Monday, January 12, 2009

Backwards Resolutions

Ahh....New Year's Resolutions. The self improvement program we all love to hate. After a long year behind us filled with mistakes and imperfections that we humans tend to accumulate rather easily over a 365 day period, the new year seems like the perfect opportunity for a FRESH START. For a clean slate.

And so... we make a list of things we are going to do better at during the next 365 days.

Only it ends up being 36.5 days. Or more realistically - 3.65 days.

But hey...36.5 days or 3.65 days of improvement IS better than nothing! So we do it again the next year, and the next, and the next. But as for me and myself...

NO. MORE. YES...NO more!

I am no longer going to make resolutions that only set me up for failure. Oh no. From now on I am going to set the kind of resolutions that guarantee my success.

Yes! Success! Guaranteed!

Sound like an info-mercial?

How am I going to do this you ask?

Well, that's easy. I am going to set resolutions that I will do...or more accurately, that I will NOT do. Sort of a backwards resolutions plan if you will. A list of things I can accomplish simply by NOT doing them. I saw something similar on another blog a while back and thought it just might work.

Here is my list of things I can pretty much guarantee I will accomplish (in a will not sort of way) by the end of 2009:
  1. I will not start drinking alcoholic beverages.
  2. I will not abstain from chocolate.
  3. I will not retire from blogging.
  4. I will not develop a strong distaste for purple.
  5. I will not stop reading books.
  6. I will not stop buying books.
  7. I will not eat cookies and call it dinner....(this one will take a little more work than the others)
  8. I will not buy anything pink or flowery for any of my children.
  9. I will not be done with my Christmas shopping by December 1st.
  10. I will not quit running - (see #2 and #7 for reasons on this).
  11. I will not become a crack dealer.
  12. I will not run for Mayor.
  13. I will not stop having fun with my boys.
  14. I will not sleep in past 5:30 a.m.on M thru F mornings IF (and ONLY IF) I can drag my weary bones out of bed so I can go to the gym - (see #2 & #7 for reasons on this as well).
  15. I will not enjoy cleaning bathrooms - (see #8 for reasons on this).
  16. I will not stop asking, "Who left their stinkin' dirty socks on the floor again?"
  17. I will not become a pole dancer.
  18. I will not refuse dessert.
  19. I will not say, "Guess what? I'm pregnant!"
  20. I will not break any of these resolutions...(especially #19)
We are already almost two weeks into the new year and I have accomplished them all 100% so far! Not bad!


What will you NOT do this year????


Yvonne said...

I've just about got my resolutions ready to post--but this looks like so much more fun.

I'm with you on #1, 2, 5, 18, 19--#7 may be a little tough for me ; )

Dawn said...

Great list! I loved this post. I can guarantee that I will not stop reading your blog this year. :-)

Kelsee said...

This list is great! I think I could accomplish most of them too- well except for the gym and running! But for sure the chocolate!

Great fun! Thanks!

Michelle said...

I am good with you on all but #8 & 13---lol

da Bergs said...

YOU crack me up!!! I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!

Mel said...

This is great! I'm with you 100% on all 20! I think I'm going to try this one.

deb said...

Bravo- bravo! I love these! Too funny...but are you positive you won't become a pole dancer? Can you REALLY guarantee that? lol

Kelli said...

#17 is my all time dream! hehe But since I need to loose 40 pounds I might not make much money at it. hehehaha.

Love your list!

Jeppsons said...

Cute! These are my kind of resolutions!

Shultzybabe said...

You are doing a great job!! I'm so happy for you!! ☺

nancy mc said...

Those are my kind of resolutions!

Shauna said...

Awesome! ♥ Hugs :)

LarryG said...

I will not stop running!
i have taken off about 12(lbs) over the last 10 weeks and I am hanging in there through the cold weather - myth-busting the "i can't go in the cold myth"

thanks for this cool blog of yours Jodi, I love your upbeat humor that permeates your posting!

Karen said...

This is sooo motivating! I think I WILL make a resolution this year!! Keep up the good work!


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