*Monday Memos*

*MONDAY MEMOS*

   

 (If pictures are too small, just click to enlarge) 
Weekly recap of my rather crazy, insane, but fun and rewarding life!

dear monday, today was a nice day and I can feel spring in the air!  I can't wait!  I LOVE SPRING!  I didn't get in the shower until in the afternoon.  I have been struggling with this ankle thing.  I spent a lot of time this morning in prayer, scripture reading, and journaling.  Then a book I ordered for McKay's birthday came and I started reading it.  It's called Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins. I am not sure I recommend it because it has way too many swear words in it. His message is good, but it's hard to read with that language. I am not sure if I will even give it to him.  It is so unnecessary and the story doesn't need the extra profanity to make it good.  It's very disappointing.  It is a true story of a Navy Seal guy who conquered so many physical feats....ultra marathons (even won the Badwater), he broke the world record on pull-ups, he won the Iron Man, etc.  He is incredible and he even ran with broken bones in his shins at one point. He is crazy tough.  His message is to overcome the mind and conquer the body with the mind.  But honestly, I think he has a screw or two lose!  So...I am going through it and blackening out the profanity.  Some pages have 8-10 words on it.  And by profanity, I mean the worse one in the book.  My boys are making fun of me for doing that, but if I am not gifting a book with that word in it over and over.   I ran over to visit Betsy (our neighbor for years who moved) because she is having surgery tomorrow. I took her some Twix bars only to remember she doesn't eat sugar.  Oops.  Maybe Don will eat them, but she prob won't let him either. She told me I need to stop sugar as well because it feeds cancer.  I told her that I would be a miserable person if I couldn't have sugar. Haha  She was happy to see me and we had a nice visit.   These guys have become like pets this year.....

As soon as they see Dave they come running because he gives them apples. 

dear tuesday, today was a big day.  I had my appointment at the TOSH with the knee specialist, Dr. Holmstorm.  I prayed very hard that I would get good news for a change because I am not sure I could take another big blow right now.  

We headed out at 9 a.m., arrived at 10 a.m. My appt. was at 10:10 a.m. and we got in the room about 10:35 ish. I got taken back for X-rays (took about 20 minutes) and then we waited until about 12:10 for the Dr. to come in.  We were there for two hours BEFORE we even saw him.  

Impatiently waiting!

But, it was worth it because I did get GOOD NEWS!  My knee is going to be okay!  Whew!  WHAT A RELIEF!!!  NO surgery required.  He examined it and explained a lot of what has been going on with it and said that a bone bruise can take almost a full year to heal and that the other can take 6 months to a year.  He drew a diagram to show how things deteriorate over time. He said, mine is okay, but 10 years down the road maybe not so great.

He said the encouraging thing is that it is progressing. Apparently, the reason the fibula broke is because my foot stayed in one place and my ankle twisted something awful and that basically screwed everything else up.  That is why the bone broke because all of those ligaments etc. got torn so hard. It wasn't due to being crushed but because of how hard it twisted.  Ouch!  He showed me an exercise he wants me to do every hour all day long. It is basically extending my leg out and pushing very hard down by my knee until my hamstring is forced to relax.  Dave told me to do that in the beginning of all this as well.  I really liked Dr. Holmstorm.  He had a great bedside manner.  He was positive and upbeat and I needed that today.  He explained that if my ankle does recover and I start to get back to running that I have to do it VERY slowly.  So slowly, in fact it might take up to a full year before I can run where I was before.  He said for every 5 minutes, I have to walk 4 minutes and run 1 minute.  He said I would have to do that for a month or so and then increase it only 10% a week.  He said it will be slow, but with my injury it is imperative I do that.  I felt okay with that.  He also told me my good knee that I have been so worried about because it has become SO painful and has given out on me several times due to being forced to over compensate, will be okay as well.  I felt so relieved!  Overall, it was a great relief in so many ways.

I left several questions on a piece of paper for Dr. Van Boreum because I have no way to get in touch with him. The main one is what to do about the cancer pills that cause the bones to weaken as well as if there is anything I can do to help the blood flow return.  Hopefully, he will answer.  

Dave has been overly concerned with my ankle the past few days.  He is usually very laid back but this he has shown more concern over this than most of the rest of this journey.  He said how critical it is that we get a miracle and get this ankle to heal.  I have not seen him so concerned in a very long time.  That in turn makes me worry even more.  He wants to have the ward fast for me.  He brought up the miracle we received when our ward fasted for Tyson when he was a baby. He was having surgery to repair his ileocecal valve and if they couldn't repair it they told us he would "succumb"' in early childhood. Those were the surgeons exact words. Isn't it funny how you remember things like that forever.  We had just moved into a brand new ward and hadn't even attended yet because we were always at the hospital.  The word got out somehow of our situation and the ward held a special fast just for Tyson, a little baby they had never met, or his parents.  I have absolutely no doubt or question in my mind that fast was the reason that they were able to save that valve and he lived.  We were beyond grateful.  Miracles do happen even when things seem very dire.  I am expecting one with this.  I have complete faith it can happen and will.  
However, I am not feeling right about asking the ward to fast.  It's kind of hard when someone is about to lose their leg (in our ward- more on that below).

It was a beautiful day!!!  It reached 70 degrees in SLC!  Felt so good!  We headed to Costco to get some things.  We were in there quite a while.  I got in the electronic wheelchair because I knew I wouldn't see anyone I knew there since we were in Murray. Hah  And there is no way my leg can handle that huge place.  Dave had to take this photo. He thinks he is SO funny!  Look close and you will know why he thinks he's so funny.  Basically making fun of his granny wife!  haha

We then went to Hires Big H for burgers.  We love that place.  Then we hit Nielson's Frozen Custard and shared a bumbleberry concrete!  We might be their best "custard-mers"  Haha  We then came home and I tried to catch this up a bit and Dave did some chores and then headed to his meetings. 

This is what I posted on the Boston Marathon Training page today: 

What a fun time to be following this page! I want to say THANK YOU to all of you amazing Boston Buddies who have asked for an update on my cancer and injury and have been such a great support. I have gratefully completed my radiation and so hopefully that is all behind me now. As for the crush injury on my leg, the blood clots have eased up and I am walking a bit better and have now advanced to a cane! Yippee! However, I think I liked the crutches better because when people see you with a crutch they just think "injury" but when you have a cane, they think "old"! 👵 
I went to an ankle specialist last week and unfortunately he didn't have good news for me. It looks like my talus bone is starting to die due to lack of blood supply. IF it does, he said that means NO RUNNING! Ever. He said running is absolutely the worst possible thing I could do because of the impact it would have. If it did fracture then it would not be able to heal and I would end up with painful arthritis in it and never walk normally. I was pretty devastated as I held back the tears and said, "But running is my life! I have to get back to Boston at least one more time." To which he very matter of factly responded with, "Looks like you will have to find a new sport." The irony of it all is that my knee (which will heal fine) was my greatest worry and my ankle was the very least of my concerns.
He did give me a very tiny glimmer of hope by saying that there is a slight chance it could repair itself if all the stars align. So, Boston Buddies, once again I am asking for your faith and prayers because I know what amazing and incredible faith you have and I REALLY NEED A MIRACLE!!! I am holding onto that tiny glimmer of hope and with your prayers and with God's miraculous healing power, get my ankle to repair itself!
The past three and half months have been incredibly challenging but they have also been a blessing to me because I have witnessed MANY miracles through this crazy journey, and I have the faith that I can receive another one.
I want to sincerely thank you all for being there for me when I have needed prayers, uplifting, miracles, and just plain old love. So, thank you!
And, when it gets hard out there in three weeks, I hope you will think of those of us who can't run this year due to injuries or other reasons and that will give you the boost and the strength you need to carry on!#Bostonbuddies #lovetorun #miracleneeded #faithoverfear

And, Katherine Switzer commented on it AGAIN!!!  I can't even tell you what that means to me!!!  I'm so honored!

• 

  Kathrine Switzer Sending love your way! 😘 #BeFearless

Kathrine Switzer's is the one by the arrow

dear wednesday, this morning I had my PT at 10:30 a.m.  It was nice to get it done and over with early.  I was pretty sore today for some reason and everything he did on my knee was very painful. He manually moves the kneecap around and pushes down hard on my leg forcing it to straighten and that was pretty awful today.  The "fun station" was the very worst so far except the very first time.  I couldn't even get my leg out of it this time because my knee hurt so much and was so tender and so Jamie had to lift it out with the towels and gently put it on the table.  Ouch! It was bad.  Today was one of the worst all around so far of my PT.  We really worked the ankle as well.  But, it needs it.  I changed my clothes in my car and then headed to Ogden to our Sista lunch at Coopers.  Thankfully, I found a parking spot pretty close.  It was fun.  There were six of us there.  We all got the same things, either French Dips or Grilled Cheese.  Hah  The fries were so yummy!  I ate way too many!  We were celebrating Chris being done with her radiation, chemo and the entire ordeal!  She has been going through this for almost a full year!  I almost felt bad that I finished before she did. But, not really.  I am actually VERY VERY grateful!  I have had my share of other stuff going on that I would not wish on anyone!  It was good to see Kathy. I haven't seen her for a long time.  We chatted and then took some pix outside. Everyone had to rush off.  

I ran to Bella Me to get the dress I put on hold.  My Mom gave me a gift card there for Christmas and so I used it.  I loved the dress and got one more.  I had $50 and the first one was $35.  Now to figure out how I will wear them with my TED hose.  Fun Fun!  I stopped by my parents house for about an hour and visited with them.  When I got home Bryce and crew was here but I just missed Taylor. He had gone to the Jazz game.  Brinlee and Liam were adorable and I read them a book and then we had dinner.  Dave headed to his meetings.  They were getting ready to leave and Tracy Allen stopped by.  She brought me a really pretty bracelet that says BELIEVE on it.  People are so nice.  She stayed and visited for quite a while.  I was ready to hit the hay tonight!

I loved these thoughts from Hilary Weeks. I feel sooooo much the same:

Hilary Weeks· 

In the middle of the raging storm when Peter asked if he could join the Lord on the water, Jesus said, “Come.” (Matt 14:29)

Not...
“Come and you’ll see how amazing it is to walk on water.”
Not...
“Come and by the way you’re going to start to sink but it’s gonna work out.”
Not...
“Come this is going to be an amazing experience that changes your life.”

Just, come.

I believe we are each intended to walk on water - or in other words - experience and be part of amazing things. We are meant to “succeed gloriously,” as Elder Scott puts it. We are meant to do great things. There are talents, skills and gifts inherent in us that God wants to use for His glory.

We know that.

We feel that.

When we stand on the edge of greatness, knowing we need to act, and we ask God for His power, strength, grace and support - He says “Come.”

Not...
“Come and I guarantee this is all gonna go as planned.”
Not...
“Come and everything will be perfect.”
Not...
“Come and you’re never gonna be sad, disappointed or fearful.”

Just, come.

So we do. Trusting that He will be there the whole time like He was for Peter. Trusting that He knows how to help us. Trusting that he will reach our reaching.

And that is where the miracle lives.

HILARY WEEKS: I’ve been thinking a lot about a struggle I went through last year. At the time it was hard to understand but now that I’m several months removed I can see God’s wisdom.

I imagine it is hard for Him to watch us fight through discouragement and disappointment. But He is good. Always good.

AND He is always leading us to a better version of ourselves even when that means walking through deep waters.

I am feeling grateful for the new view and for the climb it took to see it.

 This makes me sigh with gratitude and hope!

dear thursday, today was a busy one.  I got up and made a cake for Troy's father's funeral. 

Taylor was here.  I got ready and went to the viewing before and then to the funeral. Dave conducted. It was at our church building.  Troy gave a great talk.  It really amazes me how fast life goes by.  You just never know.  We can't ever take it for granted.  I came home and Dave ran to a Dr. Day lunch.  He brought some prime rib home and it was delicious.  I was so tired and so I went up and actually took a nap for about 30 min.  That might be a first in a very long time. I was just so exhausted.  I met Dave at the temple at 4:15.  We had a stake president group session.  We met in a room before and Elder Larson and Pres. Laing spoke to us.  Then we headed up to the session.  Wow, it has sure changed.  I like it though.  Several people talked to me about my injury.  We didn't stay long after because my ankle was super swollen today. No idea why, but it hasn't been this bad in months. Maybe it was from Rob working it so hard yesterday at PT, but just not sure. I elevated it for a while and then did my PT.  Dave went to Menrichment.  LOL  

My darling and sweet niece Aubrey (the singer) sent me all this chocolate from Pennsylvania!  It is so good too!  She is the best!  I am so blessed!

dear friday, today my ankle was no longer as swollen thankfully!  I had my PT this morning and I took Tylenol before.  It didn't help much because I was only able to get a 143-144 on my flexion and that was excruciating!  I thought my knee was literally going to explode.  I was a 10 on my extension COLD. I got between a 4 and 5 WARM.  At least that's a little progress but my goal is to be 100% when I'm cold, which is a -3 or a -4!  That is 13-14 degrees!  That could be another three months!  Rob says as soon as my quad muscles get in gear, things will go fast, but they aren't getting the memo!  It's frustrating, but as long as I am going in the right direction, I am okay.  We have to keep asking my insurance for more time. He says if they deny it, he will petition and if they deny the petition, then that's not good either.  Then I will have to pay out of pocket.  The fun station was NOT fun.  I held back today because Rob told me to not let it get too bad.  I tend to push it because I really want to get better!  But when I unleashed the bands that hold my knee down, HOLY!  I  didn't do it slowly enough and that really was painful.  That thing is a medieval torture device.  

He was so nice and told me that he really enjoys me coming in and appreciates my positive attitude and cheerfulness when I am there.  I thought that was so nice of him.  I told him that I appreciate him and I am so grateful for all he has done for me and his optimism and his attitude has in turn helped me.  Since my leg was warm and more bearable to be on it, I headed to Walmart. I had to get some more compression socks and Carson a puzzle that he wanted because I told him I was going to get him a prize for his great report card.  It wore me out.  One of these days, it's not going to!  It really poured hard while I was in there.  On my drive home, it snowed!  

I found out Sharon K. had her leg amputated today.  Yikes.  I feel so bad.  Dave and I were actually going to visit her two nights ago and then we had company show up and so we were going to yesterday and he didn't have a spare minute. I should have gone alone.  I truly feel so bad. She had surgery on her leg and ankle and got an infection that went to her bone.

We went to The Greenery to eat dinner because there was a purse I wanted to get that I saw when I was there with the Sistas that is the right size for me for now. I can't carry my big purse right now because it's too heavy.  The food was really good!  And the Mormon Muffins are to die for!

dear saturday, well, the memory isn't what it used to be and I did not write this day during this week as I usually do and so I am not really sure what happened today.  I do know that Sky and Carson and Sarah did come.  Carson wasn't feeling too well.  

He wanted to watch a movie and so I watched one with him and snuggled.  He is the cutest little guy.  He is so excited for his brother Chayden to come in about 10 days.  He brought me more cute "presents". 

I reached my goal of 21 days of walking to earn my RUNICORN medal!  Yay!  I wasn't sure I was going to reach it. Here is my medal.  Pretty cute since the Boston Marathon mascot is a unicorn.  Baby steps. 

dear sunday, today was fast Sunday.  Carson didn't feel well and so they all stayed home, so I went by myself.  I had no intentions of bearing my testimony, but when there was about 15 minutes left in the meeting, my heart started pounding and I knew what that meant.  We had a special family fast for my ankle and I was going to be getting a blessing after the fast and so I felt that I needed to sacrifice (walking all the way up there and bearing my testimony was a sacrifice for me!) in order to show my gratitude to HF.  Of course, I had no idea what I was going to say and I am not sure what I did say, other than I talked about how I had been blessed with many miracles and that I have learned a lot through the past few months.  I talked about how HF is willing to bless us but we have to be willing to ask. And that he hears all our prayers even though they might not get answered the way we hoped.  I think I talked about gratitude.  I truly have no idea what else I said.  

The interesting thing was, I took my cane with me as I walked up to the podium, but I didn't need it.  My leg felt good.  I was barely limping.  I am not sure how or why, but it was amazing. It felt the good the entire rest of the day as well.  It was the 5th Sunday and so I didn't need to go to Primary because the Bishopric was teaching. I went to the RS room and Bishop Hepworth taught us about Family History.  It was good.  After a little bit, Dave decided to give me a blessing. He asked Troy to come over and assist.  It was a good blessing.  I was really hoping he would be specific and he was for the most part. He blessed me that I would heal and then he blessed me that I would run again.  I cried. It was the blessing I was hoping for.  Now I just have to have faith.  Carson told me he saw me crying.  He is so cute.  Troy is so nice.  He is truly one of those rare people that you can always count on.  A true friend in every sense of the word.  I am so grateful for the power of the Priesthood and for worthy men to be able to bless me.  

We had Waikiki meatballs for dinner.  They were so yummy. 

Then we put together a puzzle of Disney villains that Carson loved. It was a tough puzzle and we didn't finish it.  I played some other games with Carson including Greedy Granny.  What a hoot that is!   

We then headed to the clinic to have Dave check Carson out. He was doing much better by then.  His fever got up to 104 last night!

We drove by the lot where the storage units are going to be.

dear random,

They are performing without me!!!  Waaaa.......

This is Dave at last year's girl's camp  LOL

A couple of oldies!!!  I look like I'm stoned in this one, but it brought back some good memories and so I am posting anyway. Hah

This was a while ago at Relief Society that I don't think I posted.

dear quotes,