  He is pretty convinced it's the C word.  I hate to even write it.  

I feel like this is a dream...more like a nightmare and I am going to wake up and everything will be back to normal.  I kept saying to myself, "Is this really happening?"  Life can turn on a dime.  One day everything is fine and normal and the next, it's in a completely different realm.   I do not like this.  

But, I still continue to receive tender mercies.  I have been so blessed to get great texts from Colleen (as well as great talk links) and Dawn also sent me some uplifting things I needed.  It was a rough day.  But I wonder if because I like a challenge - that  in the pre-existence I was up there saying, "Yeah, I can do that!  And I can do that too! I'm totally up for that as well!"  Someone should have smacked me on the head!  Maybe they did but of course, I wouldn't have felt it.  LOL  I keep hearing from friends that this is something that I probably volunteered for and it will be for the benefit of others because I will inspire them and they will learn and be influenced by how I handle it. Not sure I like that pressure.  My attitude now is that I can not do anything about it now, it is what it is and so the only thing I can control is my attitude and how I deal with it.  I must stay positive even though that is very hard.  I think it will make all the difference.  

I am going to copy and paste what another friend wrote because I am going to need it in the upcoming weeks and months and I don't want to lose it because it was so kind. Not saying it is true (in fact it's NOT),  but it is kind and helped me feel much better about things.  It's amazing the effect others can have on you when you are in need. 
Of all the people I know or have ever met, you really are a rock! And I can see you dealing with this like it is nothing! Even though it won’t be, you won’t let anyone know the truth. But you will conquer it, you will come back even stronger and now you will have ANOTHER trial that you will write about and share with people in many more talks throughout a long life still!!! Honestly. I believe that. It’s extremely rare but every once in a while Heavenly Father finds someone who can do this. Someone who takes trials and challenges and turns them into blessings! Someone who understands it and uses it to bless others! YOU are one of those individuals. I think you volunteered for this! But think about it. Who has the talent and skills to take those things and turn them into lessons and messages for others? In a way that is so impacting!!!!!! YOU. ONLY YOU! Most people couldn’t do it. They couldn’t take it and they certainty don’t have your gift of sharing it. When you do you help people feel it. They understand. They actually live it without going through it. There must be some lesson there. I don’t know but I do know that YOU are the messenger.  When I tell you that you amaze me, I don’t say that lightly! You really do! There’s something different and special about you! 

dear saturday, 

It was a  bit of a rough night sleep wise. I finally just got up at 3 a.m. and got on the computer to do some research. I should have stayed in bed.  The internet is a great thing but it can also be depressing.  I learned some things about this new un-welcome visitor in my body that I kind of wish I hadn't.  I headed back to bed around 4:30 and luckily fell back to sleep for a couple hours. This is going to take some time to process.  

I shared it with two of my close friends today and I decided I would not go to the Brigham Home Show today but instead use the time to go get a tree since Dave was off.  I thought we could get down and back fast, but it ended up taking a good 5 hours.  We did some shopping as well.  

I ran into my blogging friend Nancy at Winco!  I am glad she saw me because I was so in focus to find the stuff we were looking for! She is a cutie! 
We had to go to Layton for the tree because the one in Ogden didn't have any good tall ones.  

I had to add this picture below even though I would have deleted it, but I needed the laugh!  It looks like I am about to wee-wee my pants!  LOL  Sorry, but I am in need of some humor!

 We stopped at several places along the way....Winco, Shopko, Joanns, Target, Sams, Deseret Book, and one or two more.  We got the neighborhood gift bought and that is a relief.  We got some gifts bought but not as many as I hoped.  The lines were so long everywhere we went! ↓  

I am about 75% done I would guess.  And I am very grateful for that since I have no idea what this next week or two will bring, but most likely it won't be any Christmas stuff.  Mainly recovery I am betting.  

Julie sent me this quote in a text:

And interestingly enough I posted the exact quote on my FB page this morning.  I guess HF is trying to tell me something.  

We stopped at one of Dave's patient's whose home was in the home show so I could see all her miniatures.  I have had a passion for miniatures for years.  I have quite a collection in my basement I started in St. Louis.  Her display was amazing!

 Look at the harp in the music room pix! 

I was admiring her Gingerbread houses and she gave Dave one to give to me. 

She told me Dave saved her life, literally. She told me the story, and he really did through is medical care.  She would not be here if it wasn't for him. Saw this guy on Main Street on the way home!  

We had to rush home to get ready for the hospital Christmas party and as we pulled up our street our house was lit up!  Taylor was out on a ladder putting up Christmas lights!  What a guy!  He is amazing.  When I walked in there was a box of cookies from Crumbl as well that he brought to me.  We are so blessed to have him.  Dave wasn't sure when he was ever going to get to it.  Now, I want Tyson's palm tree up because tomorrow is his Angelversary.  13 years. Wow. 

The party was at the golf course and it was catered by Iron Gate Grill.  They never disappoint.  We chatted with Richard's wife for a while and then the new orthopedic doc and then sat by Sumko's, Dr. Bailey, the new doc, and Annie. We had lots of laughs. There was no entertainment this year and I was bummed but it ended up being nice because we were able to chat and get to know everyone better.  Sumko's are retiring. Sad. They head for Tonga in March for a medical mission.  Dr. Lewis already retired.  Next year, we will be the oldies!  Haha

It was nice to get away where I didn't have to think about my new reality.

dear sunday, today is Tyson's 13th year Angelversary.  That is so hard to believe.  13 years?  He would be 30!  Here is my social media post:  
My heart is full as we mark the 13th Angelversary of our beloved son Tyson. Heaven always feel closer on this day. Today in honor of his happy, humorous, and fun personality, I am choosing to focus on all the joy and laughter he brought in our lives. This kid was one in a million and even through all his trials and suffering, he was ALWAYS full of JOY and GRATITUDE. Each night before he went to bed, he came in my room and asked me if there was anything "I" needed even though he was the one not feeling well. He never focused on his own pain and suffering, but always turned outward in service and kindness to others. This week has brought some unexpected trials of my own and I am grateful for his example as I try to endure as he did. 
😇In honor of Tyson, I would challenge each of you as you go about your day today, to stop and remember that life is short and to CHERISH THE MOMENTS and hug those you love a little tighter. Each day is a gift! And also, please do an act of service in his name today to make the world a little brighter as he did each and every day to those around him! #LightTheWorld
I ♥ and miss you bud. I hope you are hanging from some heavenly palm tree 🌴 today providing entertainment for those above. ♥ Keep 'em laughing in heaven! _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡̡ FOREVER in our hearts...never forgotten. 🏝🌴🏝#familiesareforever #LightTheWorld #missingyou😇 #cherishthemoments

I got up early and worked on my lesson.  When Dave got home I gathered the boys (Bryce was actually here) and told them I needed to talk to them.  Not sure what they were thinking I was going to say but I dropped the bomb and told them what is going on.  I could tell it was hard news for them. McKay shed a few tears. He is so tender hearted.  We talked for quite a while.  

I found this on my doorstep from my friend Karen.  People are just so nice!  

I finished up my lesson and then headed for church.  It was fast and testimony meeting.  As I walked in the building I though to myself, "Do not bear your testimony because it is a much too emotional day and it will not go well."  But the second I stepped inside, my heart started to pound hard.  I have learned that is a definite sign that I am supposed to bear it.  I sat in the back by the Coleman's and McKay.  As soon as Bro. Packer was done, I bolted up.  I couldn't take the pounding and I thought I was going to have a heart attack if I didn't get relief.  And bearing it was the only way to do that.  I talked about how 13 years ago this week I stood at the same pulpit and bore my testimony a couple days after our son Tyson passed away.  I wanted to use the quote, "Life isn't always fair and sometimes you get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow."

But, I totally botched it up big time and said something that didn't even make sense.  Hopefully, the rest of it did.  I talked about how everyone in that room was going through a hard trial and that is part of life.  I talked about how Tyson was such a good example of being positive and was more concerned for others even when he was not feeling well.  I talked about how this week we are also going through an unexpected one and how it is one of those splinters.  I really am not sure what I said but I know when I sat down, I felt like I totally blew it.  Luckily, I had several people tell me they needed it and I even got a nice text from Troy telling me he couldn't stop thinking about my words.  I think I talked a lot about trials and how we need to stay positive through them. I told the story of how I opened the package and the book inside was, "Do You Know How Lucky You Are?"  We are blessed even when we are going through things.  I am not sure what I said.  I just pray it helped someone.  I always question myself after I sit down because I guess the spirit carries it and it seems I have no control over what I am saying.  I talked to Bonnie after for quite a while. She was so kind and told me that I amaze her and that if anyone can beat this it is me.  She said I am one of the strongest people she knows and I will sail through this.  I am not sure about that.  Primary was good.  The kids were wound up today though.  My lesson went well, it was on scriptures.  I had them check some out from the library and they loved that.  They couldn't put them down. They were cute.  I love my Sunbeams. 

I gave them all an advent nativity calendar for Christmas a bit early. They loved it!
Bonnie also gave me a gift for Tyson's Angelversary.  I opened it when I got home.  How cute is that?

Before we had dinner, Jen stopped by and brought me a nice card.  We had a nice chat about life and things and she gave me a very tight and much needed hug.  She is a good friend and I am grateful for her and for her example.  I am not sure what I would do without my good friends.  I have had so many that are concerned and I have been getting so many texts from them all....Colleen has sent me several talks to listen to and Dawn has sent me positive thoughts.  Robin, Julie, Bonnie, and a few others have sent me uplifting things and tell me I am going to beat this. I found this from my 49th birthday while in my room while cleaning.  I honestly don't even remember this.  I think we put them on balloons. This was all Brooke.  She is the kindest woman. Talk about timing:

Dinner was good. It was just us and McKay.  We watched the First Presidency's Christmas Devotional together and then Audrey stopped by with the traditional Chocolate Ecstasy.  Mmmm.......

Dave had to go to a meeting and McKay stayed by me and wanted to chat.  We talked for a couple of hours about how Dave and I met, about our first date, about our engagement.  We also talked about how I went to church alone when I was a teenager because my parents weren't active.  It was nice. We talked about Tyson when he was born and when he was sick.  He mentioned that it must have been hard to have other kids after having two sick ones.  I told him it really wasn't because Bryce was a surprise and him and Taylor we really weren't in fear.  We talked about a lot of other things.  He is such a great kid.  I really enjoyed it.  We need to do that more often.  It's surprising the things my boys don't know about my past life as well as Dave's.  We got quite a bit of snow tonight!  It is so pretty.  

dear random, I got these cute pix off of FB and had to post.  These little's adore him and they are so cute.  He is so sweet to them as well.  

dear positives, I am making a conscience effort to focus on the positive through this.  I firmly believe there is great power in our minds and I believe it can make all the difference.  So, I am going to start listing the positive things that have happened each week. Here goes:

• I am determined.  That will help me immensely deal with this.
• I am a fighter.  I do NOT give up easily.  Big bonus. 
• I have faith all will be well.
• Even though I have cancer, I also have a fit and healthy body.  It will be a benefit to me as I go through this.  I am very grateful for my body.  
• I have an AMAZING support group!  Friends, family, church family, and even strangers!
• I got my Christmas up with ease this year.
• A dear friend brought in dinner on a night I really needed it. At least my body did.
• The tender mercy of the book DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE arriving late so I could get it at the perfect time when I needed it most.
• I am strong...mostly minded!  ;)
• The timing of this.  At first I was not happy this was happening during Christmas, but now I am grateful because there is so much more JOY during this season and it helps lift my spirits greatly.  Also, even though it landed back to back with my back, that was a benefit because it made my back issues seem much less important and not being able to run even less important than that.  It helped with my perspective of it all. As well as falling the week of Tyson's Angelversary. At first I was feeling a bit picked on, but now I realize it was more than perfectly planned because I felt Tyson so much closer that week.  
• My Christmas shopping is almost done which isn't usually the case this early.
• Christmas will be simplified this year - something I have been trying to do for a long time.  
• Amazing friends sending me uplifting messages every single day!  
• A very supportive husband who understands what is happening and can help me understand. I am so blessed he is a doctor, not to mention a great cook!
• Modern technology.  It has come so far and I will benefit from that.
• Great sons.  They are so loving and supportive.  I feel so blessed by each of them every day.  Definitely my greatest blessings.
• Having three littles in my life who truly bring me joy just when they are in my presence.  There is nothing to bring joy like little children.
• People in my life who I could call on at the drop of a hat and they would be right there.
• Learning how loving and kind people are.
• A wake up call that life truly is very short and I need to get a move on with all the things I still want to do.
• My ability to handle pain much better than when I was younger. I believe running has helped teach me that.  
• Having run many marathons.  I have learned SO much from those that will serve me well as I go through this. 
• The fact that I already was able to run Boston twice.  That is one of my greatest blessings.
• I had so many fun things and parties this week.  
• I finally made a gingerbread house to enter in the city contest this year!
• I WON the gingerbread contest!   

The list could honestly go on and on and on....