We are aware of the FIRSTS but not always the LASTS

The other night I had an experience that made me stop and ponder something that has long been one of those truths that I don't like to dwell on.

I was in my room sitting on my floor in front of my fireplace checking my email on my laptop. My 11 year old son McKay came in and sat down by me and we chatted about a few things. As we were chatting he started looking at some children's books I have in a basket sitting there by the fireplace. This particular basket has many children's books in it that have become our favorites over the years...the ones that got read over and over and over. I used to spend a significant amount of time each day reading those books to my boys as they were growing up. Sadly, I honestly can't remember when the last time I read to them from those treasured books was.

McKay was thumbing through one of the books and very matter of factly said, "Mom will you read this to me?" That was not something I had heard in a very long time. He had the book A Job for Wittilda in his hands. As he asked, the thought that immediately crossed my mind first was, "I am so tired. I really am not in the mood to read a book out loud." But thankfully the next thought that popped in my head was, "What if this is the very last time he ever asks you to read to him out loud?" I knew that could be a real possibility because he is getting older and enjoys reading books to himself now.

So I said, "Sure, I'd love to." And I meant it.
Then the most amazing thing happened. This big, brawny 11 year old boy crawled right on my lap. He said something like, "We have to do it this way like always." That is how we always read together. It was so cool! I enjoyed every word of that book much more so than I used to. Just knowing that this very well may be the last time I ever read to this precious boy with him sitting on my lap made it that much more endearing.

When he was younger, I am fairly confident that the thought never crossed my mind each time I read to him that it might be the last time he asks me to.



It made me stop and really ponder the fact that when it comes to our children, we take great notice when they experience a FIRST. First step. First word. First solid food. First time sleeping in a big bed. First time away from us overnight. First tooth. First lost tooth. First day of school. First friend birthday party. We record these monumental events and even write them down in their baby books or take photos and scrapbook them so we won't forget the day and moment history was made.

We are very aware of the firsts. But how about the LASTS? It is a sad thought to realize that most of the lasts come and go without us even having a clue that they were a LAST. There is really no way to mark the lasts. Sadly we often don't realize when the lasts come. They sneak up on us ever so slowly. Just as in the case of reading children's books to our children. The requests slow down, until one day they aren't there anymore. It happens so gradually that we don't realize it has even stopped until one day we become aware that it has been a while since we read to them.

Maybe it's a good thing. I don't know. Maybe if we knew when the lasts would be, we would never let go. We might hold onto some things so tightly that our children wouldn't be able to grow up. Sounds like a good idea to me! But unfortunately our job as parents is to raise them to become responsible adults. As painful as it may be to let go, there comes a last for everything.

If we can learn to treasure each and every moment we are able to spend with our little ones, then maybe the lasts won't seem so lasting.

At least we can always hope.