*Monday Memos*

*MONDAY MEMOS*

   

 (If pictures are too small, just click to enlarge) 
Weekly recap of my rather crazy, insane, but fun and rewarding life!

dear monday, I woke up not feeling well at all.  Coughing, head ache, body aches, just hurt all over.  I seriously thought about cancelling PT, but I knew he was booked and I would never be able to get back in so I just went.  I survived.  Chatted with lots of peeps.  

Extension is a 2 cold now. And a minus 1 warm!  Only five more degrees!  Walking went well but after the ice at the end I couldn't walk again.   I changed my clothes in the car and headed to my Dr. appt at the Huntsman with Dr. Cannon. I did some shopping on the way. I stopped at the Farmington stores (Home Goods and Ross) and also at Real Deals before that.  I got some cute things.  

Appt went great.  Other than I am up two pounds.  Ugh  But I've never had an afternoon appt and I had just eaten my fave salad from Kneaders (turkey, bacon, avocado) so I'm saying that's partly why.  Hah  Reality is I can't run!  Or really do anything to burn calories!  Bad news though, Dr. Henry (my oncologist) is moving to Florida!  Dang.  I saw an intern and then Dr. Cannon examined me and said I have minimal scarring. I scheduled a mammo for six months and then a follow up with him. I love his nurse.  She is really nice.  

Back to the Hunstman.  This time for a much better reason.  Just a follow up!

I was in bad traffic for a long time. Came straight home.  Hope I can kick whatever it is I am trying to catch. Doris Day died today at the age of 97. I sure am a huge fan of her movies. 

dear tuesday, I did not feel well again. I was a bit late to harp. During my lesson I had a coughing fit.  My lesson went really well though.  I headed to Shelley's house in Hopper for our  Mama Mia party.  It was really FUN!  I took cowboy caviar. Yum.  SO much fun. We all sang and danced along with the movie. I really love that movie and loved being together with my Sistas to watch it again. Everyone loved it. Shelley had a scrapbook from our senior year with some real fun photos.  It was quite entertaining.  We had fun looking at them and then went outside in her amazing yard and took lots of fun photos.  It was a lot of fun!

A few gems from her scrapbook of my high school pals:

Her yard should be in a magazine!

I then had to run some errands and headed to Target and Michaels.   When I got home I made banana nut bread.  Bryce brought the Littles over.  He was tending them. We played and then headed to park. It was a lot of fun.  I even went down the slide! Progress! It was kind of scary!  LOL I chatted with Karen J and Savannah. 

Brinlee had lilacs and bows in her hair.  She is so cute.

I can't get enough of these yummy delicious smelling flowers!  They are so fragrant!!!
And I can't get enough of these fun and adorable Littles.

 Taylor and McKay were here.  Liam put a huge piece of banana bread in his mouth!  Taylor cracked up.  That kid LOVES food!

dear wednesday, today is D day! Today that stands for DAUNTLESS! I have my appt with the ankle specialist that I have been anticipating for two months and have worked on having faith that I will get a miracle today. I am going in with ONLY faith and hope and not gonna let any fear or doubt creep in. At least that is my plan! I wish I felt better physically. Whatever I have is wiping me out. I had a coughing fit at my harp lesson yesterday and she had to get me water and then that didn't help so she grabbed me some cough drops. It was bad. I feel like poopola. My head is pounding too. And my stupid sciatic is acting up ridiculously today. BUT... my knee is feeling good and my ankle is going to make me happy here in about 2.5 hours!

Well, Dave and I ventured down to my appointment. I wasn't nervous or scared or too worried at all. This was the magazine sitting in front of me while we waited. I will take that as a good sign!

Dave checked out the x-rays before the doc came in. He actually thought things were looking better.

The doc popped in the room and in an upbeat fashion. He said my tibia looks more dense and he kinda made it sound like maybe the talus a bit but then he said immediately that nothing has changed. And that means NO impact. He basically said that I can no longer run unless I want to do permanent and irreversible damage. From there he went on to try to answer all the questions he perceived I had, only he missed about 56 of them. LOL So I continued to ask him questions. He kind of made me feel like an annoying kindergartener. haha He was matter of fact again but a bit more available to take time than last time. He said it could still regenerate but that could take years and even if it does he would still not recommend I run on it because some of that bone has died. I have no idea how he can tell from that x-ray but that's what he said. It's like his mind was made up no matter what the x-ray showed. But, it is what it is.

I wasn't super impressed with his bedside manner. He said I will have to take up biking. And it will give me the endorphins and keep me in shape etc etc. He then said that he is a biker and gets all that from it. The only thing he said remotely comical (and it wasn't even) was that is how he keeps his girlish figure and he actually cracked a smile. Then he said that he was a runner and told me his running times and how he was when on his track team but he blew out both his knees and was told never to run again and said, "So I listened to my doctor and never did". I started to wonder if he is a bitter ex runner because he can't run and he doesn't want anyone else to either. hehe Okay, maybe that's extreme because I was trying to find "SOMETHING" haha........but he basically gave no hope and I asked if there was ANYTHING I could do that MIGHT help and he just abruptly said that there is NOTHING and there are NO scientific studies on anything that will help. I asked about a ton of things I have heard about and he just kept saying, "THERE ARE NO SCIENTIFIC STUDIES ON ANYTHING that will help."
Every time I would ask something he would say there is nothing you can do. And if I want my ankle when I am 85 then I can't do anything with impact.....aerobics, nothing. Basically just biking. I said biking is too dangerous then he told me about all his competitions he does on his bike. Maybe he's right but I'm not giving up and I'm going to get a second opinion. He also told me if I do fracture it then I will have to have it fused and and if that happens it won't even bend and I will limp forever. When he told me I would have to have it fused, I half jokingly said, "Oh then I could run?!" He said, "No!" Dang! But, I was just hoping for something - anything positive like, "I heard this worked on someone and you could try that but no guarantees", or something, anything.

As I walked out of the building feeling pretty discouraged and like my life had been swept right out from under my feet, I saw this sign:

The MIRACLE of HEALING. Coincidence? Maybe. But, maybe not. There are a lot of ways I could go with that, but I will let you come to your own conclusions.
I have had some interesting things happen though... I had a feeling this was going to be what I heard today. I have been pretty depressed for a couple of days and wasn't sure why but I know now because deep down I knew this is what was coming. BUT.... HF also sent me some tender mercies. I got about 10 texts today. A few BEFORE and several AFTER and some from peeps who had NO IDEA I had the appt today and the things they wrote were EXACTLY what I NEEDED TO HEAR! It's kind of bizarre how that works. BUT I can NOT deny that is the hand of the Lord letting me know He is here and knows the details of what is happening. I got one from a friend who wrote to tell me that no matter what happened today with him (she knew I was going soon but didn't know it was today but felt impressed to write me today) but she said that no matter what happens to not worry too much about it. She said she went to her eye Dr. and had faith she would get good news and got the feeling while praying to not worry what the Dr. says because she had been blessed by HF and it will be okay. The Dr. gave her bad news and it turned out that he was wrong. She told me to keep the faith no matter what because I have been blessed to run again. Then my running friend Robin sent me a heart wrenching text. I will copy and paste hers because it made me just sob. I tried to read it to Dave on the way home and I couldn't read it. I was crying to much to even speak.

Here is what she wrote:

"Aww! Not good news! He doesn't sound very nice at all! You definitely need a second opinion! Just this morning while I was running as I was passing your house I had a thought and I wasn't sure rather I was going to tell you this or not but with what you just told me I feel I need to! Anyway as I was passing your house I was thinking how much I have missed running with you and how much I'm going to miss you being there Saturday! I thought to myself will we every be able to run together again and the thought came to me, "Yes you will, she just needs to trust in the Priesthood blessing that Dave gave her, that she will run again!"
I know you know this but the Lord is so aware of you and I have felt that every time I think about your situation and every time I pray for you!
I love you friend! I feel strongly things are going to get better!!"

Then several other friends told me they know that it will still be okay and to not give up the faith. I need to hear that right now. I truly was so shocked and sad when it was not what I had the faith it would be. You only need the faith of a mustard seed to move a mountain and I had the faith of a whole tree. It has caused me to question my faith and if I even have any at all. All the visioning I have been doing and seeing my ankle heal and all the things I have heard, "Your running days are far from over" and the priesthood blessing that said I would run again and EVERYTHING that I have held onto...has caused me to really question it all! I am not usually like that. I usually just stay with the faith and say it was for a reason but this time, I did EVERYTHING I could and I even turned it over to Him and laid it on the alter and told Him I was willing to accept His will. But then I prayed my heart out and had faith and did so much and I KNEW I was going to be "rewarded" for it. And then I wasn't. So, is this a trail of my faith to see if I will hold on? Or is it His will EVEN though I was promised I would run again? I AM SO CONFUSED! I just don't know what to think anymore. It was a huge blow. HUGE. I know deep down I will be fine as far as my faith goes, but right now I am having a difficult time understanding all this. WHY can't I just be healed like the lady with the issue of blood? Surely, I have that much faith. I know better than to question why, but here I am doing it anyway.
I am struggling to piece this all together. Deep deep deep down I KNOW it will all be okay and I will be fine but right now, it is pretty tough. I am struggling with it all. Mostly having faith in something that a professional (one of the best in the state if not THEE best) has told me the exact opposite of what my blessing and feelings have. I know I have to put my trust and faith in God and not in man (even a specialist) because God is all knowing and more powerful than anyone or thing. But right now even that is tough. But I must. I must jump over this obstacle and regroup and give it some time. The problem is I am not getting any younger here! lol
I pray it will all turn out how I desire BUT IF NOT, I will accept it as well.
I held it together really well in the room and was fine until I got out to the car and started to process it all.  NEVER RUN AGAIN?  HOW?  Running is my life!  It is how I feel good and it is a craving so deep in my soul I am not sure how I can not run again. I started to cry and couldn't stop.  We went to Costco and I had to pull it together.  I did but once back in the car I lost it again.  We ate lunch at Spaghetti Factory but it wasn't as good as usual.  

I cried a few times there as well.  (When I say I cry, it's more like tears come out of my eyes and that's basically it. I don't make sounds, just in case you are picturing me hysterical. Haha).  But, this is all so much to take in.  Not just he disappointment over the ankle but also over the faith and the blessing and the miracle I thought I was going to get.
The miracle today was all the people that sent me messages that had no idea I was seeing him today.  (Texts from Colleen, Janet, Elder Randall, Robin, Jen, Dawn, Aubrey- Troy -most who did not  know I had an appt today). I know that was a tender mercy from HF to let me know He is aware of all this.  Dave tried to be very understanding.  He said a few things that made me fear he wasn't sure I would ever run again and then when he said something about that, I responded with, "Unless I KNOW it has healed, I WON'T run again!  It is not worth the risk!"  Which is true.  The doc made it sound so horrible if it fractures because then the arthritis will be horrendously painful and I would have to have it fused and I would be miserable.  

How about chocolate?

Tad Callister shared in his recent talk. He spoke of three ways Christ's Atonement helps us pass through afflictions and infirmities: "Sometimes He removes the affliction, sometimes He strengthens us to endure, and sometimes He gives us an eternal perspective to better understand [our] temporary nature."

Which will it be?

We came home. I went outside and started to trim all the potted spikes (palm trees now).  I must have really needed some outdoor therapy because yard work is not therapeutic to me.  LOL I was going to go lay down because Dave thinks I have pneumonia. I have a very productive cough.  I feel like crap as well, but I had way too much of laying around to last me a lifetime and I just couldn't do it. Maybe I'll find a Doris Day film to watch while I do my PT.  While I was doing my PT, McKay brought me this heavenly piece of chocolate cake from Maddox!  Oh. My. Gosh.  It's divine!  I only had a couple bites.  It's so rich, it will last me at least a week!

dear thursday, I woke up feeling pretty sick.  Dave thinks I have pneumonia.  Great.  Perfect timing.  At least my physical matches my emotional. Robin text me last night and asked if I wanted to go to the temple today.  We were going to do the 9 am session but I had to text her and tell her I wasn't feeling well. My head was pounding - my eyes hurt to even open them - my throat was on fire - and I was trying to cough up a lung.  When Dave got back from PB, I told him why I was still home and he asked if I wanted a blessing.  I would never turn that down and so he gave me one and blessed me that I would be able to go to the temple.  Which I did.  We did the 11 a.m. session, BUT... as I was leaving I couldn't find my recommend ANYWHERE!  Panic!  I text Robin and she told me to just come and they would look it up and let me in. Luckily, they did. I think Dave has it from the last time we went.  It was nice to be there but I wasn't feeling a ton of peace at first. Still frazzled from being rushed.  I think "someone" was trying to keep me from going because I finally felt some peace.  I ended up finding my recommend a few days later in my wallet. I had looked there very thoroughly and many times.  I think it was Satan trying to keep me from attending today because he knew I really needed to be there. Robin and I had a good chat in the celestial room.  I got the feeling over and over that I need to put my trust in God and not man.  I left there not trusting what the doc told me yesterday and I felt determined to make sure I hold onto the faith so my blessing comes to fruition.  I got several texts today that were uplifting and helpful.  Everyone is so supportive.  I keep having tender mercies thrown at me through this entire thing.  People tell me what I need to hear when I need to hear it.  It's been a huge blessing. I came home and then ran to Maurices for some cute shoes like Robins.  Then to Kents and ran into Scott.  Kimber had her 4th girl today.  I made tater tot casserole for dinner and for Dave's parents. I also made 7 lbs of hamburger gravel.  

Sarah Jenks stopped by with a thank you loaf of bread for Dave.  That was another tender mercy because I didn't have time to make a dessert for Dave's parents and so I used some of that. Taylor was here studying his brains out for the MCAT on Saturday. Julie stopped by. I took her gift to her. Her bday is tomorrow. I found this penny on my way...

Still the KING of the mountain

dear friday, today I had my PT but went in a little early so I could get to Carson's grandparent's lunch.  I told Rob about the Dr. appt.  He was on my side and told me I really need to get another opinion.  He said sometimes docs get so focused on one thing that they have a hard time seeing the big picture.  So true. I was walking pretty good today. My extension was at a -2 warm!  And my flexion was at a 154 on the heel slides!  That was huge!  I was pretty excited!  I chatted with lots of the other patients while there.  It's become my social life. Hehe  It was raining pretty hard.  I headed to Layton and picked up Carson and then headed to his school for grandparents lunch day. 

It was packed!  TONS of grandparents visiting. Most brought food from outside but we ate school lunch. I originally thought it would be fun for Carson to try it but after eating it I realized that was a bad idea. Bleh.  Things have really gone downhill!  They actually had a scoop of tuna with chips.....disgusting!  I had ravioli's and they were so bad.  They also had chicken sandwich that was ugh. The string cheese was acceptable as were the cookies.  Oh and I even had a little salad, but it left much to be desired. Carson had PB &J and put it inside a bun.  Too funny.

LOVE this little guy more than words can say!

That kid is so friendly and said hi to all his friends and they all love him you can tell. I can tell he is a very popular kid. And cute to boot.  

We went to the book fair for a bit but he wanted to go see Ezra while I looked around and I told him to hurry and come right back where I was.  After a few minutes, no Carson and I could not see him in the entire lunch room. I was starting to panic a bit.  But I stayed calm and finally after looking everywhere I found him sitting down at a table with a few friends. Bella was one. He likes her a lot. 

He loves Lyla (she was on vacation) but Bella is adorable.  We got some books and then he showed me his classroom. 

We headed back to his house.  We played for a bit and then I headed back.  He looks so grown up in these photos.  

It was still raining.  McKay and Taylor had gone to the surf thing. Taylor took the day off studying because his MCAT is tomorrow.  Smart move.  I wasn't feeling super duper.  Dave thinks I have pneumonia and so I have been on antibiotics for a couple days.  I went upstairs and finished the book for McKay I was marking out the F bombs.  Dave got home late.  He went to a viewing without me.  Just wasn't up to it.  It was so cold tonight. Bye bye warm weather. It's going to rain for a full week.  It is Julie C's 60th bday today.  I went in on the sign for her yard.  Wow, 60!  That will be me right around the corner!  Yikes!  Sounds ancient!

dear saturday, it was pouring rain this a.m.  Dave rolled over and asked if I was so glad I didn't have to go run the Ogden Marathon today.  Truthfully, I was SO SO SO SAD!  I would have ran that thing in ANY weather!  Just to be able to run again would be the greatest blessing ever.  Robin ran it and was not happy about the weather, but I told her I would give anything if I could be out there running with her.  She said she was running it for me or she might have backed out. That is so sweet of her.  Oh man, this is so hard to deal with. I was doing okay, but then when I got on the results page and compared last year's time to this year's runners....I realized I most likely would have placed in the top three based on pace. Last year I took 5th in my age division out of 88 which was such a huge thing for me.  When I realize what level I was at when all this happened I just want to cry. I worked so hard to get to a place in my speed and pace and I was at a good place and then BAM!  I get on a stupid snowmobile and it's ALL taken away from me in an instant!  I am struggling today more than I have since it all happened.  It's really hard for me just knowing I could be on the podium and in a few years, I will be in a different age div and I know that I could be placing in all the bigger races more so than I was before.  Not that I even care about that, but what I care about is I worked so hard to achieve the level I did and now it's gone just like that and there is NO WAY I will be able to get back to where I was.  I have so much damage to my ankle and even if the bone heals all the way, the ligaments are still going to give me issues.  BUT, I really think if I have a chance I can run and maybe not as fast as before, but even if I can just run I will be content.  I really don't care about prize money and trophies and winning.  I just want to be able to RUN!  It's so hard to let go of what was and accept what is. SO HARD.  I thought I was totally doing great with it all until I got on the result page for today's race. Bad idea.  And today I walked up a little hill on my walk and I could barely get up it.  My ankle won't bend that way anymore and I got fatigued and it depressed me so much.  I am not usually one to let things like this take me down, but today I am allowing it to because some times you just NEED TO FEEL it so you CAN LET IT GO!  

I'm not there yet, I'm still feeling it and it's raw.  REALLY raw.  It hurts.  Bad. In the deepest part of my feelers.  It's very sad and painful to know those days are gone.  And this isn't about faith here. Even IF I do run again, I will no longer be where I was.  I'm not getting any younger here.  And I worked for so many years to get to the level I was and you HAVE to maintain that level or it slips away so fast.  I hope there will be justice in heaven for all this.  Not that I deserve it or anything, but this is hard to swallow.  A very bitter pill for me.  I am sure I will snap out of this pity party, but right now I am wallowing in it.  Yep. Just wallowing. 

I made granola today.  Taylor always begs me to make it.

I went to Wallies and ran into Dave and then to the Relay for Life at Pioneer Park. 

They had some booths and stuff and I walked around and bought a cupcake and actually ate the entire delicious thing. I usually try to just sample and save, but today, nope. I indulged and it was so good!  It was a lemon meringue one.  Wow. So tasty.  I got in two miles around the park.  There was a pile of the deep soil that years ago I wrote the word BOSTON in to help motivate me to get there. 

Today, I decided I needed to have enough faith to write it again and keep holding onto hope.  So I wrote it again but it was so flooded I could only write a small one.  It gave me some hope.  Then interestingly enough when I was by the ball diamond there just happened to be some yellow and blue chalk just laying there.  Boston Marathon colors. It was wet from the rain but I thought, "Hmm....a coincidence? Or not?"  I think not and so I took advantage of it and wrote BOSTON in the blue and yellow Boston colors. I also just "happened" to be wearing by Boston hoodie Mitra gave me. I took some selfies and I am going to use this for my inspiration when I get feeling it's hopeless.  Like now.  I have to hold onto hope NO MATTER what is going on in my brain with it all.  I NEED the HOPE. 

I found a penny. It was like it was just waiting for me because it was a miracle I even saw it.  Tender mercies.

Taylor had the MCAT today.  Dave gave him a blessing before he left. I helped him pack his lunch and wrote him a little note to help give him some confidence and a little boost. 

When he got home he thanked me for it and said it was tough but he hopes he did better than last time.  That kid has put in the time and has earned a good score. He studies harder than anyone I know.  I pray he did well.

We went to a reception for the Braegger's daughter tonight.  They made these amazing poster size photos of the couple and they looked very expensive and professional and she told me how she did them. They had the photos copied and enlarged and then just put them over board. I can't remember now who printed them (somewhere in Logan) but I want to remember this for the future!

dear sunday, today just Carson, me and McKay went to church.  It was a good meeting. I didn't have to teach today but I went to help.  Carson ended up going to the wrong class.  He didn't believe he did and didn't believe me, but he did. LOL  We came home and I wasn't feeling super great.  I headed up to do my PT and Carson came up to take a nap and so I decided to lay by him.  I fell asleep for about an hour but it was so amazing.  I did my PT and when I came down Haylie, Bryce and the kids were here as well.   I sat down and chatted for a while with Haylie and Sarah and then we ate.  It was fun having everyone here even though there isn't a ton of room.  I would design my house so different today. After dinner I played Greedy Granny and Jumpin' Jack with Carson and Brinlee.  Liam got in the act as well.  It was fun. I just wasn't feeling too great. Dave thinks I either have pneumonia or bronchitis. I probably shouldn't have been around the Littles.  I was pretty tired, but then after everyone left I got involved in some dumb movie while I finished my PT and stayed up way too late.  I'll pay for it tomorrow.

Dave tried the Traegger for the first time.  He smoked tri-tip. It was good!

dear quotes,

♥"We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us...how we can take it, what we can do with it...and that is what really counts in the end." -Joseph Newton ♥ 

♥"I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances." ~Martha Washington♥

 ♥"It's all about choices"♥ 

♥"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand"♥ 

♥"If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough."♥ 

Adding this one AGAIN because it's so good.  

"♥ "Sometimes He removes the affliction, sometimes He strengthens us to endure, and sometimes He gives us an eternal perspective to better understand [our] temporary nature."♥ 

dear random,

This article HERE talks about how kids need 8 hugs a day to alleviate the pressure that is upon them today and to increase their brain development.  

Interestingly enough, while my boys were growing up I read an article that said that everyone needs 7 hugs a day to survive. We started doing a thing every night before bed called "7 Hugs".   After family prayer each night, everyone gave each person 7 hugs.  So technically everyone ended up with 7 times however many people were there that night at prayer.  We did that for years and years.  And now here it is again popping up from "new" research.  They did increase it by one hug though.  LOL  HERE is another more scientific article on it. 

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These 20 Pictures Will Teach You More Than Reading 

100 Books

(Continued)

LINK HERE for rest of article.

13. Expect Everything And Attach To Nothing

“Expect everything and attach to nothing!” — Carrie Campbell

If you over-attach yourself to the outcome, you’ll generally be let down. Recently, I launched my first major book and despite the book being successful, I was completely shattered. I expected everything and attached completely to the outcome.

A far better approach is to expect everything and attach to nothing. Lowering your expectations isn’t the answer. According to motivational psychology, expectations both for yourself and from other people are crucial. High standards give you something to stretch for and rise-up to.

In an interview with Success Magazine, actor Jeremy Piven explained that as an actor, the only way to work is to go out and audition for specific roles.

The challenge most actors/actresses face is that they get in their own way. It doesn’t matter how much homework they’ve done. If they’re too tied to a specific result, they can’t be present in the moment. They can’t truly perform their art. They come off as desperate. They get in their own way. Their performance isn’t what it could have been.

Jeremy said that when he quit worrying about a specific result, he was able to be present during his auditions. He was able to be completely who he wanted to be. He wasn’t trying to be what he thought others wanted him to be. He performed his art.

If he didn’t get the gig, either they didn’t get it or it just wasn’t the right fit. So he moves on to the next. In this way, he’s able to get the jobs he’s supposed to have. He’s not just trying to get anything he can get.

According to Robert Kegan, Harvard Psychologist, the only way to truly experience the highest levels of transformation and “conscious evolution” is to detach from the need for specific outcomes.

14. It’s Better To Be Prolific Than Perfect

“It’s better to be prolific than perfect.” — Joe Polish

In the book, Art & Fear, David Bayles and Ted Orland shared the following story:

The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality.

His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pounds of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot — albeit a perfect one — to get an “A”.

Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work — and learning from their mistakes — the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.

In the book, Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World, Adam Grant explains that “originals” (i.e., people who create innovative work) are not reliable. In other words, not everything they produce is extraordinary. And the same is true for you. In order to produce your magnum opus, you’ll need to create a high volume of work. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.

For example, among the 50 greatest pieces of music ever created, six belong to Mozart, five are Beethoven’s, and three Bach’s. But in order to create those, Mozart wrote over 600 songs, Beethoven 650, and Bach over 1,000.

Similarly, Picasso created thousands of pieces of art, and few are considered to be his “great works.” Edison had 1,900 patents, and only a handful we would recognize. Albert Einstein published 248 scientific articles, only a few of which are what got him on the map for his theory of relativity.

So I ask: Are you creating a large volume of work?

Are you inputting or outputting?

If you like building, build more stuff. If you like writing, write more stuff. If you like connecting, connect more. If you like running, run more. Do stuff. Output. Do it more.

You give your ideas value by acting on them. A good idea, not acted upon, only brings pain and fear. Conversely, action brings confidence. Action is fun. Inaction slowly kills you inside.

Don’t wait to be moved by the spirit. Move the spirit yourself through action. There is no inspiration without action. Action is inspiration. That’s how it works.

Faith is action, and thus also power. Faith and fear cannot co-exist in the same person at the same time. Thus, action (i.e., faith) and inaction (i.e., fear) are opposites. Do what you love. Do it more. Output all the time.

No one said it better than Ira Glass:

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste.

But there is this gap.

For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.

A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work.

Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions.

And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

15. Creativity Banishes Recurring Thoughts

In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article showing that the average person has between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.

Recurring thoughts are not a good thing. Most people have recurring thoughts on a daily basis.

Recurring thoughts reflect unfinished projects, unresolved inner conflicts, or needed conversations. If you don’t resolve or complete the loop, then your mind will continue to be occupied and weighted-down by whatever is unresolved.

For a long period of time, I had a negative and impulsive relationship with caffeine. I thought about it for years. Hours and hours of time were spent thinking about caffeine. Those hours could have been spent thinking about something else. It wasn’t until I resolved my relationship with caffeine that I was able to FREE MY MIND of that pointlessly recurring thought.

Sadly, many people have recurring thoughts for years, sometimes decades. They haven’t resolved the inner conflict or completed the needed project.

For example, I know lots of people who have wanted to write a book for like 10 years. The idea has been on their mind and they’ve been ruminating about it for a really long time.

If they had written the book 10 years ago, they would have opened themselves to so many other thoughts that they never got access to, because their mind was too busy holding onto or thinking about their freaking recurring thoughts.

If you have recurring thoughts, BANISH THEM! Resolve them! If you need to, CREATE! Then watch as your mind is given space to think about the next project, and the next, and the next.

16. Good Timber Does Not Grow With Ease

“Good timber does not grow with ease: The stronger wind, the stronger trees; The further sky, the greater length; The more the storm, the more the strength. By sun and cold, by rain and snow, In trees and men good timbers grow.” — Douglas Malloch

David Bednar tells the story of a young man had recently purchased a pick-up truck. Needing some firewood, he thought it a great opportunity to test his new truck.

After driving up the snowy mountains and out of cellphone service, he found a spot to park near some trees. He pulled off the road to park and got stuck in deep snow. Desperate, he tried everything he could to get out. Switching from reverse to drive and spinning-out his tires, his truck got deeper and deeper stuck.

He put twigs under the stuck tire in hopes they would provide traction but to no avail. He used a shovel and tried digging around the tire, but he was stuck too deep.

Eventually, he became incredibly discouraged. The sun was hastily descending and weather bitterly chilling. He wasn’t sure what to do. He offered a simple prayer and got the impression to start cutting wood.

He worked for a few hours, chopping down trees and putting large pieces into the back of his truck.

Once the truck was full, he hopped in and turned it on. After a moment of humble silence, he tried reversing out. The heavy load of wood provided the needed traction to get out of the snow, to get back onto the road, and to move forward. Without the load of wood in his truck, he would have remained stuck.

Most people mistakenly believe that happiness is the absence of a load. We want life to be easy, without challenge or difficulty. However, it is by having a load that we can have the traction needed to move forward in our lives.

When we don’t carry a substantial weight of personal responsibility, we can quickly become stuck.

I have found this in my own life. It wasn’t until after I became a foster parent of 3 children — a substantial load indeed — that I was able to get the traction needed to develop my career as a writer.

Before having that personal load to carry, I was somewhat complacent. I lacked urgency. I didn’t have the traction to move forward.

A life of ease is not the pathway to growth and happiness. On the contrary, a life of ease is how you get stuck and confused in life.