I had the opportunity to go to Disneyland with some friends this weekend but due to a few circumstances I was unable to go. Instead of feeling sorry for myself (because I REALLY wanted to go) I decided to focus on all that I would have missed this week had I gone. So when I see the pictures they will be posting on Facebook, instead of feeling sorry for myself and sad I couldn't go, I am going to remember that there is always an opportunity cost for everything and so I am choosing to focus on what I gained this week by NOT going. That way I will at least feel a little better during my pity party! =)
So this week, I kept a tally of all that I would have missed here at home had I gone. Here's the list:
- Hearing my son Taylor speak in three wards (the last of his missionary reports) on Sunday.
- Our traditional Valentine's Day dinner I held on Sunday because that was the ONLY time everyone could be here together.
- Being able to meet the Hollingsworth's new baby and spend some time in their home getting to know them better. He is one of Dave's counselors and so they are going to be spending a lot of time together the next 10 years and so I really want to get to know his family better.
- Attending a fireside Sunday night by Al Fox Carraway (the Tattooed Mormon) that was life changing for me in a big way.
- Seeing Taylor's amazing playoff basketball game on Monday night (a huge win!) as he made the last shot of the game to win it.
- Taking dinner into the Hollingsworths.
- Taking care of a family member when they got sick and no one else was home.
- Finishing my blog post. Pathetic I know.
- Helping a friend that needed advice.
- Taking Taylor out to lunch in Logan.
- Lunch with an old friend.
- Attending the temple with Dave.
- Getting in the temple session even though it was full and they turned away 20 people before us. At least this job has one great perk! I did feel bad about that though until a woman came up to me after the session (she was in ours too) and told me she had just been diagnosed with CF at age 32. WHAT? Yes, it's true. Anyway, had I been in Disneyland OR had we not got in that session, I would have never met her. Not sure how she knew who I was, but she did. Our paths were supposed to cross.
- Organized some mementos and some journals that I've needed to get done for a long time!
- Gained some much needed improvement (and confidence) on my running this week.
There are many more besides these, but I think those things that I would have missed out on have shown me once again that when we say yes to one thing, we always say no to something else. You just have to weigh it and decide if it's worth it or not. We can never have it all without giving up something. I once heard a speaker say, you can say yes/no or no/no, but you can never say yes/yes to anything. There is always a cost...once again, if you say yes to one thing, you always have to say no to something else. It all comes down to what is most important to us at the time. I would have survived without experiencing all of the above things, but at the same time there were some things that happened that had I gone, I would have lost what I learned from them. Now on the other hand, I am also sure there were things that would have happened that I also would have learned a great deal from, had I gone that I missed out on. Life is a matter of choices every single day, hour, and minute. There is always going to be an opportunity cost for each choice we make. Opportunity cost is defined as: The cost of an alternative that must be forgone in order to pursue a certain action. Put another way, the benefits you could have received by taking an alternative action. I like to think of it simply as what I gave up to get something else. Was giving up a girl's trip to Disneyland worth what I got by not going? That is the eternal question that I may never know the answer to until I am on the other side. Only time will tell... but the things I did gain were worth a lot to me. There will be other chances for me to go again I'm sure. But...then again, will that opportunity cost be greater than this one? Oh my, what a baffling concept this could become! hah
dear gorgeous monday morning run, I am still just reeling in these spring like temps every day! I just love that it's not so freezing this year and that I actually have to shed layers while on my runs. It's so cool! Literally! Cool is always better than freezing! I hate freezing!
My happy jumps! The endorphins had obviously kicked in! ☺
The temp on the left is what I would expect to be running in every day, but even that has been rare...the temp on the right is INSANE for February, but I'm not complaining!
dear suzie homemaker fail, today we were taking dinner into a family that had just had a baby and so I thought it would a good time to make my homemade bread since I haven't done it in a while. I'm not sure what it is about when I make food for people other than my family, something goes wrong.
THIS ↓ is the result of my efforts!
(Missing one loaf in photo that was snarfed immediately upon exiting the oven)
It still tasted great, but looked a mess! I take pride in how my baked goods look and so I really didn't want to send any to the family, but I did anyway. I figured the yummy Rice Krispy Treat heart would make up for the bread fiasco! I also made spaghetti with all the trimmings.
dear going blurry more every day, ugh! I hate that my eyes are getting so bad. I now have to wear my granny glasses if I want to be able to read anything. It's very frustrating. I think I look like a mad scientist in them so I really won't wear them in public. I'm trying to get used to the look, but I think I look like a hag. I need to look into doing surgery for the type of vision problem I have, though I don't think that sounds too fun. But, better than always trying to find my glasses! I have about 10 pair around because I am always needing a pair!
dear crazy monday night, I tried to get everyone fed before I took the dinner to our friends and before Taylor's game, but we all ended up eating at totally different times. Our FHE consisted of attending Taylor's game.Poor Taylor has a bad cold and wasn't feeling too hot. He played basketball for a few hours earlier in the day as well and was looking pretty tired. That look in the photo reminds me of when he was a little guy and was just such a calm and sweet little thing. Don't get me wrong, he STILL is, but it was kind of heart tugging to go back in my head and remember how sweet that kid always was. Just so obedient and so good. When my boys get sick, it always reminds me of when they were little for some reason. I miss those days SO much! I have really been blessed with such sweet and amazing boys.
The parentals at the game.
Who says white men can't jump?
This was the first game of the playoffs.
Taylor making the last shot to win the game! ↓ It was an INTENSE game! It was within five points pretty much the entire game, but we pulled it off for the win at the end! They played so great!
The cheering section... pretty slim, but we cheered loud!
Taylor fell right on his bad wrist (the one he has pins in) and it was really sore after the game. I am praying he didn't do some serious damage to it. I don't think it ever really healed. That was the fear after the surgery and the surgeon wasn't sure if it ever would be 100%. I'm thinking it never will be.
dear tempo run, today I did my first tempo run in my current training. I only ran four miles total. I ran at a 8:20 pace for about a mile or so and it didn't feel too bad. I think I just may be getting stronger and faster! Yay! I saw these hearts in the asphalt today. I love finding evidence of God's love on my runs! They are everywhere if you just look hard enough.
dear relief society, I headed over to the church on Tuesday night for our monthly meeting. It was on how to get the negativity out of our marriages. My cute friend Audrey taught one of the classes and I had to snap this picture for her so she can use it on her blog. And hey, I can use it on mine as well! ☺ Pictures always make blog posts more interesting. She did a fantastic job and I was so proud of her. She has a lot of confidence and you can tell she has been teaching classes through all her nursing studies because she was just a natural and so at ease and very poised. She will make a great nursing professor and is well on her way there.
I think the main thing I took away from the class was that thought she gave, "Marriage is meant for holiness not happiness. We are here to meet our partner's needs." (from John Gottman I believe). That was kind of a light bulb moment. I think so many people today get married and then wait and expect the other person to make them happy. It's just not how it works. If we want to be happy then we have to put forth the effort to make our spouse happy and we will then in turn be happy. We shouldn't go into marriage expecting it will miraculously make us happy. We have to work at that.
I also liked her point about the fact that we can't WIN an argument - the more you try to prove your point the more determined they are to stick to their point. SO TRUE. SO SIMPLE. But SO HARD to remember while in the midst of contention. Sister Stoddard shared a quote by Dale Carnegie: "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." I have read that many times whenever I read the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. It's a great book if you have never read it. So many great truths in it.
I also read an article about Diane Sawyer's marriage advice. She said: "I learned something great on one of the stories I did - someone said to me... 'A criticism is just a really bad way of making a request. So why don't you just make the request? Why don't you just say, Could we work out this thing that makes me feel this way?'"
I thought that was genius as well! So simple but yet so rarely done!
I also read an AMAZING article written by Richard Paul Evans that is too good not to share on here. It was titled, How I Saved My Marriage. The link is HERE. Everyone needs to read this. It was another one of those lightbulb moments when he said he simply asked his wife each day, “How can I make your day better?” Go read it!
dear mr. cat, I need to find a book titled: How to Win Cats Hearts and Make Them Like You. I do all the wrong things to get him to like me...like grab him and kiss him, pick him up and snuggle him, put him on my bed against his will, etc. He does NOT like to be forced to do ANYTHING. The sad part is IF I don't force him to snuggle then he rarely does. At least with me. Now Dave is a completely different story. It's maddening! He will just jump up and snuggle up to him (photo on right) and lay there for hours and just purr and purr. It makes me crazy! When he jumps on our bed at night, he rarely lays next to me, but he gets right on top of Dave's chest or stomach. UGH! I guess if I never picked him up or tortured him with my kisses maybe he would like me too. And to think the girl we got him from named him Romeo because he was so loveable.
dear hill repeats, I was glad Jen text me and asked if I was doing hills this week and said she would like to join me. I was excited to have company to do those dreaded things! We ran to Kotter and then began. I told her we would do 10 repeats because I knew she could do that many with all the trail running she has been doing. And she did it! And I was happy to not do my normal 15, especially after running there and back. We then ran home and ran up 9th north too and so actually got in 11 hills. We ran around seven miles total. It was such a beautiful and sunny day! I am just loving this weather! What a winter!
dear bryce, you headed up to do another overnighter, this time in Mantua to get some use out of your new camping gear. I do worry about you when you are gone, but at least this time it wasn't raining! When you go home you said you listened to coyotes or wolves howling all night really close to your tent! Oh man, that would have freaked me out!
dear lunch with colleen, Colleen and I planned a lunch with all her old friends for Thursday. I told her we were all missing her and so we needed to do a lunch. Colleen doesn't mess around. When something is in her head, it's done that day. I wish I were more like that! We met at Idle Isle and we had around 15 show up. It's always fun to visit with so many. I always worry that someone was left out though. Colleen made an event for it on Facebook, but not everyone is on FB and so I'm sure plenty were not informed. I always worry about hurting feelings if someone was not specifically invited even though everyone technically was.One of these things is not like the other...can you guess how?
This one was blurry, but I liked it anyway.
dear mckay, my friend Heidi sent me this photo of you and her son Dallin at USU on your field trip to the cadaver lab. Dallin is the one that broke his neck snowboarding. She said that she had to sneakily take this because Dallin gets upset with her when she takes his picture. She said she got busted after taking this and both of you "caught" her. I was happy you saw that your Mom is not the only one that takes a lot of pictures of her kids. Some day you will thank me for it. Yep...
dear pace run, today was my first race pace run. Not smart to just jump in and do a seven miler at race pace when I haven't even done a 3 or 4 yet. But, I surprised myself and was able to do it. It was TOUGH! I need to run a 9:27 for the entire marathon (26.2 miles) if I want to qualify for Boston...just running that fast for seven was a killer! That is finishing at 4:08 and I need to finish at 4:10 to BQ, but that gives me a little room because they always take the fastest and there's a chance I still won't get in even if I come in at my BQ time. But my overall average pace was 9:16! Not sure how I will maintain that for over 26 miles.I was thrilled with my splits! I stayed under my pace for nearly the entire run! Made me so happy!
When I had just finished my run, I saw this ↓
The dog was pulling the guy on his bike! And fast too! I wanted to hitch a ride home!
dear lunch with taylor, I had to run Taylor's suit up to him and so we also went out to lunch! We went to Juniper Inn because he had never been there. It was yummy! I got the hot turkey and he got a turkey steak burger.While we were ordering, I asked the guy waiting on us about one of the desserts. He said he didn't know much about it because he hadn't tried it yet, so I asked the other two girls working there. They said they hadn't tried it yet either. So of course I said, "I think you need to let them try it so they can promote it to your customers when they ask!" The girls laughed, but he said I was right and so he got a piece out and cut in fours and said we could sample it too. It was great. He asked a man that was sitting down waiting to pick up his order if he wanted a sample too, but the man just laughed and said, "No, I am just getting a kick out of watching how smoothly she got herself a sample of that." He was laughing. Taylor thought it was pretty funny too. He asked me if I got free dessert and stuff wherever I went. I told him I didn't say that to get a free sample, I just honestly meant it. He said, "Yeah right Ma, you probably get free stuff all the time because they think you're cute." Ah...that made my day. The guy was the owner of the place and came over to us as we were eating and asked if I wanted more of it. I just laughed. It was hilarious. Then I got up to go get us a refill on our water and I had to walk past two tables that were full of men. Holy heck, you would have thought they had never seen a female before. I got starred up and down. I turned to go back and watched their stares continue. It made me uncomfortable, but I do have to say it was very flattering, even though I know they would have done that to any female. But I did have the thought cross my mind that maybe they were starring because I was trailing a piece of toilet paper that got stuck on my shoe or something. ☺Yeah, that's much more likely.
We went grocery shopping and I helped Taylor stock up on a few things. The above photo is of his apartment. Aggie Flats. He is standing out on the second floor in the middle one. His place is pretty tiny for four guys, and very dark. They are trying to find a new place for the fall. I went and talked to the manager to see about some reimbursements due to not having a working oven, TV, toilet, and a problem shower for over a month. They just passed the buck as they have been doing for over a month now.
dear fun tradition, on Tyson's angelversary our friends the Olsen's always bring over a chocolate ecstasy dessert to our family and we in turn do the same for them. It was their son's BJ's angelversary on Friday and so I made this to die for (maybe not the best description considering why we do this - hah!) heavenly blissful treat for them. It is something that helps make that day a little bit easier for us both just knowing something yummy is on it's way that night.And yes, I also made one for my family. I would be disowned if I didn't! Taylor wanted to know how the tradition started and I honestly couldn't remember, but I am pretty sure Audrey started it. Hey Audrey if you read this, let me know! ☺
dear long run, I only had to go 10 miles today! That won't happen again until after the marathon! Robin wanted to go with me and so we headed out and ran around town. It was supposed to rain or snow but we had a clear run. We ran past the sewer today which is something I do often. It's not ever a pleasant smell, but today for some reason it was THE MOST DISGUSTING SMELL EVER! It was worse than having your head shoved down into a porta potty. I have never smelled anything so horrid! I had to take a photo of Robin as we ran past. We were both holding our noses and screaming because it was so awful! Oh man....HORRIBLENESS!
dear snow in february, whaaaaaat? Snow in the winter? That was a shock! We haven't seen the stuff since Christmas Day. The ground is usually very snow-packed by now, but not this bizarre winter. It was so gorgeous as it was lightly falling. I absolutely loved it! And I know it won't stay because it's just too warm. But it was fun while it lasted.
dear let me take your picture, this is what happens when I try to take a photo of my boys!
dear dance, it was Sweathearts on Saturday and McKay had been asked by this girl who I don't know. I don't think he really knows her well either. But he is always so polite and goes with whoever asks first.
dear sunday, since it's ward conference's in our stake and since Dave speaks at every single one of them, I decided to try and catch his talk today since it was before our regular meeting and since I had my Sunday School all prepared. I snuck in the back of the church where he was speaking and got there before he spoke, but the back was pretty filled up and so I snuck up on the stage. I could still see him, but was hoping I was inconspicuous since I arrived in the middle of the meeting. As luck would have it, he only got five minutes to speak. But he still did a great job and I'm glad I went. My Sunday School class today went well. I am really liking these kids. I always think I will never like the next class as well as the one before, but I always do. Taylor came home after he attended a missionary homecoming and so he was able to eat with us. Then our home teachers came and then we had a fireside at 7:00.
dear fireside, this fireside was for the youth and I technically didn't have to go, but oh my goodness, I would have really missed out had I not gone. The place was packed and I sat by McKay, and of course, Dave sat on the stand. The theme was on how to overcome adversity and be happy. Sister Munns spoke first and she always does a fantastic job. Her husband was killed three years ago and she talked about how she dealt with that and other trials in her life. Then Brother Williams spoke about how to be resilient which is not the same as mental toughness. In the middle of his talk he was talking about how the youth will have trials in their life and the things they are going through right now will prepare them for their future trials. He said we have a lot of missionaries serving in our stake right now and that he was able to listen to Elder Wilding last week who just returned home from Brazil. He said he learned that it is hot and humid over there and that he had to adjust to sleeping in a hammock, and that he didn't get a Serta mattress. He also said that Elder Wilding had to overcome some tough things on his mission but he was able to do that because of the hardships he had before his mission that prepared him for those. It was cool! I was wishing Taylor had come just to hear that. Both of them talked about how gratitude is one of the keys to happiness. I am telling you, it is one of the most important principles of life, and I just don't understand why it's not talked about even more. Gratitude is how I survive all of my hard trials in life. Then after he spoke, Dave had to give some remarks. I was totally unprepared for his talk...as was he since he had no idea he was to speak until he got up on the stand. I should have taken a box of Kleenex. He talked about how he had no idea he was to speak but the Lord knew. He started with how his mission President emailed him when he saw the announcement in the church news that he was a new stake president. He told how he asked him to tell him about his family and how he specifically asked about his son that passed away. He said how when Skyler had left for his mission he left a note written on a white board in his room that said, "See ya in two years!" and how we never erased that the entire time he was gone and little did we know that Tyson would pass away while he was serving and only had a few months to go but he didn't come home for the funeral but did send us a letter to have read at his funeral which we now have framed. He said he happened to have it with him because of the letter he had written to his mission president that morning. He read it and I was really struggling to hold it together. I did pretty well, but it wasn't easy. The letter says:
A great comfort comes in knowing the binding chains of death,
Forged to end all hope for a future reunion,
Have been burst by One who stands at the head of all truth,
And who is the captain of our souls.
Tyson has now been welcomed to the ranks of battle
With other faithful saints, fervently voicing his
Testimony of the true and living God.
He is carrying forth this great work in ways we cannot now comprehend.
The war raged for the souls of men is
Being fought on both sides of the veil and each is in
Need of enterprising warriors committed to such a cause.
Tyson is one such warrior. Throughout his life,
he taught us what it means to "Endure it well."
And to keep fighting, even when all odds are against us.
Though his body now rests, his spirit is active and free.
It is a great cause of joy, rejoicing, and comfort
To know that he has passed away in peace from
This life and has secured for himself a glorious resurrection.
-Elder Skyler Wilding
Ironically McKay had to teach Priesthood today on how to cope with losing a loved one and he also took this letter in it's frame and read it to the Priests today. It amazes me how the Lord works. It just amazes me how it all comes together so perfectly and so unexpectedly sometimes. Dave talked about what a great kid Tyson was and how he endured so much but was so happy and how we didn't have any regrets because we made sure he knew how much we loved him. Try and hold it together when that is being said at the pulpit! Oh my. The tears were flowing, but I kept them in check. I wanted to be alone so I could just let it all out and have a really good cry. If Dave wasn't already a stake president I would have predicted he would be someday after listening to him tonight. He did an amazing job — and on the spot too. He really has been prepared for this calling. He never ceases to amaze me how prolific and how everything he says is so profound. He has a gift for speaking and a way to deliver a message that is so compelling. He is very eloquent and brings in the spirit so strong. I made a lot of resolves tonight to try and be a better person and to try and let things go so I can be. I also really felt like there are other things I need to accomplish and I have been inspired to do them. Now if the resolve will stick!
My chocolate buddy Jaida was there!
Taylor stayed home to finish writing an essay. I was glad he was able to be home even if for only a few hours.
dear purple, I found out some new info about you this week. Read the middle paragraph of this article.I had no idea! I knew purple was the color of royalty, but I had no idea Christ's robe was purple before he was crucified! How awesome to know my favorite color has that meaning behind it! I knew there was a reason why I liked it! ☺
dear one word, here is a good reminder why I needed the word NOW...
dear quotes this week...
...kindness doesn't go unanswered.
Even though it seems like thanks and acknowledgments for good deeds are in short supply, God notices them. When you feel like giving up because gratitude eludes, remember that God is delighted in your efforts. Don't stop showing kindness because you feel unappreciated, the author of good things appreciates you very much.