Saturday, June 7, 2008

SNAKES ALIVE!!! But Preferably Dead!!!

WARNING: This post is not for the faint of heart. Especially the photos at the end. If you are NOT currently on medication from your doctor (for anything) then it is recommended you skip this post (or you for sure will be AFTER!) If you are experiencing shortness of breath, heart palpitations , high blood pressure, or nausea...then you have obviously already read this post and should see your doctor immediately!

I do not like snakes. I don't even kinda like snakes. Let me be perfectly clear here...

I HATE, no............. LOATHE the SLIMY, SLITHERING, EVIL LOOKING, INTIMIDATING, FEAR INDUCING, UGLY CREATURES!!! Me and Indy would get along VERY well. I am not sure where this fear began since I even have a photo of me holding one with my brother and boy cousins when I was about eight years old. Maybe 'holding' is the wrong word here. Actually, I was barely touching it just long enough for the picture to be taken. Now frogs are a different story. When we visited my cousins in California each summer, I could catch baby tree frogs until the cows came home. Large toads? Never! But the cute little baby ones were a blast to catch and play with.

Anyway, back to snakes...

Did I mention that I hate them? I guess I don't really know why, but I do. Maybe it's because my brother almost stepped on a rattlesnake when he and my Dad were out hunting when I was about 10 years old. They brought home the rattle and I couldn't even touch that. It totally gave me the willies. Then when I was a teenager, I was out jogging one morning along a path in our city park, which was on the terrace of the side of a mountain, and I too almost stepped on a rattlesnake. At least I think it was a rattlesnake. Hard to say since I didn't even know it was a snake until I was leaping in mid-air trying to avoid squishing it. I took off running and screaming so fast that I didn't get a close enough look. I'm about 98.1113% sure it was a rattler though.

Where I live now, I am "lucky" enough to be very close to a mountain (my backyard!) that is full of the slithering, nasty little devils. They are found in our neighborhood each year. Both of our next door neighbors have found them. We found a large one when we were digging the hole for our home and one summer a baby rattler was in our retaining wall as well. I am pretty sure the hub and boys have found them since, but keep that a little secret from me to insure there isn't a For Sale sign posted in our front yard.

Being the mother of boys does have its 'perks'. When Skyler was about eight, he found one and brought it home to "keep". This was totally unbeknownest to me however. But... not for long! One day shortly after, as I was doing laundry, I reached down into the hamper and saw something move at the bottom. Or more like slither. When I realized it was a snake, I screamed so loud and was so freaked, I thought I was going to have to be rushed away in an ambulance!

But oh, it just keeps getting better.

Several years ago, I was down in my basement vacuuming, and as I lifted up the couch to vacuum underneath, right there by my toes was a baby snake slithering all around!!! Once again I let out a blood curdling scream, lets just say... VERY LOUDLY, until help came to resuscitate me from my near paralyzed state. My oldest son and hubby came running down the stairs asking what was the matter. I was totally unable to speak and so I just pointed as the thing came slithering out as if on cue, from under the couch that I had dropped back down. As I was experiencing heart palpitations, my two rescue heroes were carrying on a lengthy discussion back and forth, over and over, on whether or not it was a rattlesnake. Baby rattlesnakes are hard to identify and so it was hard to tell since they look a lot like non-poisonous blow snakes only they are very venomous. But still!!!

I finally shrieked, "DO SOMETHING!!!"

As my knights in shining armor continued on with their deep discussion, the snake decided to take a little tour of the basement. It went into our unfinished bathroom and escaped nearly unnoticed into an open outlet space that had been cutout of the sheet rock! Yes, now I had a snake inside my walls! So, of course, common sense would indicate to do what? Well, what else, but shove a dishtowel inside the hole so it couldn't come back out! UGH! We left the next day on vacation and so that is where it still resides TO. THIS. DAY. Rent free, I might add!

I started to wonder how a baby snake was able to get in my house, let alone the basement! And then I couldn't help but think, if there is a baby, there has to be a mother...somewhere near! And how often is there just ONE baby? So where are all its slithering siblings? Needless to say, I rarely spend time in my basement now!!!

That's just a little history on my snake perils, although there is more. I will spare you those for now though. Instead I will tell you the latest one. Last week Skyler came walking in the door carrying a plastic grocery sack. I asked him what was inside the bag and he replied, "Dinner!" After five boys, I knew that could NOT be a good thing. I looked a little closer at the bag as he was walking towards the back door and was really hoping what I thought I saw was not really what I saw. So I very calmly said, "Is that a snake?" He replied very excitedly, "Yep!" When the reality finally hit me, I of course screamed! What else would I do? Certainly not ask what time dinner was! He gave me one of his sneaky little smiles and took off in the backyard. I didn't even want to know what he was doing out there. But it didn't take long until I did. Have a little looksie for yourself...

This is NOT a rattler...thankfully! But a non-venomous bull snake.

Here is dinner! Oh yum!

Oh, I can NOT believe I am posting this!!!

After skinning it... Bleh!

He's touching it with his bare hands! UGH! Where are your gloves crazy boy!

Oh, this is just so sick!

The skin...
Looks much better now.

The proud hunter

I know I've lost my appetite! How about you?

Two of his buds Jeremy and Eric, showed up to partake of the feast. These three are planning a SURVIVOR MAN expedition for four days in the Uintahs. They will do it just like the TV show and take nothing to eat or drink. Just survive on nature. Crazy!

Looks like its done...

Sky going first...
Tastes like... chicken? No. Pig? No. Fish? Heck no. Cow? Yep.
Snake Steak!

Hey, let me have some of that!

Look Ma, no hands!

Insanity... that's all I can say!

They said it was REALLY delicious. I will totally take their word for it! They thought it tasted more like steak than chicken. That's a first. The rest of my boys and several of their friends also tried it. Wish I had a photo of that. Everyone gave it a thumbs up. They ate the entire thing! At least now I know they can survive as long as there are snakes where they are going. One less thing to worry about! Survivor Man, eat your heart out! Not literally, of course! With that guy, you just never know!


deb said...

Oh-oh-oh! This was so disgusting! I can't believe they ate it. AND liked it! Great post though.

Macee said...

I was blog hopping and hopped onto yours through Google. Very nice blog. I was laughing quite hard in this post until I saw the photos! Eck! That is a brave son to do that. And a brave mom to let him. Kudos to you! Nice writing.

Jen said...

Unbelievable! Who needs food storage when you've got Skler around! I can't believe the pictures!

Tiffany said...

Oh, Ew, ew, ew!!! I just don't know how boys do the things they do. I mean, that is just nasty. Fun post though. I had snakes in my last house. I was babysitting so had to get one, that was climbing the stairs, out. Thank goodness for a spatula, a sticky mouse trap and a garbage can. That stinker was climbing the stairs pronto. Hm, maybe a post for later?:)
Oh, with changing the templates. Some let you keep what you have, others I have had to re-add all of my info. A pain, but worth it if you find one you REALLY like. Good luck.

Jodi said...

Hey Tiffany, I want to hear more about this snake of yours! You need to do a post on it!

Jen, I never thought about eating snakes as an alternative to food storage. Hmm... Think I would rather starve!!!

Macee - Brave mom or crazy mom? ;)

Deb- I can't believe it either!

Jodi said...

BTW ~ Does that song playing at first remind you of anything?

It's called Rattlesnake...

Do you think it sounds like one?!!

Shultzybabe said...

You’re so funny. Snakes don’t bother me a bit. In fact, I’d rather have snakes and lizards at home as pets than furry things. I don’t know about eating them though. Ew. If you find more snakes around, give me a call. The girls like to go snake ‘hunting’. We’ll come get it.

Yvonne said...

Ewww. I am not a fan of snakes. I don't think I could eat one at all.

Great pictures.

fivekidsandsomechocolate said...

Um- Wow!

Is this what Earlgirl and I have to look forward to when our boys are older? I can just picture it all in the firepit in her backyard.

In spite of slight repulsion I love the story and background.

EarlGirl said...

My insides are squirming just looking at it! How could you STAND it? Yuck, yuck, yuck. I wonder what they're going to do with the skin. Will it decorate your wall?


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