Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Hawaii #2 & Parenting Pointers Post #5

Here is the second installment of photos. One left to go! Again...these are mainly for the relatives! Sorry if the rest of you are totally bored with MORE photos! Just ignore!
This groups consists of Pearl Harbor, Kua Aina, the Laie Hawaiian Temple, Macadamia Nut Farm, Boogy Boarding, Snorkeling at Hanamua Bay, and Giovanni's Shrimp Shack.

*If the slide show isn't already going, (or if it stops) just click the X in the top right hand corner.

A few pre-views of the NEXT and LAST one!!!
More than a few since I don't know when I will be able to post the last and final slide show!!!!

A turtle at Turtle Bay...imagine that! He is HUGE!

Only Julie!

Shopping 'til we be dropping!

This is soooooooooooo much fun!

Ahhhh...the life...


I told you I was in PARADISE!!!!


My "sons" in Hawaii!

Speaking Hawaiin sign language!

That is a GINORMOUS centipede in this photo!!!! Look more towards the bottom! Click to enlarge...if you dare!

Wow again!

Cheesin' it

No caption necessary...


Tarzan Jane swinging from the vines just like at home

Kev & Tor "hunting" for coconuts!
Their efforts were not in vain!

A hard day at the office!

This IS the life!

A sale!!!!

Just a bunch of "fruits"

A Hawaiian fisherman casting his net

Hanging loose again

Pina Coladas made by Kev!

Seems like this is all we did!

Even in Hawaii!

Leaving Paradise


Parenting Pointers Post #5
Help for the Frazzled Mom! (and Dad!)

Based on Dr. Glenn I. Latham's book The Power of Positive Parenting

"Behave well. Good parenting is first a matter of teaching, second a matter of modeling, and never a matter of reacting." Dr. Glenn I. Latham

For the past four PPP posts we have talked about Dr. Latham's very wise counsel. Since we always learn better by DOING, today's post will be two simple assignments that will help to cement the concepts into our brains a little deeper.

The first is to focus on being a more positive person yourself! We already learned that parents are typically five to six times more likely to have negative interactions with their children than they are to have positive interactions. A study conducted in 1984 revealed that whereas in 1930, contact between parents and their children averaged 3-4 hours per day, by 1984 that amount was reduced to 14 ½ minutes, with 12 ½ minutes being spent in negative communication. That is a pretty dramatic change! We as parents often feel the need to "nip trouble in the bud" and get after kids for everything they do wrong. This produces the opposite of what is desired. Since behavior is strengthened by parental attention (whether it is positive or negative) we are much more likely to increase the negative behavior than "nip" it. We just create a negative environment filled with coercion that children want to escape from, or at least get even. A much better way is to learn to be positive and acknowledge behaviors that are appropriate! Let's become more positive!!!

Assignment #1:
Give positive attention to your family when they are doing things that are right. A soft pat on the back, a hug, a high five, or a "Way to go!" will nearly always assure the behavior will be repeated. Or say something positive about your child to someone else when you know they are listening as well. For one day give yourself a mark for each positive interaction you have with the members of your family. Try to do it for each member of the family, and keep track of the data. Put this in a notebook somewhere or on the fridge. Record any interesting experiences you may have.

Positive Interactions (one mark for each)_____________________________________________

For the second part of the assignment try an LEARN TO IGNORE AGE-TYPICAL, "JUNK" BEHAVIORS! Dr. Latham teaches us that about 95% of the things kids do that drive their parents crazy should not be given any attention at all. Just turn and walk away. Ignore it. Most likely, it is normal for the age and goes with the territory. When we jump into every argument, it gives them a great audience and encourages and usually increases the performance. Ignoring such behaviors puts it on "extinction" and it will soon lessen. Then, when the battle is not raging, continue to teach what the right behavior is and watch for a time when they are acting positive and then remember to comment on it!

Assignment #2:
Walk away from all negative behavior. Temper tantrums, quarrels, etc. qualify as long as life or limb is not threatened! As soon as it has died down, don't forget to compliment them on working it out and doing the right thing. Focus on the good! You have nothing to lose but a lot of unpleasant behaviors! Record how many times you were able to ignore the negative. Record any interesting findings.
Number of times negative behavior was ignored:

Remember to "lighten up" about this whole business of parenting. You are doing a much better job than you think! We all need to more. Our family looks at our faces as a barometer of how the world really is. Let's make sure in our own homes it is bright and positive.

Here is a chuckle for the day........ A four year old came screaming out of the bathroom to tell his mom he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So she fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Her son stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to the bathroom and came out with her toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

Good luck, and as Dr. Latham used to say:


Yvonne said...

I love your pictures--you must have such a fun family.
I watched all of the slideshow--loved it, too.

Cathi said...

Love the pictures too! Thanks for sharing them. I can never see too much of Hawaii! Looks like you had a great time too.

liza said...

Hawaii looks real fun. I want to get over there one day.

Thanks for the challenges this week on the parenting. I really need this. I am so glad you take the time to do this. I for one really appreciate it!

stacee said...

hey jodi -

i loved the photos. how fun was that? keep em' comin'!



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