Airing my Dirty Laundry

Sock it to Dirty Socks!!!
Normally I don't talk about my dirty laundry, but there are just those times when I can no longer keep it in. Sometimes I have to air it all out and feel the cleansing power of the vent (no, not the dryer vent).

As a mother of ALL boys (lots of them), I have bought, sorted, picked up, pre-treated, washed, re-washed, dried, folded, and put away MANY MANY MANYpairs of sock. Not to mention many of the un-attached (or single) ones as well. I really do believe the dryer eats spare socks. But that is a whole other post.

From this ↑

To this ↓

I do have to admit, that is not an actual photo of my boys socks, because if they ever get that bad, I happily huck them in the trash.

I have come to one conclusion through all my years of "socking".

White socks are the bane of my existence!

And probably most of yours if you also have boys. Don't get me wrong. I actually LOVE white socks. Oh yes, very much. But once those white socks are purchased and living in my home, they are no longer white! At least not completely. There may be parts of them that are still white, but that actually makes the parts that aren't, look even worse. This, however, is NOT a reflection on my laundry prowess. Trust me, I have Clorox-ed, Biz-ed, Oxiclean-ed, Spray & Washed, Shouted, and Zouted until the cows come home, but I have never been able to get them completely white and stain free. Now interestingly enough, MY white socks and MY hubs white socks, enter as white socks and die as white socks. Not so with my boys. Theirs are always laid to rest as the color of dirt.

I have since found a solution that has made me one happy camper and laundress. This one little thing has saved me hours and hours of pre-treating and re-treating and worrying what the boys friend's mothers will think when they see my boys with imperfect stained socks. Yes, I admit, I do worry about that. Even though it is totally silly. I don't want them to think I am laundry retarded or something!

I now no longer get as upset as I used to when I see the boys outside in stocking feet. I no longer cringe when a real nasty one comes through the dirty clothes. I can honestly say I am at sock peace.

How did I come to this near impossible sock peace you ask? Do you want to know? Are you ready for this? The solution is as easy as...

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BLACK SOCKS!!!

When I first noticed a couple of my boy's friends wearing them EVERY DAY, I thought WHY weren't my boys also wearing them and WHY didn't this style come in sooner? I mean really! Who in their right mind would have made wearing white socks the norm for so blasted long? No one that has boys, that I do know! I guess if I didn't want to buy new black ones, I could let them wear the real nasty ones that could almost pass as black. Unfortunately they still have to have white socks for certain things, so I can't totally eliminate all of them. But almost!

A little warning...keep in mind that they are only cool if they are the ankle (or below) socks. Wearing black socks that are calf length with shorts just might get your boys beat up. And I would not want to be responsible for that.

I am all for the black socks. But of course, if I had MY way, I would prefer they wore these ↓


But, I also know, that isn't going to happen any time soon. (unless your son's name is Donny Osmond!)
And if you really get overwhelmed with all those dirty smelly socks, there is a company now that will wash and dry all those stinkin' socks for you! How cool is that? For around $10.00 a pound, you can have someone else do your dirty laundry! My only question is, do they also sort, fold, and put them away? And if I tip them extra well, do you think they would come to my house and pick them up off the floor? Hmm...

If you want to check out the Dirty Socks Laundry Company go Here. It is for real!

I think I will stick to doing my own which is now much easier since I have found one other solution that I LOVE LOVE LOVE! I now buy each boy the same socks. Now that they are getting older, they can all wear pretty much the same size. This saves tons of time sorting and matching. Now I just wash them, mate them, (which is extremely easy when they are all the same) and then throw them in what I call our sock basket. No one gets their "own" socks anymore, they are all in a community basket so now they aren't always looking for their socks. They know the sock basket will always have a generous supply. I have a drawer where the strays go and when I get enough in the drawer I match them.

My only question now is, where were these black socks 23 years ago when I had my first son??? Never mind, I think I know the answer to that one. They were on those men "tourists" who wore them (almost always calf length) with shorts and sandals! Talk about having that GQ look! Ugh!

Dirty Socks

by Bruce Lansky

My socks are very dirty,
so I washed them in the lake.
It wasn’t long before I knew
I’d made a big mistake.
The water changed from clear to mud.
Then fumes began to rise.
And soon a cloud of air pollution
covered up the skies.
When bullfrogs started croaking
and ducks began to quack,
some campers started chanting,
“We want our clean lake back.”
I’ve got a pile of dirty socks.
I’m in an awful bind.
I guess I’ll have to bury them.
I hope the worms won’t mind.